Feeling very scared

BTW, Philly, thanks, I hope you know that I am here to share with others and them sharing advice or their stories. Please excuse me if the one thing I do not need now is negativity because that almost led me to ruin this relationship. Some people advised me to stay away from forums and such places where no one has any idea of the situation, which I completely disagree with.

Of course it may happen that things do not end well if be gives me an ultimatum of whether I find my papers or we cannot live together but we did discussed that in Israel and there was no problem, he knows my situation. In other words, sure it can end badly but he has been the best man as a person in my life and I am going to give him a chance, that is all.

Stress and negativity also almost got me in the hospital with an ulcer and I want to be positive about life because fears can be a self fulfilling prophecy.

If I come here that things ended badly, I hope you will not judge me. I trust many of the very nice women on this forum and hope we are here for each other that is all. No one can guarantee a positive outcome in any relationship.

*what if’s not what its

And thanks Newbie, I hope you do not misunderstand me as I am thankful for your comments. Do not mean to be negative towards anyone at all. I appreciate everyone’s opinions.:)))

But i agree, the visit is soon, so the last thing you want to bring is negativity. Maybe its a good time to think what you like to get out of it? A ring, another visit around x mas? I’m really curious. because really that is the hard part, the day you will fly back home.

He got me a ticket for Xmas a few weeks ago. He was really trying and I did not appreciate it enough. He has also done a lot of work behind the scenes that I did not know about as he did not want to talk about them prematurely. I just got real stubborn where nothing was good enough as due to life and work circumstances we could not arrange a meeting sooner, he tried several times.

Now I promise to take a break from my thread.:)))

BTW, I know that this topic is so complicated and that questions are far beyond what a forum can handle but I think I can still profit and benefit from advice and some may be able to profit from parts of this saga, but I actually preferred helping others for a while before posting this thread. It became a monster thread now with sharing stories with Jessica, etc. I decided to keep going for now and figured whoever does not like it, does not have to listen or contribute.

I hope it is still ok and I still try to focus on others mostly.

This forum has helped me tremendously I think. I have visited many and this is by far the best community and advice, articles, resources.

Newbie I would actually love to hear your story, how do you mean it is a catch? Do you have a thread? I think we learn a lot from each other’s experiences and stories. Being carefree is great, I feel that way now.

I know I sometimes read and write too fast, as a former legal field professional I am used to that and writing a lot.:)))

I intentionally did not answer the ring as I did not want to give out our professions.:))) But I already told him I did not expect to get married right now. I just got divorced.

He is writing me messages really caring. He has always wanted to know about my ordeals and to listen even though I often do not want to share as I prefer to not overwhelm but he has been there. Ok I promise I am going onto other threads now, REALLY!

Religion is always an issue for a couple. Sometimes a small issue and sometimes huge….it depends. If he makes his living from religion it becomes a bigger issue.

The question is how will you feel in 5 years if you married this man? If you lived with him everyday how would you feel. That is the question you have to answer for yourself so you can decide what to do. Would you fit into his life and would he fit in yours?

Are you all in or not?

RCS, I have thought about your post because it is food for thought. My answer is that I feel that in relationships both parties have to compromise. So am I all in? Possibly but it is only the beginning. I feel that perhaps we should reach a point of compromise that we are both happy with. And perhaps this is a journey for me where I will be all in. I feel I belong, which is a good sign and I feel at home in this world. No pressure to fit in.

No, he does not work in religion, we both work in a certain business, different levels of it, where at his level it is a very religious world. I am perfectly fine with dressing within limits where I can still be myself, acting in a way that is expected but within a home even if I can keep most rules, maybe there are a few areas where we have to compromise. There are many gray areas in religion.

The other thing is that while I am happy studying religion, it is not my passion. But I am very interested in studying it, especially culture and history, it has interested me since my teenage years and perhaps it will also become a passion. My passion right now is my profession, which is my hobby and also a lifestyle. I want to be able to continue with it if we move together and this is something he has also been working on.

This is what usually happens. Now that I let it go, he is really making an effort, of course that could be cuz he wants to have a good time when we meet.:))) But I really think my point got through. That said guys are so crazy because they never realized what they had until they lose it.

Anyhow I have so much on my head now with the moving and the owner guy I really am starting to dislike. Not a good thing. He is very controlling, a clean freak, I like clean but not like obssessive and he got sour after I was very clear that I have absolutely no interest in hooking up with him.

I do see your point why you did not do it and I do agree that it is incredibly difficult to make it work that way. I did this twice in my life, both times were a disaster, which is also why I think I need to hold my horses but at the same time now many of my friends are all over the world in part due to all my moves so it really does not matter where I live.

Who knows one day yours could work or not. I am not sure I could keep being friends though but guess if you can it is great but just harder to disconnet emotionally then.

This is very very true. See this is why I said that it is not only what he wants but I want to make sure I can make a living on my own, at least continue with my business and we can still cooperate. BUT I relied on men twice albeit for short periods of time and the relationships got completely out of balance. Moving is cool, I can live anywhere too, I am used to it, in fact by now I cannot stay put for too long though I must admit that it would be nice to have some stability sometime soon in my life, I would not mind it with the right person.:))) But as far as adapting I have done it so many times and languages come so easy that it is no biggie. I wish there had been a way for you too but you seem happy and content with what is going on now. That is the main thing. If I could relax and do the long-term LDR sure it would be cool, except I am not sure I can settle for that long-term. In some way I would prefer to, in others not, I want to also be in a good position if we do make a move and not have to rely on him solely.