This topic contains 36 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Julie 10 months ago.
August 22, 2017 at 8:59 am #649741
I know it’s wrong.
I’ve been friends with him for years.
He has a 6 year old who is his world.
We began talking every day,about everything.
He spoke about leaving his gf but didn’t know if he could leave his 6 year old and become a part time father.
We were lying in bed,I was just lying in his arms.
He kept kissing my forehead.
We interlinked hands and just lay for hours like that (no sex )
He asked me did I love him?
I said I need to keep my guard up,he said his guard was over his heart.
He then started crying and said he didn’t know how he could not go home to his child every night,he said his dad left him when he was young,and he couldn’t become that man.
He said he didn’t want to let me go and said the thought of me with someone else was too much.
August 22, 2017 at 9:07 am #649744
Sweetie… you have to stop doing this. Even if he does leave to be with you, he will be miserable. I know a guy who did this, left for the other woman, and within 6 months went home. You are going to be get hurt for sure. This must already hurt. You should find someone who is 100% available, this guy will NEVER be more than 50% available. This situation is grossly unfair to everyone involved. You have to find the strength to stop it and move on before it gets worse.August 22, 2017 at 9:09 am #649745
Tell him to work things out with his girlfriend. Maybe take couples counseling.August 22, 2017 at 9:10 am #649746
Whether or not he loves you is irrelevant by the way. He might, but it doesn’t mean anything. Even though you aren’t having sex, this is still an emotional affair. If he can do it to her, he can do it to you, never forget that.August 22, 2017 at 9:17 am #649753
Why would I tell him to take couples counselling?
That’s none of my business.
The selfish part of me doesn’t want him to work things out with the gf.August 22, 2017 at 9:19 am #649754
Then you don’t love him. If you love someone you want what’s best for them.
This situation isn’t going anywhere good Patricia – don’t know what you want anyone here to tell you. You’re having an affair with a guy who is not available.August 22, 2017 at 9:22 am #649756
I think I know in my heart of hearts I will be the one getting hurt.
I keep thinking another week of talking then we will stop then it gets to that week and it’s hardAugust 22, 2017 at 9:23 am #649757
You’re going to have to pull yourself together and tell him you cannot see him any longer and then you have to block him and make it stick. You have to believe you deserve better. You won’t meet someone else with this situation going on.August 22, 2017 at 9:24 am #649758
You have no morals.August 22, 2017 at 9:37 am #649762
Nothing is impossible in this world. He is straight up telling you that he feels bad that he doesn’t go to his daughter at night. You are unintentionally taking a father away from a child. He isn’t going home because of you. He might not go anyways but why do you want to be a reason? Don’t you have conscience? Be a bigger person and tell him that you can’t do this. You can’t be his part time and steal a dad away from a child. He is indirectly telling you that he wouldn’t be able to leave his daughter. He loves you but social aspect and love for the child is stopping him and like one of the posters said, he might leave his gf for you but he is going to be miserable when he will become a part time dad. You are losing from every angle. Now I know you will do what your heart says…but think logically. Taking a pain for max 2 months is better than a lifetime regret.August 22, 2017 at 9:40 am #649764
He means if he left his gf he couldn’t cope with not seeing and going home to his child.
I wish I never fell for him.
Would of been so much easier if I hadn’tAugust 22, 2017 at 9:43 am #649765
Like I said everything is possible. Sometimes we take infatuation as love. You can do it… if it isn’t for yourself or your BF do it for a child. How would you feel if when you’ve a kid…your husband/BF leaves your child for another woman?August 22, 2017 at 9:45 am #649767
You’re involved with a cheater. When you step back and look at it that way, I would hope it would lose its appeal. He’s cheating, you’re cheating. I will say it again, nothing good comes out of this. Take the high road and take back your life that you gave away. At least you haven’t had sex with him yet. It’s up to you to make this right now and stop seeing him.August 22, 2017 at 10:34 am #649776
My daughter cried herself to sleep every night for 3mths when my ex left. If you can live with that on your conscience then go right ahead but just remember that Karma is always around the cornerAugust 22, 2017 at 10:46 am #649782
So do you think people should stay in unhappy relationships for the sake of the kids?
What’s best in the long run?
We have had sex but not for months as it made it feel like we were actually “cheating”
This way it was like we were just friendsAugust 22, 2017 at 11:46 am #649796
No if someone is so miserable they pack their bags and leave. Cowards choose a wrong way and cheat. I wouldn’t even be able to talk to such kinda person. My best friend started cheating on his Wife. When I was having issues with my ex husband I decided to leave. His advice was don’t leave for kids just do whatever you want to do (meaning cheat). I told him I have values and my values tell me not to ever cheat no matter how bad the situation is. How do you know that he is unhapy with his gf? what if shen he goes home he snuggles with her too and is showing you that he is unhappy. This is what cheaters do. Same excuses same way of doing things.
The way you are writing OP, you aren’t going to take any advice. You will continue to do what you are doing till you get hurt really badAugust 22, 2017 at 11:59 am #649800
Yes, HE is cheeting…August 22, 2017 at 12:02 pm #649802
It really doesn’t matter if he loves you or not…
Until he actually leaves this ‘miserable’ relationship, his words are just farts in the wind…
& just remember, he cheets with you, he’ll cheet on you.August 22, 2017 at 12:05 pm #649804
Ah yes, the old ‘we were lying in bed talking about leaving our partners for each other….as friends!’ You are cheating. He is cheating. And this isn’t going to work out the way you want it to, but we all know you’re going to keep trying anyway.August 22, 2017 at 12:18 pm #649807
No staying together is not always best for the child. It depends. But what is never best for anyone is cheating. You are being unbelievably selfish. And yeah, its’ hard. But no one promised doing the right thing is easy.August 22, 2017 at 12:24 pm #649809
“We have had sex but not for months as it made it feel we were actually “cheating.”
Hello???? Wake up girly! It felt like you were actually cheating because you WERE!!! What the F@#K is wrong with you? You’re trying to rationalize what you are doing in your mind and you can’t. It’s wrong however you want to spin it.August 22, 2017 at 1:20 pm #649820
I bet he lies in bed with her every night and holds her hand and has sex. If he isn’t getting it from you, the child isn’t the only reason he stays with her, you are just a side chick. Nothing more. If you want to keep wasting your time with a man who still goes home every night to the same woman he has a child with, knock yourself out, lucky guy has two women who want and will do for him.August 22, 2017 at 1:34 pm #649824
Please stop doing this to yourself.
He is cheating, why would you want such a low quality man?
Do you think if you end up in a relationship, he won’t eventually do the exact same thing to you?
Please tell him it’s over, cut him out of your life and find someone who’s actually available. You know you can’t win this, that you’re going to get hurt, stop the bleeding before it does even more damage.August 22, 2017 at 7:50 pm #649928
You’re both cheaters but he’s the luckier of the two, as he’s sleeping with two women at once, lucky dog!August 22, 2017 at 8:11 pm #649935
Say he doesn’t leave her, who do you think he will be laying with telling her how miserable he is with you?
The facts you put your needs beforehand a child’s Says a lot about your character. Put her picture on your bathroom mirror and maybe that I’ll help you end it.