Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He read my message and didn't reply
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Anne.
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Gemma
And I am so cross I wanna explore.
Me and this guy have pretty serious for 9 months now.
Stay overs dates out etc all is good.Lately I have been busy and so has he.
We saw each other Sunday, he didn’t talk much since expect few good mornings and how’s day going since.
He messaged me good morning yesterday morning, I replied around 1 as I was busy at work.
He replied pretty quick and said he was at work.
I said okay x
He didn’t say anything else.So today after I finished work I messaged him,
Hope you’re good, what happening with you tonight” he read it very quickly and nothing.He has been online.
I feel so disrespected, I want to cut him off, block him, delete him, shout at him but I don’t know which way to go
Help!!!!!!!!!!
alia
Your reaction is disproportionate to the offense. Are you sure you have been going steady and happily with this guy? If him missing one text makes you want to cut him off, perhaps there are other problems?
All in all, he missed one text.Gemma
alia It has been going so well so why would he do that to me? This why I am so upset.
I’m good babe” would’ve been enough. We normally talk in person, it not like I was expecting a lot. We only text to stay contact and make plans or to see what we are up to. So why disrespect me by ignoring me like I am nothingNikki
Maybe he is in the middle of a project or something for work. Maybe his boss is in the room. Maybe he was on the phone when you texted so he couldn’t text back.
b
you need to chill the eff out.
it’s been how long since he read the message? hours? unless it’s been days of nothing, you need to pump the brakes and breathe.
if you’re considering cutting a guy off for not immediately dropping everything and validating your sense of worth through something as mundane as a text message, there are clear issues on your end with self esteem and emotional control.
i don’t expect this lasting long term if this is how you react. childish.
Gemma
B he has been online since.
And it has been 4 hours since he read my message.And he is self employed so he has no boss to answer to.
I think it is absolutely wrong for him to ignore my message like that.
I thought we were in good place, I actually thought I was falling in love with this guy and now he does this.
Only Sunday morning he was telling me how much I mean to him and now he looks at my message and acts like it’s nonsense.b
i’m sorry if i came off as harsh but i used to be just like you and it took a lot of maturity and growth and self respect to grow out of it.
i needed validation in the form of replies. 4 hours is a lot of time, but it’s still not days. he could be working on projects.. read your message and is meaning to get back to you when he has some free time.
if you don’t hear from him by tomorrow, THAT is when i’d be angry.
just try to breathe. he’s likely busy. there’s no reason he has to intentionally ignore you.
alia
Maybe he felt comfortable with you and figured he can answer when he had more time. Self employment is often more stressful than regular employment. Please chill and let the poor guy reach out to you. Listen to a meditation or run around the block.
Phillygirl
Holy crap, some of these post sound like the OP needs a straight jacket. You say one second everything is great, and just another second later you want to lose your sh%t on the guy for not responding quickly enough.
Either you are completely unbalanced, or things are not nearly so perfect and you left out a ton of detail.
Which is it, because this reaction of yours is definitely not proportionate to your perceived offense.
I have a young son. When he is ready to date I weep for what he will encounter. I have taught him to be a good and honest communicator and to be respectful towards girls and treat them well. I told him never to accept less in return.
If my son ever dates someone who can’t communicate like an adult or just looses their mind over trivial nonsense, or thinks is ok to punish him without even trying to talk like an adult…I will tell him to run and never look back.
Gemma
Thanks b and it’s cool
I am so tired and I want to sleep so bad but at the same I am so agitated that I can’t. And I have work tomorrow. I wanted to see him tonight as well as I missed him but now I just feel so angry that I am considering ending things with him.
Amanda
If this is the first time he has missed a text message in 9 months he seems like a good guy. If it becomes a habit then that is an issue. But geeze give the dude a break. Have you ever considered he read it while he was in the middle of something and then just forgot? You say, “and now he goes and does this” as if he cheated or something. Relax. Let it go. Don’t text him until he texts you. And do not get in the habit of monitoring whether he is online. This is BAD for many reasons. I leave my computer open and go and do stuff and it says I am “online”. Those updates and social media monitoring are not very accurate. Besides, he could be doing work “online”. Like basically, everything important is done online these days so just because he is online does not mean he is fooling around. It is a super intrusive feeling to think someone is monitoring your computer activity and judging you for it. You need to chill.
Gemma
Phillygirl Things have been good as I know that’s why I am so annoyed. Obviously he has a reason why he is not messaging me back and clearly it’s not a good for us.
peggy
Genna-if you have been in a “serious relationship” for 9 months-then why not send another text after a few hours and say “Hellloooo? lol” or text and say goodnight,whatever-why do you suddenly think he is ghosting you. Either you are super insecure/immature or you are not telling the whole tale.
b
why are you annoyed? why would he be ignoring you? did you get into a fight? has he been shady?
NO!
he’s been a perfectly wonderful boyfriend, so WHERE is this unhealthy need to hear from him asap coming from? that’s a control tactic when there are trust issues + self esteem problems. do you think he’s sleeping with someone else, cheating on you? no?
then leave him be. a little room to breathe is healthy in any relationship. if these are your expectations, i seriously fear for your ability to have a happy, healthy relationship with anyone moving forward.
how about instead of obsessing over your perfectly polite, kind boyfriend who’s been great the last 9 months — instead of being on the verge of a break because he hasn’t responded to a TEXT MESSAGE quickly enough — how about instead of being a total basketcase over nothing, you take time to do something for YOU? go on a walk or a run. cook a meal. watch something on netflix, grab a drink with friends. LIVE YOUR LIFE.
Gemma
Why is everyone here is assuming I am hiding something.
This is the first time he actually pissed me off.
He has been on and offline few times since my message and he is clearly replying to other people than me which shows he is disregarding me.
b
he’s free to do what he wants in his free time. he prob is talking to other people – so what? that’s what human beings do. we maintain several relationships with diff people.
unless you haven’t heard from him later this evening, you have no right to be pissed off. he hasn’t done anything wrong. he doesn’t have to answer to you as to what he’s doing with his free time (unless you have reason to distrust him).
i read messages from people all the time — boyfriends, friends, family members, coworkers.. and sometimes i don’t reply to each one immediately. doesn’t mean i’m not going to, it just means i’m doing my own thing and will get to it when i can.
also, stop stalking his online status. seriously effing creepy and you are coming off as a very insecure, needy woman. go do something for you and stop with this.
Phillygirl
We are saying that you are either acting completely inappropriately based on what happened, OR you are leaving out details.
Re-read what you wrote as if it were reading a strangers situation. You sound completely mental and your reaction is over the top if he’s done nothing else.
Maybe it says he read your message but he didn’t see it. It’s happened to me. If he is so wonderful most of the time, then your response to this situation is unhealthy and not normal.
That is what we are telling you. Are you always like this, sheesh. You are behaving like a lunatic.
Gemma
It is just frustrating and very helpful actually, and to make it worse he posted on Facebook three hours ago.
Gemma
Hurtful it mean to read.
Suzie
Okay Gemma I won’t necessarily agree with you but I won’t disagree either.
Here’s the thing, the way your guy is acting, my ex displayed such behavior towards me too.
Whenever I wasn’t able to get back to him during the day and saved everything for us to talk at night he would refuse to communicate with me. It was his way I punishing me for “ignoring” him all day, for not making him a priority.
The first time he did it to me it left me paranoid as you are, because you’re not use to him being like this. He never had to be online and not talk to you before does he? No. He always send a quick txt to indicate that’s he’s into something important right now just to let you know. But now he isn’t doing that.
It’s a form of manipulation. Now I may be wrong and the others are right. But if you know this doesn’t feel right you are not crazy. He is angry at you and taking he’s taking his sweet revenge. My advice to you, don’t give him the satisfaction. He doesn’t want to talk? then let him be. Don’t get angry, don’t get worked up about it. Don’t get carried away to making this a revenge. Just calm yourself down, you say you’re tired. Gal go offline and get your beauty sleep. Leave this man alone.
It could be nothing. But my advice work both ways. Tomorrow he may address things to you or he may be his old self and you guys can talk better without stirring up an argument.
Emma
Gemma, if this is the first time he ignored your text than maybe he just forgot? He thought he replied but he didn’t. I seriously doubt he is disrespecting you, he’as been nice to you consistently as you yourself said.
When you meet him, ask him he saw your text. Sometimes you get several texts at once, read them quickly and start replying and then forget about one, because it is nothing important or because you want to type up a longer response later.
Do ask him, say you were surprised not to receive a reply from him, he’d be more attentive next time.
You seriously over-reacting! Wanting to block your BF over ONE unanswered text. What if he hangs up on you one day? You’d want to shoot him? LOL
Stop acting like a prime minister in waiting, ask him and be nice about it. He is a nice guy remember? LOL
Gemma
Suize you might be on to something. I have read his message on Tuesday and didnt reply only because it didn’t need one. And messaged me in the morning normal. And I have not been giving much attention this week as much I normally do.
Even today even tho I do miss and I wanted to see him, I only send that message because I felt I was kinda neglecting him.
So I don’t know if you’re right and he is playing some kinda game with me now.
The difference between my message and his, is that my message required answer where his didn’t, if that makes sense.
Emma thanks I don’t think I am over reacting, this is out of character so I am shocked. And yes I am considering confronting him or ending it with him.
Gemma
And Emma lol I wanna to shoot him now, getting hanging up a phone on me.
So ladies I am not sending a follow up message, I am gonna leave it until the weekend and see what he does.
Will definitely update you thanks a lot XAmanda
Gemma you have not answerd our question: Has it occurred to you that HE MAY HAVE FORGOT? Ever hear of giving people “the benefit of the doubt?” It is what nice people do to people they care about.
Ashley
I think you’re majorly overreacting over one text & blowing this way out of proportion. It’s possible for someone to open a text & forget to reply. I’ve hit things unintentionally on my phone while moving around. It’s only one text, I would just assume it wasn’t intentional or malicious.
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