Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › He won't add me to FB!?
- This topic has 11 replies and was last updated 5 years, 8 months ago by
Niki.
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Sara
Hi ladies, and maybe guys?? I need some advice..
I’ve been dating this guy for about 3.5 months. We get along awesome, the relationship is great, he has his typical guy reservations, but other than that, all is good. He wants to move slow, I’m good with that as I can be very guarded. We haven’t met each other’s family, as both our families live far out of town. We somewhat talk about a possible future, but nothing too serious right now, as we are still very new and taking it slow. But I have a problem!!!!! One day at lunch we were telling funny stories about facebook, or things that our friends have said/done. At the time I didn’t bring up the fact that we are not FB friends, I think I felt chicken to ask, in fear of rejection? Anyways, the next day I sent him a text saying, “Hey, since we’re not fb friends yet and I can’t seem to find you on fb, you should look for me and add me! :) ” He replied back saying, “Yeah I had to change my name on there, as I was getting some kids I work with, adding me. :) ” And that was it! He didn’t even attempt to answer my request of him adding me, he didn’t even mention it. Does he not want to add me!?!? If not, why??? I don’t think he’s cheating on me, but I find it unsettling that he doesn’t want to add me. Am I overthinking this!?!?
Sara
I forgot to mention that he did say that he doesn’t want to move fast in our relationship. Do you think adding me would be a way of “moving fast” in his eyes?
Phoebe
My guy and I were friends on FB before we started seeing each other exclusively, and “somehow”, his ex-gf got into his account and deleted a bunch of people…me included. (Still not sure I believe that, but it was over a year ago. lol)
We have been together for about 10 months now, and I have never re-sent a friend request. I don’t want to get unnecessarily upset about any stupid things that may ruffle my feathers, I don’t want to see what he might be doing instead of spending time with me, AND….I like to have fun on FB with my friends….which means harmless flirting with my male friends. I would never cheat, but a few of my guy friends do tend to cross a few lines. My last bf used to get VERY upset.
If he and I ever get engaged, then I’ll think about it. In my opinion though, the healthiest thing about a relationship is no trace of it on FB. It causes way too many stupid issues. Just my two cents, having “been there, done that!” lol
LAgirl
FB is silly and asking to be friends will only create drama. He clearly gets that, and is why he is not asking to be friends.
Its never a good idea to be FB friends with a man you start seeing. It creates situations for misinterpretations/misunderstandings/arguments.
Be careful… men who say they ‘want to go slow’ can also be code for not wanting a relationship. Have you discussed what he is looking for overall out of dating?
Has he made you his official GF?
Max Attack
If he can’t or wont be your friend on FB he is hiding who he is. You are spending your time with him, you should be apart of that life. He may want to appear single for others to see. Since he doesn’t want to get too serious, date other guys, flirt with them. He doesn’t appreciate what he has.
Aries
Max Attact is correct!!
Also Facebook does cause alot of drama, if he was really into u he would add u.. you guys have been dating for 3 to 5 months and your not on his fb and still havent met his family etc.. thats more like a friends with benefits / pretend relationship.. he doesnt want u on there because he doesnt want others to no hes in a relationship w.you.. this could be his family and friends and/or other females. If i were u id leave him before he finds a more serious relationship and leaves u.
Sara
I really liked what Phoebe had to share, the reason ive been hesitant on asking him again or bringing it up is because I don’t know if being on his fb right now is the best idea. I don’t want to hunt for things and look for things that might ruffle my feathers, but Im just very curious as to why he didn’t even comment on my request?
I’m certainly not going to jump to an assumption that he doesn’t appreciate me, nor do I believe he’s cheating on me. And we’ve been together for 3 1/2 months, not 3 to 5. We haven’t met each other’s family because both families live very far away, and neither of us have gone to see them. Our families and friends know about each other, so no one is hiding each other. We do have the title and we definitely had that exclusive talk.
Ali
Have you seen him check his facebook in front of you ever? Maybe he’s just not a big social media guy. Or maybe he deleted his account. He could really just not see what the big deal is. I’d just mention it again like “so you never did add me on facebook, Im curious what you changed your name to on there. Rico suave would fit you nicely” make a joke out of it and see what he says
Harley
Fb…is addictive shite
Ignore it. May e he just wants to keep a level of independence. Who knows.I’d be more concerned with what lagirl says re his’ taking it slow ‘
Na
He’s hiding. And stop being afraid. First, go listen to Rob Kowalski or YouTube HGTudor. Social media is a cesspool for liars and narcissists.
Be friends first. F. R. I. E. N. D. S. Not more. When they want to jump in bed after several months, they should already have added you and introduced you to their friends.
I agree that fb causes drama. But lying manipulators cause heartache. He’s not being honest. Walk away
Amber
Ancient post
Niki
You haven’t met each other’s families and friends and are taking it slow…because he wants to take it slow I bet.
See if you can find him via block user. If you can it means he has blocked you.
I suspect no one knows about you in his circle and he isnt serious about you.
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