Confused…..please help


Home Forums Break Up Advice Confused…..please help

This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Carol Buchanan 5 days, 16 hours ago.

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  • #620563 Reply

    Sherl

    Hi. This is thr first time I have posted on here. I broke up with my ex three weeks agp and feel I have come to a standstill. My son’s dad committed suicide 12 years ago. The I met my ex who I dated when I was 18. We got back in contact with another on facebook 2 years ago and the second question he asked me 2 as are you married and I said no. We met for a drink and he told me that he regretted us splitting up when we were younger. We are now 44 years old and that he never stopped loving mevery and that I was the love of his life. We reconciled and everything was great until 6 months into theach relationship when he took promotion at work. From a driving jobs to a management job. The company told him they were would replace his old job and get another person to help him. It never materialised. He was left on his own to learn the job with no help or support and when this went wrong he got the blame. He raised it with management numerous times but nothing was done. A month later he took on a football team as a manager. I could see her was starting to get stressed. Then a few months later he told me he wasn’t sleeping. Only having 2 hours a night. Then he started to get colds and viruses every other week. From Christmas we stopped seeing one another to ease the burden on him as he said he is always tired and keeps breaking dowe and has no enjoyment in anything. A few weeks ago he told me he was numb. I asked him if he meant towards me and he said no. Then 3 weeks ago he exploded at me and said that he needs to be alone and sort his head out as he hates the person he has turned into. How can someone say you are their soulmate lover of their life and never want to lose you again to this. Has anyone else come across this?

    #620571 Reply

    MariaTheOriginal

    It sounds like he is struggling with depression to me– which could have been brought on by the extreme stress/lack of sleep. Its unfortunately very common for people with depression to end relationships– it often doesn’t have anything to do with you AT ALL. They just dont’ care about anything, feel worthless and like they won’t be able to make you happy.

    If you think I might be right about this, I would concentrate on being a good friend to him at this time and express that even if you aren’t in relationship you care for him deeply and want him to be well. See if you can encourage him to see a doctor about this. He sounds like he’s having a super rough time and isolating.

    I say this as someone who has struggled with depression and while I haven’t ever ended a relationship because of it– I have often considered it, and tend to withdraw. I have also had someone end a relationship with me because they had a stress/depression crisis. We are now back together 9 months later and very happy. You obviously need to move forward with your life (as I did– actually the time apart was good for me too) and not be waiting around for him, but I’m just saying that it doens’t sound like he is really himself right now.

    #620572 Reply

    peggy

    Sheri-I agree with Maria 100%-he sounds like a good guy who loves you but his work situation burned him out and he is struggling. Follow Maria’s suggestions-good luck.

    #620575 Reply

    Sheryl

    I asked him why he thinks we should split up and he said because I never brought him anything for Christmas. I was suffiring financial hardship at the time and didn’t buy anyone anything as I couldn’t afford it. He replied back saying it’s in the past now. Got to carry on sorting my head out.

    I texted him last week to say that the offer friendship will always and if he texted I would always reply and he replied like I said I’ve got to sort my head out. I knew he was my soul mate like he knew I was. Thank you for your response. It was very beneficial. I don’t want to text him again yet as I feel I was push him away even more.

    #620577 Reply

    Sheryl

    He also saI’d that I should let him go so I can carry on. I feel like i have made him depressed.

    #620694 Reply

    Marina

    You not buying him a Christmas present is not a reason to break-up. Just sounds like an excuse. A really dumb one.

    #620713 Reply

    Ashley

    Agree with Marina, no guy really cares about holiday gifts like that, let alone would legitimately use that as an excuse! This guy is a total moron. Only someone really really stupid would say that to you. That right there shows you not to want him!!

    #620734 Reply

    Carol Buchanan

    Let him go and let him sort his head out. He told you that at least twice already.

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