This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Anon 7 months, 4 weeks ago.
August 28, 2017 at 2:00 am #650782
We were together 3 years. She broke up with me because I took her for granted and got complacent in the last half year. I was selfish and she had had enough.
I begged and pleaded but then went hardcore No contact. A month later..
She texted me last night “Hey. I wanted to apologize to you and any ill feelings you might have towards me. I should have given you more of a chance to talk and I’m sorry. I hope you have a good senior year and you make the best of It”
I responded just now a day later “Hey, thanks for reaching out. There are no ill feelings because I know I did some hurtful things too. I need to apologize as well because I know I was not the best partner and I now recognize where I failed. I did not mean to hurt you in the ways that I did. Hope everything is going good.”
Was this a good response if I want her to continue to think about me in hopes of reconciliation? I felt it was mature and selfless. But I can also see how it relieved her dumpers guilt and could help her move on more. She has not replied and it’s been two days. Do you see her ever reaching out again?
August 28, 2017 at 2:10 am #650784
She was right to dump you for acting that way and she’d be right to never give you a second chance.
I highly doubt you’ve done the work necessary to change the deep-seated reasons why you acted the way you did to cause her to dump you in the first place. People don’t change that quickly or easily and my guess is, you’d be doing the exact same thing again in a very short while, if you do get back together with her.
Take some much needed time apart to work on you and your issues- and this stuff can take years! Before you try to get back together with her or with any new girl. I’ve had plenty of experience with men like you. It’s emotional unavailability at it’s purest. And it’s not okay, ever! It’s extremely damaging and soul-destroying to be on the receiving end of such cold, distant, mean, hot n cold, confusing behavior. It’s not a simple issue, it’s VERY insidious.
So google emotional unavailability, maybe get some therapy to figure out why you do it and start working on you. Cause you can’t fix your relationship with her until you fix you first, ALONE! And she knows that on some level, hence why she’s staying away…August 28, 2017 at 7:46 am #650801
You like her then tell her the truth and no fabrication some pint in the future
Something like you appreciate the past has made you a better man; that has also been one of the best experience you shared with herAugust 28, 2017 at 10:16 am #650831
I feel like sometimes women on this site give men a really hard time when they post a problem.
I think your reply to her was heartfelt and genuine. You’ve obviously been sincere enough to own your side of the street and you’ve acknowledge that it takes two to make or break a relationship. I think the fact that she hasn’t replied means that she is done with the relationship and it’s best if you move on. She ended it so she should be the one to continue to initiate contact. The reality is she may have had some guilt and don’t want it to end so badly. Your response probably gave her the closure that you needed.
Men always tend to realise what they’ve done when it’s too late so this is something you should learn from and move on with your life. If it’s meant to be then you will find your way back to each other. If she wants to rekindle things she will be in touch and rightly so it should be her who makes the first move.August 28, 2017 at 10:58 am #650835
Although it is best for her to make the first move, but there is still a chance that she knows that you are very willing to put work and effort to her not just the relationship.
Some women really need security that you could be there for her needs.