This topic contains 19 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by FRANCINE 8 months ago.
June 18, 2017 at 4:39 pm #635165
So I’ve been dating this guy for 4 months. We will be exclusive very soon as he’s hinted at it. But I’m dragging my feet. Anyway, sometimes he won’t text me back but I see him on FB messenger. And that annoys me. Then he said he’d give me his IG but still hasn’t then said he has over 800 followers and knows I’ll be asking who the women are. He also told me he once had 2 women message him through DM because he once had a pic of his lips on IG, but has since taken them down. He only told me this because he was with me when an old male friend of mine suddenly reached out to me. The guy I’m seeing then asked if I’d be interested in him if we weren’t together. I said I would not be…
First, why would a man have a pic of his lips on IG, then now respond to messages in his DM. Second, what is he hiding by not giving me his IG? His followers on FB are almost all females btw…June 18, 2017 at 5:07 pm #635171
Sounds like a flirt, maybe pull back and observe his behaviour , don’t text him first at all right now if he’s not texting you back , maybe keep dating others even if it’s just first dates as there could be someone better out there xJune 18, 2017 at 5:21 pm #635173
Not my kind of guy..June 18, 2017 at 5:31 pm #635176
“So I’ve been dating this guy for 4 months. We will be exclusive very soon as he’s hinted at it.”
Hinted at it? By 4 months, a man who’s 100% all in with you or in being in a relationship with should’ve made everything crystal clear that you two are exclusive. Hmm I do feel he’s a flirt and it’s best if you date around until he actually asked you to be his girlfriend or to be exclusive with him.June 18, 2017 at 5:50 pm #635179
Let the guy have some fun…June 18, 2017 at 6:02 pm #635181
You are not exclusive.June 18, 2017 at 6:18 pm #635185
I think you should trust your gut instinct here and sit back abit, not as much to push him away but just to observe like said in previous answer. It sounds a little like bragging to me. On the other hand i had it happen to me and it was the worse senario so maybe im just thinking of my past experience. Dont worry about dragging your feet if your not sure.June 18, 2017 at 6:45 pm #635188
So you’ve been dating 4 months and he hasn’t shared something simple as his instagram? In this day in age? People usually share this even when they’re not dating so there’s something wrong here. I would pass honestly why be with someone that’s not being 100% transparent with you like what else will he hide then? And has hundreds of girls on his fb/instagram, that’s childish. Sounds more like this guy is just trying to have fun rather than settle down in a relationship.June 18, 2017 at 7:00 pm #635196
This guy is spread out too thin for my taste. He is not discriminating that is for sure.
I do not know if he makes good BF material to be honest…I do not get a serious vibe from all this.June 18, 2017 at 7:11 pm #635202
I think you’re reading too much into social media. Once your exclusive (no hinting, he has clearly asked you to establish exclusivity), it’s bad news if he doesn’t let you follow him on social media. Until then, enjoy your real life interactions to him and don’t jump to conclusions based on meaningless things like social media.June 18, 2017 at 7:11 pm #635203
**Once you’re exclusive, not your exclusive. Pardon my grammar mistake!June 19, 2017 at 8:28 am #635287
So he wanted to be exclusive and I said no, I needed more time. He has an ex gf with whom he has a 9 yr old child with. I’m just being very careful. The ex-gf’s from years ago that like every new post of his, kind of bothers me.
Anyway, he will probably ask again to be exclusive, he sees I need more time to observe him…June 19, 2017 at 8:37 am #635289
There used to be a day when you actually dated the man, and not his FB, Snapchat, IG, Twitter, whatsup, or game master character.June 19, 2017 at 11:13 am #635337
I do not understand why women say no to exclusivity but continue to see the guy and then complain that he begins to take liberties. You should always say yes to exclusivity. This will not prevent you from ending things if you want to end them. No “official titles” will stop one person from ending all those titles in one text. This is only to establish certainty between two people in this day and age where everyone is dating and dating incessantly, even when they are already in a relationship! You can’t have a good relationship while you are still dating and looking around. That’s why you either don’t engage with a person, don’t sleep with them or if you do it needs to be exclusive, for the time you are together it needs to be exclusive if you want to have any chance for things to work out. Understand that exclusivity is for your benefit. When you say no to it what do you expect a guy to do? a guy is going to take actions and understandably so.
If he has 800 followers but not adding you he might be hiding something. But you refused exclusivity, you turned him down, so don’t blame him for continuing to look around.
Now when it comes to posting his lips, it is a separate matter and yes I agree, what kind of guy would do that. You have a very valid point here. I would not be dating a guy who does that. You need to decide, you are either in or out. You have something that repulses you then why do you continue? What are you waiting for after 4 months? He is who he is, he thinks is it cute to post his lips and have dozens of women write to him. He is the kind of guy who feeds of this, instead o feeling pathetic and being ashamed. This is not going to change. Stop wasting your time with him.June 19, 2017 at 1:08 pm #635369
So, the pics of his lips are from last year, and he warned me he has fans which he “doesn’t entertain” but one of them is an ex from years ago..
I just feel he has too many women in his life. I don’t stay friends with exes on FB and IG and continue to allow them to comment on my pics. Especially if the time they were together is years ago, as he says. Usually I unfriend my exes on both social medias, because why continue to have the lines of communcation open? Unless you WANT them open.
Anyway, I have to make a decision here. My IG is decent, not many guys, and def no exes….June 19, 2017 at 1:34 pm #635375
This is what dating has come to?
Who cares about an IG, most of the images that people place on there isn’t an accurate representation of themselves.
He sounds a little immature and not ready for a relationship. Who calls their followers fans? Kind of cocky and arrogant sounding to me.
I doubt any of this behavior will change if you become official and you’ll probably be back on here asking if he is cheating or how to get him to clean up his page.
You’re still in the courtship phase, is this a guy you really want to make your boyfriend?June 19, 2017 at 2:00 pm #635386
honestly before al this i was seriously considering it. He’s great with me, and we really get along. Everything is fine.
His IG consists of women ogling his photos, he follows strippers…so many scantily clad women on his page i got disgusted…
He was hesitant to share his IG with me for weeks..and now I see why. His FB has fam on there so he posts decent things. His IG shows me who he really is. Can I ever trust him? My jealousy is taking over…I can’t compete with these women who are ridiculously gorgeous…June 19, 2017 at 2:27 pm #635398
@khadija…you are absolutely correct. @francine, please find you something else to do. All men follow gorgeous women on social media, you’re never going to be able to compete, nor should you be trying to. Do people know how to date? Dating is dating, that means you ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP, WHICH MEANS YOU CAN SEE OTHER PEOPLE. WHY AREN’T YOU DATING OTHER PEOPLE? AND WHAT MAKES WOMAN SO LOYAL TO MEN WHO ARE NOT THEIRS. You young women need to realize that there’s more to life than pinning after one man. No woman should be sitting at home worrying about what a man is doing. Women get men way faster and easier than men, so get on it. LHM…. Have fun, date, and when the right one comes along, you can have a choice.June 19, 2017 at 3:03 pm #635408
If you can’t imagine life without IG then you are screwed. There truly are men out there who have never and never will have fans. Oh wait, those guys are have done graduated from college and have a career and are men, not boys. I know, my one son is 23, a pilot, the other son 21 and top secret government job. They do not participate in IG and have no fans. You are looking in the wrong place for a boyfriend. Social media is so stupid, but most girls today just go with what everybody else is doing. So stick your face in your phone some more.June 20, 2017 at 10:07 am #635683
I’m thinking about just cutting him off..but it’s hard after 5 months..
I don’t want to but him off based on his IG..but honestly, I had a feeling deep down that i wasn’t the only one early on…But then again that could be my own insecurities which I have with every guy I’ve met online..