Complicated situation/mixed feelings — Should I move on or..?


Home Forums Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals Complicated situation/mixed feelings — Should I move on or..?

This topic contains 9 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  kat 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #653946 Reply

    Kat

    Hello,

    I met a guy 5 years ago and went on 3 dates over a course of a year. He would constantly cancel the last minute and would go back and forth difference excuses..the last time I saw him, he took me over to his place and things lead to s**. ofcourse he stopped when he realized it was my first time and disappeared after that day. I was very heartbroken over this matter and took me a long time to get my confidence back in dating.
    Somehow he found me on facebbok last year and started messaging again. He seemed different, more mature. he said with wants to settle down, marriage and wants kids with a decent girl that doesnt sleep around(?) but wanted to pick up where we left off from before..of course I told him off and didnt give him the time of day. I told him he has to earn the trust and prove what he says first.
    He started getting hot and cold again and in november(last year) when we finally decided to start a relationship he disappeard.. I noticed later on that he was with another girl/ in relationship at the same time he was with me..so I moved on without feeling bad this time.

    This time I was actually happy that I didnt sleep with him.

    Now he is back again, single again, somehow was able to find me info and contacted me back..appologized and wants to talk. he asked me out and gave me his phone number to let him know whenever Im available to meet him. he said he would message me the next day as well to see how im doing…… but he didnt message. since I had his number I messaged him but he hasnt responded back other than a “hi”. I assumed he would know who I am so I didnt introduce myself. he didnt ask me to introduce myself either.

    Im sure at this point, anyone can say there is definitely something wrong with me to have given chances again and again to this guy and let him keep going and coming back, but Im not sure why is it that I cant completely cut him off. I have met and dated other guys and when they cancel once or twice or get hot and cold, I move on without looking back again..but with this guy Im not sure what Im doing.
    A few friends told me now that he is back, it means that he wants me and that I should hold on to him this time and dont let him walk away.

    what is right here? Am I having a crush? an obsession? or love at first sight?
    should I message him again and meet him in person and tell him to get out of my life for good or give him another chance to explain?

    Thanks

    #653948 Reply

    Kat

    I forgot to mention- he is 40 now and Im 34.

    not sure if the age difference makes any difference in the situation

    #653949 Reply

    Jens

    Oh Lord. Ignore your friends. This guy is a total flake. Get away NOW. BLock him and never engage with him again. He’s shown you repeatedly who and what he is. If you aren’t convinced go read the post My NSA Partner Won’t Be Honest… that woman has been stuck on that man for 10 years and isn’t anywhere ready to walk away even though he’s been playing her all this time. This guy is just seeing if he can get you to sleep with him and he will disappear again. He’s worthless to you. You deserve better.

    #653953 Reply

    Raven

    Sure give this guy another chance to flake out on You…

    #653954 Reply

    Amanda

    No no no! This guy is playing you for a fool. Do not talk to him again, ever. And you care because you lost your virginity to him; it is normal. But do give him another chance. Unbelievable.

    #653955 Reply

    Phillygirl

    Sigh. I thought you had to be no more than 20 when I read this. This piece of work has disrespected you from the word GO.

    He’s 40 years old! ABSOLUTELY REIDCULOUS!

    Let me simplify this. He’s a complete douche. And you seriously need to learn to love yourself more so that you never put up with sh*tstupid behavior like this.

    A guy doesn’t deserve a second chance when he mistreats you once. Women really need to up their standards.

    We get the treatment we allow. When a guy strips calling, treats you without respect, shows no common decency, plays you for a fool, or treats you like crap or trash, it’s because he DOES NOT care.

    It’s that simple. You’re friends advice is garbage. Drop him, and work on you.

    #653956 Reply

    Phillygirl

    *stops calling-not strips, lol

    #653959 Reply

    peggy

    Kat must equal Kate-same repeated sad story with a few more back story additions. NO NO NO

    #653965 Reply

    kat

    Peggy – How did you come up with that equation? There are so many similar stories and dating problems happening these days but you cant judge her situation is mine!

    If you read about her situation, she met online and continued to facebook or whatever.
    I read your respond in her question too…still appreciate you not judging and comparing my situation with hers!!!

    #653970 Reply

    kat

    Thanks everyone for the great advises. appreciate it. It will be hard but I know I can do it..

    -Amanda, I think what you mentioned is most likely the case since I dont feel that way with dating other guys. //Thanks

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