He's Suddenly Distant Over Text


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This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Lia 4 months ago.

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  • #680039 Reply

    Eira

    I’ve been talking to this guy for about 5 months now. We both study at the same college and are in the same grade which is how we met. At first, the talking was pretty casual, nothing serious just feeling the other person out. Then a month ago, he started saying things like I miss you when I was on vacation over spring break, even though we had only seen/met up twice before as out communication was mainly through text. This is because even though we study at the same school, I go to a different campus than him so I can only see him once a week. Anyways, he started saying things like I miss you and after I returned from vacation he confessed he really liked me. We kept talking but didn’t meet up because of reasons on my side that prevented me from doing so. It was still all fine. Then recently a few days ago he started getting distant in texts. We would usually talk all day and then the next day he would text me good morning or if I went to sleep first I would say it and we would continue talking but mostly he would initiate. Ever since school started I noticed his texts are much more short and over longer periods of time. I think it might have something to do with school, maybe he is stressed and finding it difficult to adjust to moving back on campus. I am still at a different campus so we don’t see each other as much as we would like. I asked him if he is okay and he said he is but didn’t go into detail as he finds it hard to open up. I also had a conversation with him regarding how he feels about me as I was feeling very insecure and had heard in the past that he had “player” ways. He reassured me he was serious about me and that he doesn’t like wasting his time, but he is still distant and withdrawn over text. What should I do in this situation? I don’t want to keep asking him what’s wrong bc I don’t think he wants to talk about it and I also don’t want to be the one to keep initiating texts because I don’t want to seem needy or clingy or crowd him. I want to give him space but am scared he might just be distancing himself from me or will stop talking to me if I don’t reach out first. Should I text him or leave him alone and see if he will reach out. Please help!



    #680040 Reply

    Raven

    How often do you two see each other in person?

    #680053 Reply

    Eira


    Last semester we tried to see each other every week or as often as we could even though our campuses are far.

    #680056 Reply

    Anne

    Easy answer, sorry to be blunt, but even though you are intelligent and hard working college students, this all boils down to a relationship that was mostly text.

    Classic case of you built up a false sense of connection by texting extensively

    #680058 Reply

    Tanya


    I think you should give your guy space. for whatever reason, he is not willing to reveal, he is distant and you should not spent your time thinking about this reason. It could be 100 reasons,stress, a bad phase, another girl, whatever!one thing that is true about men is that when they want to reach out they do, no matter what. I think we ladys have more ego even when we want someone really bad. try to do things on your own, study, go out with friends, flirt , whatever gets your mind off. at the end if he doesn’t care enough to keep in touch with you , why should you?

    #680074 Reply

    Amanda

    All you need to know is this: unless a guy is asking you out on dates, paying for you, making major efforts to see you in spite of his schedule, etc, then he is not worth your time. There are so many men like this who will waste a woman’s time with cheap words over text. You realize he could be doing this with four other women, right? I give a man two weeks max of texting and if he doesn’t properly ask me out I move on. You are in college and have plenty of real men to date all around you. Don’t put up with time wasters.

    #680091 Reply

    Lia


    think about it this way – you’re texting him because you care. you’re scared you’re gonna lose him. well, if he cared, wouldn’t he do the same thing? my mom one time said, “I suspect if you stopped texted, you’d never hear from that boy again.” well isn’t that indicative that he doesn’t actually give a damn and you shouldn’t be wasting your time?

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