Crush to Friends?


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This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  fillo 2 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #668126 Reply

    J

    So I was talking to a girl since August. I’m 28 and she’s 29. I was out of state at the time when my friend told me I could start messaging her. We began talking every day and asking all sorts of questions about each other. We’d flirt and reply to each other at all times of the day. We both seemed to be into each other and she agreed to go on a date with me. I finally returned home in October and took her out on a couple dates. She said that we should hang out more before we move toward a relationship. She left for a vacation shortly after but we still texted.

    While away she said that I creeped her out with “mushy” texts. Things like saying good morning, good night and letting her know that I was attracted to her. Basically, communication on her end became less and less. I found myself initiating a lot of our interactions. A week after she returned I thought it would be a good gesture to bring coffee and snacks to her and her coworkers since she works on night shifts. I was also planning to ask her to be my date to a ball. I asked her friend/coworker, who I have never met but knew of, if she would be willing to help me. Her friend/coworker ended up telling her about my message and she got mad at me and told me that we’d never work out. She blocked me on social media as a result of it.

    This was almost 2 weeks ago. I realized I was overly infatuated with her and that I shouldn’t have messaged her friend. Over the weekend I sent her a text stating just that and asking her if we could reconnect as friends. Personally, I’m open to relationships (not on hold for her), not in a rush for anything and fine if she doesn’t want to date me. But I do value her and like her as a person and would like to continue to be her friend.

    I’m wondering if there’s a way I can show her that I’m interested in just being friends. I feel like being rejected isn’t worth losing a friendship over.

    #668137 Reply

    Amanda

    No there isn’t anything you can do other than give her space and let her come to you. But honestly this girl clearly is not into you, because most women would LOVE sweet texts. It is very hard to be friends with someone you like so I suggest you just move on from this one. You did nothing wrong so save your sweet self for a better gal.

    #668140 Reply

    Betteroffsingle

    Wow you seem like a very thoughtful guy. Her loss.

    #668468 Reply

    J

    Thanks for the advice. I’m no where near perfect. I may have texted her too much at times but we talked every day. Just a weird turn of events. It takes two to flirt back and forth. Relationships take a lot of time to build and are so fragile.

    #669180 Reply

    Anne

    The moment she called you creepy, you should have dropped her instantly. That is extreme and you can bet she told her friends you are a pest. Very bad judgement to impose on her job like a sad puppy.

    But don’t change, try with the next woman you like.

    And it is outrageous that you continue to try to work your way in to her life by pestering her to be friends. You have already blown it and she does not see you two as equal. You want friends with mutual respect.

    #669227 Reply

    Ana

    She is not interested – and you may have scared her off. Either you went to fast or she was never that interested, but blocking you on social media is a bold move so pretty clear sign from her. You can see if she responds to your text about being friends, but she may not believe you are serious. And if you pursue friendship with her with the same intensity as you have been a relationship, then she is going to have the same reaction she has been having.

    The only thing you can do is give her space. If there is a way for you to naturally be part of her life in a no-pressure situation (for example, if a group of her friends were hanging out and you were just part of the group), then that might be a way for her to see that you can be a friend. And limit texts otherwise. If your friendship is based around you pursuing her and her pushing you away, that’s not a friendship you want. Not a healthy dynamic.

    #669259 Reply

    Joe

    Never ever discuss a girl with her friends! Like never ever get them involved. Deal with your relationship problems on your own.

    I don’t see the point in trying to be her friend. You haven’t known each other long enough to be close friends. Move on with your life..

    #669264 Reply

    fillo

    Whooaa! Entitled much?

    No means no, dude. On to the next.

    #669265 Reply

    fillo

    This:

    >>While away she said that I creeped her out with “mushy” texts. Things like saying good
    >>morning, good night and letting her know that I was attracted to her. Basically,
    >>communication on her end became less and less. I found myself initiating a lot of our
    >>interactions. A week after she returned I thought it would be a good gesture to bring coffee
    >>and snacks to her and her coworkers since she works on night shifts.

    she said you creeped her out by coming on too strong.

    so your next idea was to spring up unannounced to her work place? where you’ve never been, and where you’ve never been invited?

    but not without reaching out to a coworker of hers first to get her to “help” you appear unannounced after she stated you were creeping her out?

    sttttooooooppppppp

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