He goes limp?

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This topic contains 17 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  anon 1 week, 1 day ago.

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  • #690964 Reply


    So, im seeing this guy, i’m in my mid 20’s and he’s 43.
    We tried to have sex for the first time… and he was hard thru all foreplay…but when he entered me it got limp? And he tried to change many condoms etc and we kept trying, but it just gets hard for a few min then goes limp … then he blamed in on the condom, or that he cant feeling anything …inside of me? is it really me? 🙁 ( ( Is he not telling me something …here? he found me very attractive and nice body… maybe performance anxiety? or his age? anyone?

    #690967 Reply


    This is about him and not you.

    He was probably nervous, stressed, or worried. These things happen sometimes.

    Next time you try take it slow, keep the sexy talk up, and be encouraging.

    If, it continues to happen perhaps he needs to consult with his doctor.

    #690968 Reply


    This actually happened with me and my bf in the early stages.. whenever he would try to put a condom on he couldn’t stay hard like at all.. it’s actually pretty common. It takes a while to put them on and can be frustrating. Maybe try putting it on for him? If you know how! Other than that it’s definitely not you since he wants to have sex with you lol

    #690970 Reply


    It truly felt like he was trying to put the blame on me since he said, it has never happend before, or he can’t feel anything, but didnt say it directly, more like condoms, it’s dry etc etc . . . i’m not sure how to feel :/ he tried to sleep with me a few times now…and we both wanted it, but it seems to not work out… is it because of his age? it’s more common to get limp etc?

    #690972 Reply


    Age could be a factor for sure. It is not you dear, you are in your 20s, any guy in his age would kill to have a young woman for sex. i can’t believe he tried to blame you for it..

    his tool is just not working.

    #690977 Reply


    Trust me. It has happened to him before!

    #690985 Reply

    Amy S

    it was probably just his nerves as it was the first time. It was very bad form of him to blame you, I mean come on ?? But to give him the benefit of the doubt he was probably mortified about this. And its defo not his age so dont worry about that. My guy is in his 60s and has zero problems in that dept. x

    #690987 Reply


    I remember you posting about him before. Yes I think age is a factor. Testosterone declines from the age of 30, so that will definitely have an influence.

    I’ve had plenty of female friends experience this with older partners. Often, condoms do make it worse and some men do go limp just putting one on. Definitely not your fault!

    Condoms decrease sensation. Maybe he’s not used to wearing them with previous partners so he’s not used to the milder sensation? Or maybe he’s been masturbating a lot? Men tend to get used to the more vigorous hand stimulation and can’t feel much when they have regular sex.

    He said you were dry? Were you not aroused?

    #691061 Reply


    Yes, i was very aroused and wet..and he felt like it was “easy” to slide in or something and he couldn’t feel it … but as soon he did enter me it got sort of limp …and i didn’t “feel” anything while he was trying to have sex…so he did chang a few condoms that same night. ..and it didn’t work… i’m pretty sure he makes me feel it’s my fault…and i’m not sure i even wanna try again – he said,that we should wait and try in a few days or so… :/

    #691331 Reply


    Hi again all,

    So we tried again last night – and same thing happend, he just couldn’t get it to stay hard… i’m really concerned right now … he claims it’s has never happened before only with me 🙁 not sure where to go from here? Stop seeing him… can’t clearly work out? I also believe that’s what’s his in for ..the sex only?

    #691408 Reply


    It’s his age. I’ve dated older men, too-40’s and up and they all seem to have the same sort of problem. Don’t let him make you feel bad–it’s his problem not yours. If you believe that’s all he’s in for-the sex–and he can’t even do that–I would dump him.

    #691421 Reply


    Adriana, if you really like him, why don’t you very tactfully suggest he see a Dr? A viagra will sort this whole mess out.

    #691422 Reply



    Been there and done that and after trying to keep him up long enough to have sex I got bored, a sore arm from trying to stimulate him and at one point a sore jaw from the same. It’s to do with age, probably nerves as well. Trust me it has happened before and will probably happen again.
    If you like him etc and it’s not a big deal then go with the flow otherwise dump him and move on!

    #692063 Reply


    i”M sorry but i’m a 40 year old woman who has had sex with men in their 40’s and that has NEVER happened. In fact I find they stay harder, LONGER…
    I’m not saying it’s you, definitely not. It’s HIM. BUT do not blame his age…Men in their 40’s are amazing…with knowledge and stamina that comes with years of practice =)

    #692074 Reply


    LIANNA, you know some of those men popped a pill before you had sex right, especially if they were harder for longer than a 20 year old. Either that or you were lucky!

    40% of men have some erectile dysfunction by the time they’re 40. The ability to maintain an erection starts to decline for all men by the age of 20.

    #692076 Reply


    Your poor girl!! Don’t let this dork traumatize you and give you a complex.

    “This has never happened before”…such a lie, I can’t believe you believe him. Every guy has had some ED issues at least once or twice, hung over, tired, jealous, whatever..Of course it has happened before.

    I don’t know what you feel for him, so I am curious what makes your stick around? LOL haha..

    You are in your 20s, you don’t need this ED crap.

    #692959 Reply


    Hi ya,’ll some updates;

    So yes, we have tired 5 times by now – same issue – so last week we tried again, and i could tell something was strange, he was hard for a long time, i kept asking how come, but he didnt really answer me – i guess he took a pill – but i some how lost interest and we didnt end up having sex.

    He even confessed he would never date women his age, only up to 29 or so. I’m starting to think that’s all he’s looking for – sex – but also company, he invites me all the time to his home and pays for dinners etc… i’m not sure where this is going after 1.5 month sooon…

    He comes from a wealthy background too, i don’t and i wonder what he wants… i’m all so confused and not sure how to do this …

    #693026 Reply


    It’s not your fault at all. He could have any number of issues- a lot of things from age to drug use can cause ED. That he always dates much younger women… he is probably pretty insecure. Lotsa guys that age who fear getting older, date much younger as a solution. He was probably f’ing a woman his age, failed to get it up and decided it was her fault not his.

    He probably wants a fun toy to make him feel young. You can either have fun, make him keep buying you dinner or move on. But it’s probably not leading to a loving marriage and family.

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