Did he lose interest after the first date?


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This topic contains 43 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Ana 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #602037 Reply

    Ana

    I’ve been texting this guy the whole week. We’ve even been talking on the phone. He seemed genuine. He just got out of a relationship 7 months ago. He said he wasn’t after sex he wanted something more.
    Finally met him and had a date. It was going well. We were clearly attracted to each other. He asked me to come over to watch movies. One thing led to another and we slept together. He said it didnt change his mind or what he thought about me.
    As i was leaving I found it odd i didn’t get a hug or kiss goodbye. Just a thank you for coming.

    I hadn’t received a text from him all day which was weird so i texted him. He replied but just saying it was fun and thanked me for going out and having a good time. Silence after that.
    The next day no text again. So again i texted him asking how he’s doing. He replied and asked me. I told him, he reacted and that was it.

    I’m assuming he lost interest or merely used me. He did say he will be busy with work all week which is true and he will have his kids. So whatever time he has left he’ll give to me. But can he really be that busy that he won’t contact me?

    Should i just give up? Or just wait a few more days? Should i just text him the nice to meet you/good luck text?

    #602039 Reply

    Ana

    He took me on a real date-we had dinner which he paid for and dessert.

    #602040 Reply

    April

    Ana, he didn’t used you, stop thinking that way, it was your choice to sleep with him. Be responsible with your decision. The sex was way too soon but if you feel comfortable with him then that’s fine, don’t beat yourself up for sleeping with him, but I don’t think you’re that confident though because you’re overthinking things considering it’s just the first date. You have initiated too much, it’s about time that you step back for a little and let him come to you. Once you have a date again, this time avoid going back to his place to avoid a pattern, tell him that yes we had sex on the first date but this time you’d like to know him better first no matter how tempting it is. It shows that you desire him and at the same time, you have standards.

    #602041 Reply

    LG

    Ana

    I am sorry but this guy is not interested. The fact he said he was not just after sex..was a stupid manipulative comment, he told you what he thought you wanted to hear so you would feel comfortable.

    After a first date the guy should be making plans to see you again…not saying he will be busy for a week. I don’t think you will hear from him anytime soon and if you do it will be to have sex again I am sure.

    I would delete his number or block him.

    #602046 Reply

    Ana

    April – i do take full responsibility that i slept with him, it was my choice. I just regret it now and see it was a mistake. I do believe you when you say I’m over reacting though since it was just the first date. So I’m going to let it flow and see if he’ll contact me ever again or not.

    LG – well we did talk about a second date. We talked about what we could do, we even talked about seeing movies together. When the bill came i offered to pay and he told me the next date i can pay. We talked about being busy because we’re both parents and both busy. He just has more to take on than me. But still, your point may be right.

    #602047 Reply

    April

    Dont regret it, Ana! Specially when the sex was good! If you enoyed it then good! Carry on with your daily activities and continue dating others so you wont focus on this one. 🙂

    #602048 Reply

    Ana

    Haha thanks April! The sex was good and i can’t regret that!

    #602049 Reply

    LG

    Ana,

    If you feel that there is a possibility he will genuinely reach out to ask for another date, then I will give him the benefit of the doubt.

    IMO like someone else suggested don’t sleep with him the next date…so it’s just not about that. Go see a movie and then just say you have an early day the next day…don’t say I don’t want to sleep with you right now.

    Then take it from there. Coming from someone who has been on her fair share of first dates…I already know the pattern of a guy who likes me. They will call you and set up that 2nd date within a week of the first. Do not reach out to him anymore but see what he does. I would also suggest you see others.

    #602067 Reply

    Ana

    Hi LG,

    I’m not sure if he will contact me but I’d like to hope he will based on his way of talking to me. But if there should ever be a second date – who knows if there will be – then no sex for sure. I’ve learned my lesson. But i will back off now and make it up to him to contact me.

    #602068 Reply

    L

    Unless you are a prostitute, no man is going to openly admit he is only after sex from you.

    #602073 Reply

    Vanessa

    And if he doesn’t reach out, DO NOT TEXT HIM A GOODBYE TEXT. It’s not necessary. It was one date. You feel more because of that week of texting. Limit your contact with a guy before your first meeting so you don’t get a false sense of intimacy.

    #602083 Reply

    Shannon

    I have to be honest, EVERY guy knows that a womam expects a phone call or a text after sex or they’ll feel used. They know it. He hasn’t reached out at all, he hasn’t mentioned seeing you again, and he gave you an excuse about your kids. This not a man who is into you. Blunt hatsh truth. He’s letting you know by not reaching out but responding politely when you do. This is called a fade out. I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, but once you accept it you can move on.

    #602090 Reply

    Ana

    Okay no goodbye text. I realize that’s so cliche and makes him think he has an upper hand on me. I also dont want him to know he affected me at all.

    And tou may be right, guys probably know they need to reach out. Especially when its to someone they may want something. It is the classic fade out. He only mentioned seeing me again during the date and said he would call/text me still after sex which I’m sure was common courtesy.

    I wish peoplw can just be honest. I am. And esp since we’re both adults it doesn’t help we play games still. I’m tired of games.

    #602092 Reply

    Sam

    How is it game playing? You met a man online that is a total stranger. You went on a date and to his home and gave his sex.

    All he had to do to earn this, was sweet talk you and pay for dinner. If you want a real relationship you have to start showing higher value than that.

    #602094 Reply

    Nat

    “I hadn’t received a text from him all day which was weird so i texted him. ”

    I wish you hadn’t texted him TWICE.

    Why do women do that? If a guy is not contacting you after sex then how do you benefit by going after him? He did not forget to contact you, he was not “busy”, he was not ill, and even if he were all that at once he would have still contacted you had he wanted to, I can assure you.

    Ladies please relearn this old rule: do not chase men. If they don’t give you a courtesy of a contact after sex, all you can do is shake off your humiliation and do not repeat the same mistake again.

    #602095 Reply

    Been there Done that

    When he said he will message you even after sex…. this is where his mind was working. He himself didn’t like the fact that you slept with him so soon. Here’s the thing, if you want a guy to take you seriously, you need to lock up your female organs. He must be wondering if she slept with me on out first date, she probably sleeps with everyone on her first date. Don’t beat yourself over this now. It is done but just be careful for the next time. Giving in so easily isn’t a challenge for men. Let them chase you and let him earn that pleasure from you.

    #602097 Reply

    Ana

    Well here’s something. I didnt text him at all,i finally deleted his number and he now just texted me asking me how I’m doing.. what do i do and what does it mean? I’m confused.

    #602100 Reply

    Sherri

    When you deleted his number, how do you know it is him? Also if you want to answer him, then answer him. But do not expect his interest to be high if he is not really asking you out on a date. And if his “date” is …. you want to come over and hang out or watch a movie at mine, then totally expect that he has put u in the box of a f*** buddy and doesn’t really see any potential relationship with you.

    #602101 Reply

    LG

    Don’t be confused…answer him within a reasonable amount of time and see what he does. You can simply say I’m doing good thanks. Do not ask him how he is….simply because you have already reached out to him enough now let him come seeking you for a bit. If he continues the convo then go with it if he doesn’t then leave it.

    If he asks you out on a date again = then he wants to see you (no sex).

    If he just simply is texting to “keep in touch” then he is not fully interested.

    Remember it was only 1 date you two have no “commitment” to each other. The sex was an extra perk that unfortunately now should not be the center of your relationship if one develops.

    #602103 Reply

    Kathryn

    It means he’s testing the waters to see if you will come over and sleep with him again. Nothing confusing about that and no games. Not sure why you are confused. Booty call. How old are you?

    #602108 Reply

    April

    Ana, relax. This is not confusing, it’s just him basically asking what you are doing. Avoid overthinking and just be present, okay? You can reply back to that message..then once he replies back update us 😉

    #602120 Reply

    Ana

    I replied to him but very dry. Not asking how he is or anything. Hes texting me back things. Things we talked about on the date. I’m going to see where this goes if anywhere. If he does ask me out again great. If it’s to his place again its a classic booty call. If its out on a date then no sex.

    I am familiar with booty call texts. I receive them often and I send them sometimes. I don’t know about this. So we’ll see.

    #602181 Reply

    Linda

    Smart girl, you got this! 😊

    #602205 Reply

    LG

    Good luck Ana….I really hope it works out. 🙂

    #602633 Reply

    Ana

    So he texted me again asking how I’m doing, making conversation. I took the bait and asked him how he was.

    He hasn’t mentioned anything about a second date or anything. So I’m going to assume these are just texts to “keep in touch” for when hes in the mood.

    So i should still not text him first, right??

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