He says something is missing

Okay well, I tend to ramble so I will try to keep this as short yet specific as I can.
I’ve been exclusively dating R since about October 2014. When we had first started even talking (maybe February of ’14) I hadn’t been ready to open myself up to a relationship because I was too afraid of falling hard and getting hurt. I’d been single for 6 years for crying out loud! Anyway, long long story short, we spent a couple of months not really talking (my fault; I faded away), and then he reached out to me, told me he still felt something and couldn’t imagine it not being mutual and wanted to really try for at least a date. So we spent a few months more talking and getting to know one another and he really helped me to open myself up to feeling again. We went on a date and the rest, as they say, is history. Things were super great at first. He was always super attentive and sweet; he was always reaching out to talk to me and even though we live longish-distance (about 2 hours) and we both work a lot of hours, we did our best with seeing each other once or twice a month and with skyping a couple of times a week. If we weren’t skyping we were always texting. I felt this amazing click with him. We could talk about anything and everything. We talked about our interests and hobbies, we talked about what we wanted for our futures, and yes even though it was early we talked about if we wanted marriage and children (not specifically with each other, just in general to see if our desires for our futures matched up so as not to waste anyone’s time). He specifically had told me that, as he’s 28 he isn’t looking to date around. He’s only had a couple of long-term relationships and the last one ended 4 years ago. He wants to find that one special person to settle down with, form a lasting relationship with, get married and have a family. Our interests, desires, and our values really match up on every level and we really thought that this would be great. We were going to just take things at our own pace and see where it went from there. It was in November that we agreed we were “exclusive” (seeing/talking to only each other) and he told me then and a month or so after that that it was fully his intention to make this an “official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.”

Things had turned a bit weird in January. We slept together for the first time (something we’d discussed first to make sure we both felt ready) and not long after he became distant and only rarely was he reaching out to start conversations (as compared to before when every other day he was starting them. We went from talking almost every single night to barely a few times a week). I knew he had been sick so I gave him some time, but even after that he was still distant. I finally asked him what was going on and he said he was having doubts. He knew he was attracted to me and interested in pursuing this but was unsure with how things were going to actually work considering our distance. He said him being sick (yes in his defense really sick) for those few weeks had set us back, and he had some concerns, but he did still want to pursue this. Things slightly picked up and then in March we took a trip together (he actually booked the hotel room even! That was a pleasant surprise for me! I had half been expecting to have to book my own room since I wasn’t sure where things were headed at that point). It was a 4-night/3-day trip and at the end of it all we talked about what had been going on and where this was going. He’d told me he was still interested but was having concerns. He said that though he is attracted to me and we have a strong physical connection and a good emotional connection, he has concerns about the distance we live and whether we connect on every level. In return I’d told him that I understand having doubts, but that him fading on me like that really hadn’t been fair to me. I told him I’d been worried the whole time, especially considering the timing and how drastic of a change it’d been, that he’d found someone else. He promised me that I am and have been the only one, he just has an issue of when things get tough or confusing he just runs away. He said one of his biggest problems in past relationships is not talking about what’s going on in his mind and feelings and he really doesn’t want to do that here. R said he really enjoyed the weekend and felt like it had been really good for us since we’d spent so much time together. He didn’t want to let his emotional high (so to speak) rule out his head, so he was going to go home and really think about things and how he felt.. We went to our respective homes and I thought things were okay.
After that we were talking more often and I was hopeful. Then the slide-back happened again in April. I knew that he’d been taking more hours on at his 2nd job, and he’d told me at the start of April that his family was going through a rough patch with another family member, but I was getting worried it might be something more. I tried several different approaches too to see if anything changed; I tried being more friendly, it didn’t work. I tried being more distant, it didn’t work. Now if I was hearing from him more than twice a week I was lucky!
Finally the other night I basically decided enough is enough. I wanted to be open with my feelings no matter what the cost. I figured no matter what the outcome at least I would have clarity. I give myself some serious credit here because I really was very calm about it. I told R that I know he’s got a lot going on and is busy, but the change between us was obvious and it worried me. I really respect that he works as hard as he does, but that his distance was also all too obvious. I acknowledged that I know he has concerns and doubts, and I know he isn’t ready for a full commitment yet, but I am still interested and I do still want to pursue this and I asked in return for his feelings on things.
Would you believe that he apologized AND took the blame?!?!?!
He told me that his feelings are where they were before; he still isn’t sure if this will work and he questions it. He feels like there is chemistry, both physically and emotionally but he can’t figure out if it will ever be more. The distance makes it hard to find those answers. Every time he thinks about it he runs into the same question; do our personalities mesh like what he is looking for? He is still attracted to me and I am a great person and on his checklist (his words, not mine) I cross off a lot of what he is looking for, but he feels like there is still something missing and he can’t figure out what it is or if it will ever be found. He is waiting for that “click” and hasn’t felt it yet. He says that’s where we differ; I have felt that click and I know it and he hasn’t found it yet.
I told him that I really want to help him figure that out. It’s hard for me because he used to seem so sure of us clicking and of him feeling that and then things changed. I told him I understood his concerns and I know it might be tough and it might be scary but any relationship/dating issue really is. I know that the distance sucks, but if he actually does want to answer that question of “will we actually work” or if he wants to find if that “click” can be found then we need to actually make that effort to see one another and talk more. You can’t want to find answers but then not make an effort to try to find them after all. Nothing will be forced of course, but how are we to ever know if anything will work, if we don’t actually try? I don’t believe in just throwing in the towel, and I don’t want to just give up yet. (if he told me he wanted to I would understand of course). He told me he understands and told me that I haven’t done anything wrong at all; I am a truly great person. He said that this is all on him and it’s his problem of trying to discover what it is he wants. He reiterated that on paper I seem to be a lot of what he wants but now it is a matter of him figuring out why he isn’t feeling it as much as he wants to. “What is it that’s missing?” He acknowledged that yes he has a lot going on but so does everyone and he doesn’t want to use that as an excuse.
I told him that I know he’s got a lot going on and I am here to support him whenever he needs it, and I am here to talk also. I understand him being confused, as once before it took me a long time to really open myself up and let myself feel. I told him he was once there for me to help me figure out my feelings and now I want to do the same for him (paying back the favor so to speak). He thanked me, and agreed that he would be up for having a couple days a week where we skype and having a day or two a month where we do go on a date (if not more if possible). He said he wants to give us a fair shot, if it doesn’t work so be it, but we may as well see what happens.

But now I am having a problem of not knowing how to act. The conversation happened this past Thursday and we haven’t spoken since. I don’t want to be up his butt about things, but I don’t want to just sit around and hope he texts me first. I guess I am just afraid that he’s basically convinced himself that it is not going to work and isn’t going to actually try because he’s just afraid of being proven right?
I’m not sure what I’m really hoping to accomplish by even writing this. Maybe I just need some moral support? Maybe some advice of how I should act next? Or maybe some happy ending stories from those of you who have dealt with similar situations? Really any of that would be great. thank you.