Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › He is sexting, but I want more
- This topic has 14 replies and was last updated 6 years, 1 month ago by
Lil.
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SS
Urgent please,
The past weekend I started texting this guy whom I secretly had a crush on for a long period of time. He works as a graphic designer so he is a visual person. It all started normal, getting to each other more until he mentioned cuddling and I carried the whole thing along. We started sharing intimate details (we dont go for sex, I already expressed I didnt want sex, just cuddles) To me, am hypothetically saying I want to cuddle with him and do all those details. We shared very few pictures (since he is a visual) I shared a picture of my flat stomach and neck and thats it. I wasnt wearing my pants and shirt and thats it (Count as part of sexting?) He never shared any pics of his genitals and neither did I (Never going to do that). I personally enjoy talking to him, but he wants me to send more pics and I cant do that.
I dont simply want to keep texting him back and forth, I want to meet up with him. I want to get to know him more, outside the whole thing. I didnt tell him that and he never expressed an intention to meet me. I already know that when you sext, there is no way back. He is not going to see me anymore than a sexting buddy!I keep teasing him, tell him to give up, but he says he wants to see more and he is serious. I cant do that, but I dont want to lose him too. If I tell him to stop, he will lose interest in me for good.
What should I do? Does he actually feel like that?
Lane
Texting is the devil of dating. Really try to stop using so early as it can easily become a dead end trap. Stop engaging in the sex as I think he may already put you in the “sex box”. Thing you need to know about guys is they categorize woman pretty quickly and put them in boxes, e.g., friend only, sex buddy/FWB, or potential girlfriend/wife.
Need to know which box he put you in the beginning or you’ll just be spinning your wheels, like you are here, trying to get him to go a place he’s not willing to go with you. Try pulling back and if he asks why just let him know you don’t want to be someone sex buddy. If he stops contacting you keeps trying to engage you in sex so he can “conquer you” then move on, only then will you know what his true intentions are with you.
Flower
But Lane, dont you think he kind of made it clear, what his intentions are already? Or is it that a guy who wants nothing but sex at the beginning can change his mind and respect you?
Raven
Have you two had a date?
SS
I will stop textimg him. I am not keeping my hopes high that he will somehow change how he looks at me! We never had a date, Raven, just texting
lucy
Hi, i have a friend and all he wants to do when he texts me is send pictures. We have exchanged a few but nothing to big on my part but definately on his. I really like him and i want a dating relationship but i am not sure if he only wants to be sexting buddies or he wants a relationship too. Sometimes he calls me beautiful or cutie and he also sends me heart eyez but i dont know if this is just to butter me up so i will send pictures or he actually wants a relationship too. Please help if you can
hannah
Lucy I’m sorry but he only wants the pictures. If he’s not asking you for dates or interested in how you are and how your life is going, he just wants the pictures. Emojis and calling you a cutie means nothing. Like.you say, it’s to get you to send the pics!
Ashley
I’m in college but I wanted to ask anyway. This guy that I was pretty good friends with and that I had a crush on last semester, started randomly texting me about 2 weeks ago. To start with we texted like friends that were catching up. Then this past week he started acting different like asking me what color underwear I had on. And he started asking me for pictures, and sending me some of him. I sent him and few but known completely nude. Now it’s like that’s all he wants is pictures. He doesn’t talk to me at school, he just makes eye contact then looks away. So should I just ditch him and move on???
redcurleysue
Holy Moly.
Can a man hold you when you are hurting through nude pix?
C’mon girls. What are you doing?
Do you want love or some fetish guy?
Kay
@Ashley, no question, ditch him and move on. He doesn’t even want to talk with you in person.
Kim
For the past five days, I’ve been talking to a man through an online dating site. He seems really nice. We live in different states and we haven’t met yet. He stated that he wants something exclusive; he’s kind of been bringing that up since the beginning of our conversations. He’s also asked for my phone number like on the second day of us chatting. I didn’t give it to him because I felt it was way too early. Anyway, we have decided to explore the possibility of being exclusive, barring us finding out something crazy about the other (I don’t have any skeletons in my closet, but if he does, then I told him depending on what it is, we cannot be exclusive).
Lately, he’s been sexting me a lot. It literally feels like every message from him is sexual…either talking about what he directly wants to do with my body or talking about how beautiful our babies would be! Even when I try to steer it away from sex, he gets right back to it. I don’t mind the once in a while mildly talking about sex, but he has literally went all the way via our chat messages (like he told me that he “finished” after one of our steamy sex chats). It bothers me because I’m starting to feel like he doesn’t want a real relationship, he just wants to get off. I don’t want to be a sexting buddy.
Any thoughts?
Raven
Come on!
You’re States away, you’ve not met & all you’re doing is sexting…What do YOU think…
sarah
To me it sounds like you are a sexting buddy so far… he sounds gross! you haven’t even met the guy and he basically tells you he masturbates to your txts. a creep I would get rid off immediately.
Arch Stanton
Who here agrees with me that the Internet has thrown a spanner into both dating and male and female expectations of each other? I believe firmly that you should pick someone from your own locality no more than a maximum of 30 miles from where you live.
I can’t believe that Americans are trying to establish relationships with people who live 500 or a 1000 miles away!Lil
@Arch Stanton, totally agree, internet/social media has made dating and relationship more complicated than it should be
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