do EX's always come back??

Oh God im propbably not in a good place to advise here as I have just broken up with my ex for the 3rd time and each time we did go back and things are good for a while then he goes back to his default setting of unavailable asshole. Think long and hard Katie about your reasons for breaking up and if he does come back are you going to be better off in the long run. I wasted over 4years of my life on this guy and I really hope now we are done as i have realised hes an asshole, after years of making excuses, blaming myself, making allowances the lot. I have to be done as its brought me no good. I hope you get your happiness either way x

Hi Katie well u need to think about why you are breaking up. If hes being an ass to you it means hes an ass. I took a while to accept this. I blamed, depression, issues, a terrible marriage, an introverted personality, I really loved the guy and wanted things to work between us, we had great chemistry and it was amazing when things were going well but the bottom line for me was he was emotionally unavailable mainly and he was stringing me along as he knew it was only ever going to just be a casual thing between us and yup he was an asshole to me but he never wanted to let go he liked me around for if and when it suited him. He was good mind u, a clever well practiced manipulator. Think about his actions towards you and they will tell u so much more than his words. x

Oh yes. I have had only one serious relationship and we broke things off thrice. We are broken up now but I know he will come back. But all my girl friends have always had their exes come back. Always. It might be too late sometimes though.

To date, every single guy I ever dated (except the one that JUST broke it off, and, he may simply need more time) has come back at least once. Sometimes after that we broke up and it was done for good…my last relationship we broke up four times and got back together three. The best thing to do to ensure him coming back is NOTHING. Don’t text him, don’t show up where he is, don’t friend him on Facebook, etc. Just do nothing. Move on with your life. Then for some reason, they’re always back.

What if you’ve been working on yourself & you feel like the relationship would be better this time? I’m really inexperienced with relationships & ive been doing a lot of think about how I acted & treated him while we were together.

I agree with Gemini65 in principle and yet, every single married couple I know, did break up at least once, early in the relationship.

In my experience, yes, exes always come back. At least once.

My mistake was to take my ex back easily, without him proving to me that he has changed, without making him work for it. Do not repeat this.

I stayed in complete no contact, he came back 3 weeks later, most of them do within 3-5 weeks if you stay in complete contact.

Khadijah- I am inexperienced when it comes to dating. I’m 25 and he was a lot of first for me & the only guy I’ve been in a serious relationship with. It’s actually been like a month & 1/2. I didn’t treat him horrible but I over thought stuff & wasn’t very patient. I’ve been working on having a better attitude & not just thinking about my own feelings

Every ex from a serious relationship of mine has come back at least once. In the first situation it took a long time because we were both in college very far from each other, but he came back to visit me and then tried to ask for me back. I was so hurt by the breakup and by his ego that I knew it would never work. I had moved on. The second relationship I had broken up with that guy, and he pretty much never let go really. He would try to reconnect, make jokes and reminisce, but I wouldn’t allow it, so then he’d get his space again. Then after a few months he’d resurface again. This happened maybe 3 times before I finally shut him down by saying I’m in a relationship with someone else (it’s lame that for some guys that’s the only way to get them to leave you alone). The third guy, he had broken up with me, and I was pretty blindsided by it. But we were also temporarily long distance, and that was mainly his reason why – well, that and his fear of commitment. So when I got back in town after a few months, we reconnected and then he said he wanted to get back together. I made him work for it. We spent time together talking about why the break up, what he’s been doing since, how it would be different this time. After almost a month we got back together. And now we’ve been together for almost 2 years. We’re having issues now, honestly related to his fear of commitment…and I’m not sure we’ll last, but I don’t regret getting back together one bit.

But don’t rush it. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Let him come back to you. Guys need to do the chasing. You need to focus on yourself, keep learning from what has happened and make yourself a better person for whoever may pop up in your life. Maybe it will be him, maybe it won’t. One month is like the *minimal* time apart I would recommend for a breakup if you’re thinking of getting back together.

Katie, its true they usually do come back.
It happened recently to my friend with a guy she went on 4 dates with and he decided to end things. Things dont seem to be working out as well for them.
Its happened to me in the past when guys dumped me. I had already moved on. My motto is an ex is an ex for a reason but then again many married couples had one breakup before getting back together again.

a second chance is more than enough don’t fall into the habit of giving him a third or fourth chance without changing habits.

When they do come back you have the power to decide whether he is worthy of you. You have to be certain of your feelings so old habits and mistakes don’t ruin it again. He must prove to you that he has changed.
Maria recommendations are good I’ve read some of the materials. Ex BF recovery has lots of info on the site. Seeing what my friend is going through with the guy who came back I think its best to go NC for the full 30 days. Habits take 21 days to form or change.

I’ve had exes “feel” their way back…one ex in particular I got back with knowing full well we had not worked out our issues but I was hopeful having addressed it would be enough…it wasn’t so I made it “stick” the second time and haven’t looked back. My ex husband and I broke up a lot…divorced and then reconciled even…but I have to agree…once you’ve crossed that line…it’s just easier to do it again and the issues usually aren’t resolved…this is why it’s important to really open your eyes to their ways and how y’all interact when dating…crucial to be keen and observant and not get caught up in the romance…reality sets in later and it ain’t always pretty…

Most of us do not change without a startling revelation. Our values and personalities have taken years to develop. We all have our “special” buttons.

So, unless you have had some amazing experience that has shocked you to the core or he has I would imagine that the issues you had before will continue.

It they were minor issues and you overplayed them and now you see the light well that would be hopeful….but without a major change somewhere please be careful not to waste your time or go through another cycle of “this is not working”.

Continue to work on becoming the best version of you….that is a good investment. Enjoy your life. Smell the flowers. Laugh and love the best you can everyday. You are not meant for every man and not every man you like is meant for you.

It’s been pretty much no contact since the breakup besides him coming & getting stuff he left & my place & he trying to tell him he got mail at my place. But he won’t talk to me at all. I’m glad he won’t though cause I’ve realized that I’m better off & don’t want him back