Did I do the right thing?


Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice Did I do the right thing?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Aida 2 weeks, 4 days ago.

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  • #668691 Reply

    tinkle

    Hey I met a guy in a pub three weeks back. He approached me and we talked a lot. He was new to the city. We asked me for my contact number and then he texted me the next day itself. We remained connected. He flirted a lot with me and then he invited to meet me on Saturday. We met. It was instant chemistry. We both were attracted to each other. We had a good time and then he asked me to come to his place. I politely declined. He kept insisting. At least 10 times. Then he also said that there are separate rooms and he won’t sleep with me, he has no such intention.

    I agreed then. And he kept his word. However, in the morning he got very close and pinned me to the bed and started kissing me on my back etc. I felt very uncomfortable and odd and he sensed that. So he apologized and got off me. I left his place. He did not invite me over for another 2 weeks but kept in contact. He then called last Saturday to ask if I was free to meet. I was outside on a date. He sensed that too. Today he asked me if I wanted to meet again and that he wants to meet
    I agreed but I told him I did not want to hangout at his place. He said tbh nothing happened at my place, but I am ok with whatever you are ok with. I did not like his tone and the fact that he did not understand that it was possible for me to have felt uncomfortable at his place. I see a lack of sensitivity in him and therefore told him that I did not wish to see him again. Was I wrong or unreasonable or irrational to do this?

    #668699 Reply

    Kayla

    What’s sad is you have to ask this question. What’s worse is that you went to a total strangers home and came close to getting raped. Yet you would even question or consider seeing him again?

    First of all, he only wants is to get into your pants.

    Second, never go to a man’s home no matter how many times he insists or says things like he has a separate room. As you can see he had every intention of trying to have sex with you. Get to know the person and take your time before putting yourself in a situation you could end up hurt or regretting. Women seem to have no sense for self preservation. They give in and put trust in people who haven’t even earned it yet. For your own sake please stop doing this.

    You did the right thing to turn him down. Now delete his contact information and forget him. He isn’t a nice guy. I’m glad you at least trusted your gut when you decided what he did was very uncomfortable and you no longer want to see him. Now stick to that decision. It has nothing to do with his lack of sensitivity. He is on the prowl for easy sex and not a bf and gf relationship.

    #668704 Reply

    catherine

    What you did sounds fine to me. Your gut was telling you something and you acted on it. Well done. So many of us don’t listen to the voice of doubt and then get much more hurt in the long run. If you felt uncomfortable then that is what you felt and if he was more concerned about it then he would have been more apologetic and would have talked it through with you.

    #668713 Reply

    Lane

    Yes, you did the right thing by no longer seeing this guy, however you should never put yourself at risk or danger with someone you hardly know at all. This is the lesson I hope you learned and will take your time to fully vet a guy in public locations before going to his home alone.

    Home dates usually means SEX so its best to date in public for a couple months before entertaining a home date until you know the guy well enough to determine his true motives or intentions. I’ve had a couple early home dates but I already knew them (not strangers) and it was only for “dinner” where we ate, chatted a bit, and I left a couple hours later. Some men like to show off their cooking skills as a way to flatter a woman, so make sure that’s their true motive before accepting a home date if your not looking for or wanting to have sex with them.

    #668740 Reply

    Aida

    “We had a good time and then he asked me to come to his place. I politely declined. He kept insisting. At least 10 times.”

    When you say no, stick to it. You said no because that was what you wanted. You don’t have good boundaries because after insisting at least 10 times (!!!!) you caved and did what HE wanted.

    You really need to work on this. It’s a red flag for him that he kept insisting. If a man did that to me I would NEVER see him again. He doesn’t respect you or what you want. And it’s a red flag for you that you let him push you around and came close to very likely getting raped. I hope you take this very seriously, and never see this guy again. He’s bad news.

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