This topic contains 1 reply, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Kackoe 3 months, 1 week ago.
February 2, 2018 at 6:45 am #681976
My name is Jess and my ex and I broke up about two weeks ago. We had been having problems because I started doing placement as a primary school teacher and was also working several jobs at that time. My boyfriend and I lived in the same college and his room was just upstairs from mine. I was an RA at the time which meant I could get people knocking on my door at any time for help. His room became my safe haven to nap and so what used to be a fun exciting thing (me visiting his room) became and exhausting draining thing because he is a gamer and so used to stop playing games when I came to visit. When I was visiting so frequently and not to hang out just to chill out he would feel bad if he didn’t stop playing and entertain me but I would tell him to keep playing cos I just wanted to nap. This lead to him doing exactly what I suggested and soon he got into the habit of not making me a priority in his life. Prac ended and I stopped going to his room to nap but now when I visited him he would just sit there playing and so I would leave and we would both feel bad. Eventually we talked about it and the solution we came up with was I would tell him before I would visit and have a set plan of something to do. But it became exhausting to not be able to just pop in to say hi like I used to. Everything had to be planned out and often the plans would fall flat like we would watch a movie but it wouldn’t be very exciting. Anyways, after I left college and moved to a new place there was already distance but I started to feel insecure like he was pulling away from me which made me at first push harder which drove him further away and then start to pull back myself. In the end we decided to go on a break because we were not having fun with each other. After a week on break (it was meant to be two weeks) I freaked out and broke up with him because I realised how much I just wanted to talk to him and share all of the good things in my life with him and yet he hadn’t messaged me at all. I realise maybe we were both doing the same thing since it was a break but I was not thinking straight. I ended it pretty badly too. I sent him a Facebook message essentially saying we couldn’t even be friends. The next day I regretted it and asked him out again but he said no understandably. I have spent the last two weeks giving in and messaging him every few days and he always replies. He still has me in his profile picture and he hasn’t blocked me on anything even though with all of his past relationships he blocked them on everything when they broke up. We have talked a little and I told him that despite what I said I actually do want to be friends and he said he is still just afraid when ever he thinks about hanging out with me that I will talk about the break up and it hurts too much. I know it sounds silly and hopeless but I actually want to get back together with him. I know our old relationship is over it had a bit of a snowball effect but he is a person that I love and our relationship was actually really good for the most part. I think if we started fresh we could make it work but I don’t think he would be willing to start again. What do you guys think? Do I have any sort of chance?
February 11, 2018 at 1:50 am #683113
I don’t understand. You freaked out and broke up with him because he didn’t communicate with you when you were one week into two weeks of NC? Be that as it may, I think there’s been too much water under the bridge on this relationship. Too much has eroded to get back together with a fresh start. I think you should move on to date others. Maybe some day you’ll be able to be friends, but that’s at least a year away.