Did I ruin it?


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  • #864545 Reply
    Laurette

    Met this guy at the pharmacy, we were both looking for the same product and it then turned into a long conversation and we ended up exchanging numbers. he works 2 jobs and is really busy, but we continued to get to know each other, and he always made time to text/call me everyday even if it was just to tell me he hoped i was having a good day. So when we talk it was very deep conversations and he opened up so much to me I was actually surprised. It was very enjoyable conversations. A few days later he told me that he would love to take me out to dinner so we can continue to get to know each other better.

    but I declined his dinner offer and told him that I am only looking for a sexual relationship (but this was a lie, it was just a test to see what he says) and his tone completely changed and he actually sounded disappointed and he said “ooh, well I mean I was hoping to take you out to dinner and get to know you better” But I guess if thats what you want to do then i guess we can do that”

    So I told him I was actually going to the beach the following night since it was the night of the New Moon, and he told me he would love to join me. So we planned to meet at the beach. (Just to chill and hang out, not get in the water)

    So the day comes and I ghost him. He contacted me all day and at 1am i responded, “oh hey, sorry i didn’t mean to stand you up, I was just being a horny ass when I said that i wanted to have sex tonight, I’m actually not that spontaneous. But good luck in your search”

    He responds “I’m confused, we were meeting up to have sex? i thought we were just going to hang out at the beach”. Then says, “Well i respect your decision and it was a pleasure getting to know you, and btw I didn’t want to have sex, i think you’re really beautiful and i get good energy from you every time we speak so i was genuinely interested in taking you to dinner and get to know you better.

    I never responded, but a week later I sent him the “hey text”… we spoke for a little and he asked to FaceTime. So we video chatted, and i was actually in bed in a nightgown and he just kept saying how “beautiful I was and he asked me why did i say what i said that night. And I told him that I was embarrassed by that and that he prob thinks I’m a weirdo, he responded, its cool, I just didn’t see the point of you saying all of that since we were only going to the beach.

    Well maybe like 20 mins into that convo, he started saying how he wished he was cuddled up next to me and how he would love to be stuck in a bed with me. After talking for a while, we hung up and he said he would call me the next day and that was about 2 weeks ago, and I never heard from him since. So I’m not sure if I should just move on because I made a complete fool of myself trying to act like i just wanted to have sex. I only said that to see his response.

    I don’t plan on contacting him because I feel like i already made a complete fool of myself. I know I acted like a weirdo playing games but just wanted some honest advice and anyones take on the situation and if i should move on?

    #864587 Reply
    Raven

    Move on…

    #864589 Reply
    Erin

    Please stop playing games with people just to prove a point, it’s immature.

    You clearly don’t know how to play this game, so don’t.

    Don’t assume you know what a person is thinking or what he wants when you don’t really know them. It wouldn’t have hurt you to go for dinner and talk but noooooo, you had already come to your own conclusions about him and made counter moves (wrong ones)

    In case you’re wondering where you went wrong, Here’s what this looks like to an objective eye.

    You told him (lied) you just want sex, then it turned out he really wanted to get to know you.

    YOU had a chance to redeem yourself but once again you threw sex in the ring.

    You stood him up without communicating and went on your way to ignore him, only to text him at odd hours with some lame explanation?

    Changed your mind and said you didn’t want to have sex and told him that he should keep it moving with other girls lol

    Ignored him for a whole week when you had the time have an honest conversation and come clean, only to throw him a lame ‘hey’ text.

    I could hear the sound of your value graph to this guy, plummeting all the way down until it hit the negative figures.

    So yeah, he decided he didn’t want to deal with your multiple personalities and indecisiveness.

    What to do?

    YOU could call him, apologize and come clean and just be honest for once and stop playing these damn games and tell him you really want to get to know him too. Tell him you got scared (“which is what I think really happened). You liked this guy, he liked you and made a move, then you got scared and went into self sabotage mode.

    The odds are not looking really bright at the moment but you just have to bite the bullet on this one.

    If it’s no longer on the table, then you got the deuces from him.Cease and desist and let the guy go.You only have yourself to blame here.

    Learn from this and let it be a lesson to you, not to pull crap like that on people.

    You might have heard crappy relationships in the past but give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes, treat them on merit not make assumptions about them.

    #864596 Reply
    T from NY

    This is seriously awful and unbelievable. Please be an authentic person with others.

    #864609 Reply
    Laurette

    @T from NY – girl, I know, made a complete fool of myself! :(

    @Erin – Thank you so much, you are totally right, I do not know the game. I am defnitely taking this as a lesson learned and a loss, not going to reach out to him because he probably already thinks I’m a lunatic so I’m just going to leave him alone. I definitely have stuff to work on so thank you so much for the helpful tips!

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