Help! What to Do?

If he wad really into you it would be obvious.

Khadija no I did not take the pill. Do you think that made him lose interest as I didn’t stop it? Maybe he thinks I always do things like that? I’m just so confused as to what happened

Agree with Becky. You seem to be projecting and trying to rush the relationship because you’re now having sex. Most women change after sex and it’s shame because the carefree girl is the one the guy was dating prior to the physical act. Breathe. Relax. The issues of concern over sex need to be decided within yourself. For the future – a better way to have handled it would have been waiting until the next time you were headed toward intimacy and matter of factly, saying something like “after reflecting about it I feel most comfortable using a condom until we talk and decide something different, not deciding in the heat of things” Then just kiss him and move on.

End of the day this guy either likes you enough to lock you down or he doesn’t. When you love yourself a lot you’ll only be interested in him if he keeps being consistent. Live your life. If he’s still dating others — I would recommend you continue to date others. Whatever will be will be – but you can put unnecessary strain on a blossoming potential partnership by initiating to many “talks”. Women should take a page from men, in that, men usually are able to just LIVE IN the relationship, versus talking about it. Less talking. More doing what’s best for you such as – drawing back and focusing on you, letting him lead and make decisions if you don’t see it going anywhere and intentionally practice being present and enjoying moments instead of wondering too much where he’s at. We all have to practice this.

Youre acting like this is all on you and on top of that that this caused him to see you differently like you sleep around or something?
I wouldnt have said what you said. And also you dont know how he thinks of you at all. Its too soon to tell. If he is pulling away, let him go. In that case he wasnt too interested anyway.
You have more to risk with unsave sex than him since you can get pregnant on top of std’s. It happened, just make sure it doesnt happen again.

“I”m open to seeing where things go” is not a very strong “buy” signal, so to speak. It’s pretty weak and wishy washy to be honest. I hear that as “I’ll let you audition for me, you might be able to convince me to be with you.”

Why oh why oh why do women so freely and easily give their hearts and bodies before they have ANY clue if the man they’re handing all the good stuff to on a silver platter is worthy or even truly interested to receive all of their awesomeness?? Number one mistake on this site, hands down.

There’s no telling what he’s really thinking… but it truthfully doesn’t sound like he’s all that interested and that this is really going anywhere.

I’m sorry, but it also doesn’t say anything very positive about either of you that you both kept going even though you were well aware the condom broke. That’s literally playing Russian roulette with creating a life that you would both be responsible for the rest of your lives, when you hardly know each other. And the woman is the one who gets left holding the bag if she gets pregnant. The guy can just disappear. Or just send checks and never get involved in the child’s life. Was that roll in the hay really worth becoming a single mom? I”m not trying to shame you, just trying to get you to think about the gravity of the situation when you leave yourself open for unwanted pregnancy.

This kind of sets it up like cheating. Two people meet while they’re with others and start a secret side relationship. One leaves to be with the other to be told by the other they aren’t leaving… because the one can’t be trusted as they cheated on their SO.

That translates to this situation as…he didn’t stop… but you didn’t either. This is totally unfair and a double standard, but he he won’t necessarily look at the fact that he should have, he will look at you and think, hmmmmm she might be trying to trap me or simply, I can’t rely on her to make sure she won’t get pregnant.

This one may or may not work out. I hope you learn some things of value either way as you keep dating.

You are now riding the oxytocin train and grasping at anything to keep him, and talking in circles going nowhere.

BIG MISTAKE. You are not capable of having sex and maintaining the chill girl cool factor, you internally implode because of the hormones released from sex which BTW are the same one’s that bond a woman to her newborn baby!

Problem is, men don’t have them. Theirs are actually depleted so they don’t feel any of that attachment or bonding when having sex which is why men instinctively pull back because the female bonds to them instantly and that vibe freaks them out if they haven’t bonded to you yet.

He hasn’t bonded, and probably won’t especially due to this where he’s now super concerned about an unwanted pregnancy. This is plaguing his mind, as it should, as he’s potentially going to be a ‘daddy for life.’ May I ask why YOU aren’t on the pill or have a Plan B, literally, for events like this? As the woman its YOUR JOB to ensure there are no unwanted pregnancies as you bear the highest risk and burden, and need to take this seriously.

I don’t believe the two of you can last solely based on him not bonding to you, and the potential of a pregnancy to boot…a double whammy. For future reference, a man who’s bonded/highly interested would never say “let’s see where things go.” Believe THE NEGATIVES, where if its not a “HELL YES”, then its a hell no.

Anon I actually responded with “I wasn’t looking for something but if it happens I’m not opposed to it”. I am not going to continue having sex with him.

I’m definitely not looking for just “casual”. I also didn’t want to come on too strong with my answer if I said well I am looking for a relationship & have him think I have some sort of agenda and scare him. Now is it too late for me to express that to him?

Dating takes time and you dont want to waste too much on guys who are not looking for a relationship. I dont think having sex with a guy on date 5 is a terrible idea, but it wont change much in the guys proces of deciding they see a future as a team. I think this guy has moved on, since he didnt ask you out again. Thats not your fault. You might want to Google 7 steps a guy falls in love. I recommend it a lot as a very clear way to understand a guy’s mind. Take care and just chill

Diane- You really want a cheeter?!