This topic contains 49 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by redcurleysue 1 day, 11 hours ago.
May 16, 2018 at 5:40 pm #702765
I was seeing this guy for some weeks and finally we slept together after we cuddled for 2 hours in front of the tv then i left cause we were thursday and we worked early the next day. He told me to text him when i was home which i didnt do. The next morning at 11am he seny : you didnt even told me you arrived safe at home. I told him that i forgot i was so tired i fell asleep as soon as i was home.
He said ok i see . Then i tried to be a little freaky like we always used to do like sexting etc. He was cold with only short answer like mmhhh :p. I felt like he was simulating. Like he didnt liked yesterday night and no mention when i said i cant wait to do this again. Just to test him when i fell he was more receptive which he was a lot before that night. He joked saying you were a bit shy (he wanted to do anal) i said its normal for a first time he joked saying « i know i was just testing you ;) » then i said maybe i can show you tonight ;) he said really cold : tonight i cant. I said ok. He replied 2 hours later : soooooorrrry ! I said its ok imma go out have dinner ;) he said : enjoy it its the week end ! I asked him what he is up to ? He said : eating with a friend (its was 10pm) i joked saying : at that same moment you could have eat something else ahah and he just replied : ahaha sshhhhhhh. Then i said too bad i was about to send you my outfit of tonight ;) and he never replied its been 5 days now. What should i do ?
I want to write him but im scared he run off more. I feel insecure and sad that maybe he didnt like sex with me and i felt it wasnt a guy friend and he did the same evening as we did the previous night. I dont know what to think if he enjoyed it he must want to do it again quick…. im lost what should i do ?
May 16, 2018 at 6:03 pm #702768
Leave him be… Sounds like he’s just after sex.May 16, 2018 at 6:08 pm #702769
Hi-Sorry,this guy seems to have just wanted sex or just sex the way he wanted it. I would stop contacting or texting him. He is putting no effort in and you sound like you are pitching to be his booty call. I doubt that is really what you hope for.May 16, 2018 at 6:15 pm #702770
If he is just after sex why is he not responsive to me teasing him want to do it again ?May 16, 2018 at 6:38 pm #702773
I think he will be in contact.
Tell me, do you want a relationship with this man or just sex?May 16, 2018 at 6:40 pm #702776
Because he got what he wanted & is moving on…May 16, 2018 at 6:46 pm #702777
Trust me, he will be in contact when HE’s horny. He sees you as a sex buddy and if that’s all your looking for then JUMP when he contacts you again but expect to be benched until he’s horny again and as no other offers.May 16, 2018 at 7:02 pm #702781
Not getting a good vibe from a guy who pushes for anal the first time! Not wanting to do that is not being “shy”. Most women really would never consider anal for first time sex… (I’m not anti anal, done it a few times but only with a partner I really really love and trust and who is gentle and who I know is clean, etc).May 16, 2018 at 7:05 pm #702782
Wow why is he contacting me when he will be horny with no better offer? Why will i be last choice?May 16, 2018 at 8:18 pm #702802
Because when YOU LEAD with sex, it’s about sex!!!
Men love sex and if a woman is offering it up on a silver platter, like you are, he’ll gladly take it.
You CANNOT sex men into relationships!!! They are not hardwired that way and will only get into a relationship IF they meet the woman they WANT TO get into a relationship with. It is NOT based on sex but how a woman conducts herself in the way she talks and acts, To be bluntly honest, your talking like a call girl and it’s totally turned him off.May 16, 2018 at 8:26 pm #702804
Sorry im talking like a call girl? We have dates for like 3 months we finally have sex after a period of sexting and he always said he loves when im talking like that and do it so. So why is it inappropriate to continue after we had sex ?May 16, 2018 at 8:53 pm #702809
It’s not inappropriate… However, you are getting nothing I. Return.May 16, 2018 at 9:02 pm #702811
I highly suggest you get smart on dating, your method doesn’t work, at least long term.
Read the “love advice” articles here on new mode; buy Eric’s (founder of a new mode) e-book “He’s not that Complicated” and also buy (or borrow) the book “How to Think like a Man but Act like a Lady” and “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus (differences in how the sexes think) as your going about it entirely the wrong way! As a side note: other’s have mentioned the book “Why men love bitches”, I personally haven’t read it or its contents but its talked about on here so adding another book to your dating arsenal can’t hurt.May 16, 2018 at 9:55 pm #702814
Correction: The book is “Act like a Lady, Think like a Man” (by Steve Harvey)May 17, 2018 at 7:30 am #702831
Its been a week nowMay 17, 2018 at 8:17 am #702838
How on earth did anyone get call girl out of this? Sounds like they dated for a few months and she’s finally had sex with him. Jeez. I see most of the women on here sexting with men and no to get called prostitutes. So much for the thread someone’s started about having empathy and being kind to people on this forum. Seems the same people preaching how bad other people are, are some of the same people shaming women on hereMay 17, 2018 at 8:35 am #702841
3 months of dating is a pretty solid amount of time for a guy who is just after sex to wait. If it was 3 months of regular dates and communication, I would not say she is leading with sex.
I’d lay off the sexy talk and back off.
In the future, if a guy you have been dating asks you to text him that you got home safe, do it. He may have interpreted that as some game playing on your part. Guys are insecure after sex as well.
It’s actually hard to tell what is up. If you look back, and it was honestly 3 months of GOOD dates, not just making out on the couch, but going out, dinners, drinks, movies, texting that is not sexting regularly, I’d sit down and have a chat with him. This kind of treatment is sadly uncommon, but for a guy to invest 3 months and be that cold is odd.
That said, I doubt this is going anywhere.May 17, 2018 at 8:36 am #702842
*sadly commonMay 17, 2018 at 8:44 am #702843
I think sexting before you have sex is a mistake. It sets the tone of the relationship to be sexual. I think men need to have respect to take a woman seriously and that’s quite difficult if you’ve been sexting because you’re making the wrong part of his anatomy expand. You want it to be his brain and heart, not between his legs! You want him to be menatally stimulated when he talks to you, not physically. You got freaky by sexting so he was probably expecting a lot more than you were willing to give him. I imagine you talked about anal so he thought you would want to do it?
Also, he’s going to wonder how many men you do this with and how often.
Also, always after sex, the relationship has changed. Trying to sex him back into your bedroom isn’t the way. You didn’t text him back when you agreed to and then you lead with sex again. I would say that would be a turn off for most men. He’s going to think you just want sex. Why not just say you had an amazing night with him and you’d love to see him again?
You came off as quite sexually aggressive and not serious. Maybe he did just want sex but he did follow up the next day, so who knows?
I can actually get the call girl analogy because you marketed yourself as someone you’re not. You need to gain the confidence not to lead with sex and to be yourself. Show some heart and vulnerability. Tell a man what you really want, which isn’t sex, anal and oral is it? It’s a man you can love.May 17, 2018 at 9:51 am #702853
Oh gee whiz. It was MY OPINION based solely on what she wrote. Sorry but she sounded more like a call girl (those who talk dirty/sexual over the phone) v. a lady being courted by a gentleman. I called it like I saw it and hopefully made her aware how she’s coming across and its not the way to get or keep a man interested long-term. I’m no prude however if this was my daughter and I saw her talking that way to a man I would tell her the same thing and try to steer her in the right direction.
Sadly, young ladies (and men) no longer have positive mentors or role models guiding them through the minefields of dating to today. With so much sexual content out there today, its the message their receiving and believing sex is the pathway to a man’s heart—it is not.May 17, 2018 at 11:11 am #702857
But i dont deserve the no contact treatment like i did something wrong! Tomorow it will be a full week without a single message from him .(i didnt write to him neither)May 17, 2018 at 11:12 am #702858
We are both 32 years old come onMay 17, 2018 at 11:18 am #702860
HI Lina- I don’t think you sound like a call girl, (all due respect to Lane, who I think overall gives great advice!). You waited quite a long time to sleep with him!!! 3 months!!
I will admit I totally sexted with my BF before we met! (in part because it was long distance). We are in totally love and very serious about each other. THAT BEING SAID I do think it is *generally* a bad idea. My boyfriend is a total sweetheart, totally NON player type and I got very lucky indeed as I was, yes, kinda leading with sex, or maybe not leading with it, but certainly throwing it into the mix. It just so happened because we have a ton in common and are very intellectually compatible etc, that it worked out. So do as I say, and not as I do, haha! If I were dating again I probably wouldn’t do this.May 17, 2018 at 11:41 am #702866
“But i dont deserve the no contact treatment like i did something wrong! Tomorow it will be a full week without a single message from him .(i didnt write to him neither)”
Pick up the phone. Call him. Voice your concern about his distance after you two slept together. Try and keep it as emotionless as possible.May 17, 2018 at 12:08 pm #702871
No of course you don’t deserve it! No one does.
You wanted one thing and he wanted something different.
It doesn’t sound like you talked about what you wanted though, apart from sex? If that’s what you talk about, that’s what he’s going to think you want.