Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Ex wants to hang out but NOT get back together
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Bella
I was in an off and on relationship for about two years with the first guy I have ever honestly loved. Things were hard because even though he is from the state that I live in, he was away for school the majority of our relationship. Him being 3,000 miles away led to many many fights. He graduated about 5 months ago, but we broke up after a month of him being home. We still stayed in contact after our break up, and we would hang out every now and then, and even tried getting back together. He was stressed about finding a job, and our “relationship” was being neglected so I ended things once again and we stopped seeing each other. Just recently we got back in contact and we’ve been talking and hanging out at least once a week if not more. He has told me though that he doesn’t want us to try for a relationship again. It confuses me a bit because when we hang out we have a GREAT time, It’s always so easy and natural to be around him. We hung out last night, and he already made plans to hang out with me today. I love this boy, and I want more than anything for us to work out. I don’t know what he is trying to do, but in my opinion why would he want to hang out with me all the time if he has no thoughts of getting back together? side note: we are NOT having sex anymore, we aren’t even kissing.
Amy S
You quote “love this boy” and he wants to hang out. You can continue to slowly torture yourself with this or you can tell him you cant do the friends thing because you still have feelings and its too hard. Any decent person would understand and not hang about like this messing with your head. Maybe in time you can be pals but not at the moment. x
Hannah
Amy’s right. He just wants to be friends and you’ll hurt yourself if you are in love with him an accept that. It will make moving on to a better relationship difficult or impossible too.
Khadija
Pull the plug on this right now.
He has clearly expressed no interest in getting back together.
Do you really want to stick around to see him meet someone else? When that happens this hanging out will become non existent and so will the calls.
He is biding time with you. Don’t allow this.
Maybe after you’ve gone a few months of no contact you can be friends but not right now.Sonia
Bella, if I have learned anything from this forum is that when a guy says he does not want to be in a relationship, believe him! He does not want to be in a relationship. You are not allowing yourself to get over him by continuing contact with him. Try to avoid contact with him. He is not going to miss you if you are always there. Believe me I know it’s hard but it’s harder to always be there hoping for a relationship and then you find out that he started dating someone else because now he sees you as just a friend.
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