He lied about his age

Yeah this is a tough one. I would bet he lied because he wanted younger women and thought ( rightly) that many women in the age group he wanted would think he was too old. Besides the lie, it would bother me that he is an “old Guy” but he thinks women his age are too “old “for him..maybe he will want to trade you in for a “younger model”,ten years from now. If you proceed,do it with upmost caution and what his words and actions before you get in too deep.

I profoundly disagree with each and every one of the previous comments for the following reasons (and yes, I was in a very happy relationship with a guy who shaved 8 years of his age online):
– Just because he lied about his age does not mean he lied or will lie about anything else because he did not lie to YOU. He was most likely pressured into doing it for online dating profile because his pals told him he would never get any attention if he reveals his age. It was a very abstract act and society has everything to do with it. It is in no way reflecting his personal values. And wasn’t he right after all? If he had not lied about his age, you would not have met as you probably had upper age way below his real age. That’s what happened to me and man, am I happy my guy listened to his mate’s advice!
– Just because he is looking for a younger woman now does not mean he is going to be looking for one in a few years’ time. I happen to like older guys, he may be into younger women. My former partner was into older women. We all have our preferences. There may also be a reason for him to date a younger woman, he may want to start a family… pretty impossible to do with a woman his age. These are the things that need clear communication, not a knee jerk reaction.

I understand how you are feeling. I felt the same way and, having reflected on it, I now understand why. I entered this relationship thinking there is a possibility of a future together, maybe having kids, doing a bit of travelling, building a home. When I was faced with the reality, it was not the lie in itself that knocked me sideways but what it had meant for MY plans. But I made these plans independently of a person, he never promised me his things whether he was 41 or 49… It was my fantasy. And what we needed to do is to talk about these fundamental issues.
We have had the most amazing time together, he was kind, supportive, incredibly sexy, youthful, full of energy and zest for life and I never mistrusted him. He gave me no reason to think he was ever dishonest about anything else in his life. But our plans when it came to having children were different. I wanted to have an option of maybe having kids one day whereas he didn’t want to be an old dad. I respect that. We parted beautifully after 5 months of sheer bliss together.

The point is, age IS only a number but you cannot get away from the fact that you MAY have different views on your future together. This is something only communication can solve. Communication, communication, communication! Honest and constructive discussion about your needs and his needs. Please don’t have a knee jerk reaction. Understand why you feel the way you feel and find a way to discuss it with him. If you can’t move mast it, thank him for a lovely trip and move on. But don’t see it as a step that arose from mistrust or as “cutting your losses”. There is no need for such negative language and attitude, it will only hurt you in the long run.

Have you asked him what he would do if you lied about your age and are in fact 10 years older? I doubt he would be fine with it

I think you’ve posted about this before, same exact story. It was posted 1-2months ago I believe.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by ANM Staff. Reason: Fixed wrong name

Newbie, yes I think that’s what happened.

I also agree, not telling the truth about your age is immature and deceitful. I’d move on to another guy. At 48yrs he should know better by now so he doesn’t sound like good company to keep.

Never posted this before. Just found out a bit of time ago.
I think for me, it was the future thoughts of a future together and finding out his age changed my made up dreams. I do worry about what else he could lie about, but at the same time we do have a strong connection. I am going to take it day by day and just see how it’s goes and just continue to have fun

Sara, the same thing happened to me! It is possible we saw the same guy? What’s your location?

BTW to be clear: the problem isn’t that you have different needs, but that he thinks so little of you as to ignore them. This will come up again and again and again and again.

I responded when it was on the ‘new’ list on the side. I was giving advice. Not talking about some new guy. The advice is free for any who need to read it.

Sara, don’t lie to yourself. As you can see, Ana also parted with that guy after 5 months. You came here because the age is a dealbreaker for you. I’ll tell you plainly, the ‘age gap’ is something that you will always fight about. Always. If you choose him, be ready for this.

Yes I was wondering if it is the same guy. As he lied about being 38 but was really 48, took me on little get aways around September. May be a crazy coincidence. I’m in Canada btw.

I was talking to a guy who claimed to be 38 and was really 48. I just stopped talking to him. F–k you, poor shallow dude, date women your own age.