He broke up with me and now acts like he hates ME


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  • #371480 Reply
    Victoria

    Long story short. My boyfriend and I lived together for 6 months together 9months. He broke up with me because of my insecurities. Fine. He said he needed space and that he doesn’t want to see anyone anytime soon if ever. Okay being over dramatic but I took it as though he’s not looking. Well to pick up my stuff he was acting weird towards me. After a pretty friendly break up (he even cried) things just felt like he could care less about me. I found out he’s on a free dating site talking to girls who I thought weren’t his type (piercings of the lip and tongue. When I jokingly Asked about those he said they were trashy) anyways, he said he’s not talking or seeing anyone but he’s allowed to look around. Very true. I just don’t get how you can love me and say you need space and cry over me leaving and be so nice and act really hurt and claim you care so much about me then turn around and treat me like crap?
    He even talked his friends fiancé into approving me for an apartment in his township (he’s a cop) and when she called me she said he had nothing but nice things to say. I know I shouldn’t care but I still love him. I just hate who he’s become. It seems like he’s acting out. Any ideas or suggestions? Anything to help me see it from a different perspective. Not just one where I want him back so I make excuses for his actions. Thanks.

    #371481 Reply
    Amelia

    Hi Victoria,
    I’m sorry you’re going through this.
    This happened to me with my ex. It got really bad between us and I broke up with him. I came to pick up my stuff (I had specifically told my ex to stay away but he came anyway) and he moped and cried while I was getting my stuff but I was over it.

    He is a free agent now, he can do what he likes. I personally did this to my ex because I needed to make a boundary for myself which is what he may be doing.

    Actions speak louder than words, if he’s treating you like crap but saying he loves you then you need to move on. NO CONTACT whatsoever.

    #371482 Reply
    Sherri

    I don’t like the fact that he is judgement about those girls. My respect for such guys goes down the drain

    #371486 Reply
    buttercup

    They tell you, at the time, what they think will hurt less. Of course being dumped always hurts though. But they try to soften the blow by telling you they want to be alone.

    My guy dumped me in august, telling me he wanted space, needed to be alone and was not looking to replace me. Said he still had love for me too.

    3 weeks later he was engaged to someone else. He was mucking about online too.

    It hurts a lot. Within one week I went from being told he’d be devastated if he lost me, to him chatting to a girl online and dumping me within 24 hrs of talking to her. Proves he was never that invested in me if if he could throw me away just like that.

    Dont contact him at all. Very hard to do I know. Every contact we had since messed my head big time. Disappear from his life.

    Within days these men, who claim they love us, turn into cold, heartless men that we dont even recognise.

    Your gonna be hurt, devastated, and eventually get really bloody angry.

    I know exactly how you feel. Hugs x

    #371492 Reply
    stefanie

    Two sets of two words:

    1) IT’S OVER
    2) NO CONTACT

    #371666 Reply
    Victoria

    Wow buttercup im so sorry to hear that! xx you’ll find someone so much better! Trust me :)
    Thank you all. That all really helps! After he broke up with me I made the mistake of reaching out a few times and try for another chance. I’m done with that. I’m so much better than that. I’m not contacting him at all. But you’re all right that he tried to ease the pain by telling me what he thought Id want to hear. It’s over and I need to face that. Someone better is out there for me and for all of you too! Thank you again!!

    #371703 Reply
    Ivy

    I would like to suggest to you to get to know a man a lot more than 3 months before sharing a residence with him. I can’t imagine knowing someone that well that early on to make me feel comfortable enough to live with the man. Go slower next time, first you don’t know someone until you are with them for a year. People show their true selves right at 3 months. People don’t even know their feelings for several months sometimes. And to me 3 months ins’t enough time to have trust for a man with my residence, finance, time, heart.

    I know that wasn’t your question but it does really have a lot to do with early dating and how invested you become in a man before giving so much to him.

    This is not who he’s become, this is who he is. Go no contact with him. Then work on yourself, not because you aren’t already fabulous as you are…because your insecurities might not allow you to recongnize how fabulous you already are. Insecurities can kill any relationship so you need to work on this first and as you feel more secure with yourself you will find a man who loves you as you are :)

    #525984 Reply
    Gummybear ????????

    So My ex and broke up About 5 Months ago and we were friends for like 2 Months and then he started Saying All these romours About me and Saying he hates me and he blocked me on everything he knows just how to get on My Nerves and trata exactlly What he does i try to be nice and ignore it but when hes not around i get mad easilly ????????

    #614553 Reply
    esmie

    my boyfriend was cheating we broke up months later we got back together I went to live with him if I ask any question or if something is bothering me n I mention it he immediately starts to yell and fight. the other day he went to a class took 3 hours I text to ask wasn’t class 1 hour he replied that he f**ken hates me he cant stand me and broke up and kicked me out now I’m still in his home but he says he has no feelings for me I don’t get it I’m terribly hurt don’t know what to think or do I try to talk to him I ask if there is someone else he starts yelling gets angry and says you going to f**ken start I’m torn I don’t know how to deal with this pain

    #614559 Reply
    Nat

    Esmie, don’t be torn and don’t deal with this pain. Get angry and leave this guy. He is treating you disastrously. He yells, verbally abuses you, cheats, what else are you waiting for? Physical abuse? If you allow this treatment to continue you will have no one to blame but yourself.

    Do not live with a man without a commitment or better an engagement. Why would you move in with this cheating psycho? Where are your self preservation instincts? You had a preview of life with him, is this what you want for yourself? Get your sh***t together and move out. Go in no contact and do not get back with this guy.

    #625090 Reply
    Amelia

    My ex is dating someone at this moment but he dated her before he dated me. And my ex “best friend” is like a sister to him and also to his girlfriend. So they left me in the shadows and now they call me names because i am mad at my ex “best friend”. But she has betrayed me before yet i forgave her. And my grandpa died. So everything is going bad for me. So long story short my ex hates me and his girlfriend too and now they made a group chat and they are calling me names and telling me things please help

    #625095 Reply
    Amelia

    I try to ignore them but its hard but the good thing is that my ex and his girlfriend go to a different school but the bad one is that my ex best friend and i go to the same school and well she takes away my friends and tells me things please help :( i have also attempted against my life before but now i know i shouldnt do that but now people are taking their side :((

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