This topic contains 2 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by michi 5 months, 1 week ago.
July 7, 2013 at 5:13 am #21490
I have read many of your FAQs and subscribed to your email club but I feel like my situation is a little different. Please help me Eric. I am 22 years old. So there’s this guy, we’ll call him T, who I’ve known for 7 years, we became really good friends about 2 1/2 yrs ago and I noticed about 2 years ago that I was starting to have feelings for T as more than a friend. We began getting really, really close. He would call me all the time, we’d talk on the phone really late, hang out a lot, felt like we totally got each other and were getting really close. We told each other everything and knew everything about each other. I sat up with him in the ED all night long one night, we worked together to clean/pack/move a mutual friend’s house, and he helped me through the sudden death of a friend. We have a lot of the same interests and are in a community group together. We would flirt and things were great, but I still sometimes would get mixed signals and we were not holding hands/kissing/really “going out”, still wasn’t entirely sure if T liked me. Then out of the blue T tells me he is seeing a girl from his work. I was crushed and for some reason felt like I had to straight up tell T that I liked him (I now deeply regret doing that). T told me that he liked me too, didn’t know why he hadn’t said anything, and that now he was seeing this girl but if/when things changed with her he could see us together as a couple. (SN: T is 18 currently- 4 yrs younger than me, he also told me at the time that our age difference doesn’t matter to him). This was bittersweet, but I made myself cope with it. I tried to get over him but could not. That was about 1 1/2 yrs ago, he is now single, I had one relationship during that time, but just a short non-serious couple month kind of thing that I ended bc I felt no chemistry. We remained friends throughout but there was a period of almost a yr immediately after I confessed my feelings for him where things felt strained due to my honest confession. I am still in love with T today and crave a relationship with him. Over the past 6 months we have began to grow very close again, spending a lot of time together, long phone conversations, to the point where our mutual friends joke about us being together, although we sadly are not. But he still sends me mixed signals…some days he doesn’t text/call at all and ignores my texts, other days he calls me out of nowhere and we talk/hang out for hours on end. One of my closest friends (a girl) thinks he likes me but is just nervous/doesn’t want to label it gf/bf just yet and that I should just appreciate what I have without needing a title. I am willing to wait if needed (I’ve already waited for years), he’s the kind of guy I would wait forever for, but sometimes I worry that I am imagining things and seeing things he does/says as signs he likes me only bc that’s what I want to be true. If he would just come out and say he likes me too then I could be assured that it’s not all just in my head. What should I do? Does he really like me? Is it selfish of me to want to know for sure if it’s real? Please help me; I am willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. I have plenty of self confidence and know there are other guys out there, so please don’t tell me that. What can I do to make things work with this guy? Thanks.July 7, 2013 at 1:12 pm #21563
The guy knows how you feel and told you that if he was not dating the other girl, he would date you and the told you that if it ended, you two would be going out.
If he really liked you, I would think that he would have dumped the other girl to be with you as soon as he found out how you felt. You two had history which is an important part of a relationship.
That he did not ask you out after he broke up with the other girl is also a bit of a red flag that he is not truly interested.
Aside from talking to him directly, I am not sure what else to suggest. You could just back of completely and see how he responds, but he is not doing what he said he would which is the biggest indicator of how he feels.July 7, 2013 at 9:19 pm #21615
agree with bedazzle. try to not see hin and ignore him. usually people take others forgranted for they know you will always be there for them. but try not to, and ull see how he will react.