Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He's going through stuff
- This topic has 12 replies and was last updated 6 months, 4 weeks ago by
Meetali.
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Sara
What does it mean when a guy slams on the relationship breaks and tells you that he is dealing with something but doesn’t want to drag anyone into it? He says that he is still really into me and that he had an amazing time over the times we saw each other. And this is coming from a guy who never has a problem saying exactly how he feels. I know I need to give him space, but for how long? How long should I wait before moving on?
Khadija
Sara,
Yes, please give this guy space. If or when he is ready for a relationship let him contact you. He needs to deal with whatever he is going through right now.
In the meantime don’t wait around on him and it’s okay to start dating other people.
Oftentimes women make the mistake of waiting around and hoping when he’s gotten through his stuff he’ll call. Life and feelings change for people all the time.
Don’t put your life on hold for anyone especially a guy that is not your boyfriend.Kate
How long have you been dating ? Do you know what he’s dealing with?
Sara
Kate,
We hadn’t been dating very long. Only a few weeks, but they were a very active few weeks. Saw each other at least 3 times a week and texted back and forth every day, all at his initiation. I don’t know much about what he’s dealing with, except that he said it had to do with his father. He hasn’t spoken to me in the last few weeks, even after I texted him to wish him a happy birthday. However, last night he started some activity on Facebook, through liking posts and such.Amy S
Hi. Prepare yourself that this might be over. Sorry but he could be a coward and this is his gentle way of breaking it off. Hopefully not but live your life like it is as u don’t want to be waiting and waiting for him. Good luck x
patsytshirt
Agree with Amy. I think he did a fade out, now he is back online but as soon he notices you are still on his friends list or if you inbox him he will block you.
Sara
My apologies, I missed a few words that change the context. When I said he started some Facebook activity, I meant that he had started liking some of my posts specifically. I’ve been carrying on the past few weeks as if it more than likely is over. I hope it’s not, but ive been keeping busy and distracting myself.
Khadija
He can like your post all he wants, that still isn’t dating you.
Keep up the good work by doing your own thing.
He will either figure things out or you will meet someone else.Ivy
Give him his space and mentally assume this is over. Don’t place yourself in some emotional holding pattern for a man who you’ve just known a few weeks.
Do your own thing.
Date other men.
If this guy really wants to date you then he will be back, if not, then he isn’t your guy.
Delete the messages he’s sent you, delete any emails as well. This will help you let go, but don’t worry about letting go because if he’s meant for you then you letting go won’t push him away, you letting go will allow him to decide to come to you if he wants to.
Don’t feel guilty about moving on either, don’t ever feel that he isn’t brave enough to pursue you if he wants you.
Don’t think that letting go isn’t going to bring him to you either. You need to fully let go and assume it’s now time for you to move on.
Do not initiate contact with him and do not respond back to any facebook post or liking.
Good luck
Rahner
We dated last year 2 months. He told me to move on he weren’t ready for a relationship. He contacted me 4 months later to get together. Weird experiences happened. He said we not meant to be together. I contacted him 2 months later. He wanted to meet, texting all the time and then on the day, he canceled. Doesn’t initiate texts ever since. Says his going through a lot and is busy.
Andrea
Sara, you said it’s only been a few weeks. Have you slept with him? He may have just been after sex.
tammy
an old post
Meetali
Hey I hope you’re in a good place now. It’s been years since this post but I recently say this and have been going through the exact situation. You already must know by now what he meant and what he wanted. Took me 2 years to figure out he never really liked me let alone love me. Said the exact words going through something. I now know next time I hear these words I run for the hills. Good luck. Dear sara. I wish you all the happiness bc that’s what I wish upon me too. Hopefully I find mine soon
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