Caught in the middle..

Tallspicy,talk about drama allow me to bring some to you since the only thing you picked up on is the fact that I asked a man whom I converse with not you for money for a tire..First & foremost the reason why alot of woman possibly like yourself wine up getting used(taking care of men & only as sex objects) is because that’s all you feel that your worth..Never not once did I say that I was depending on this man 2 buy me a tire but I simply asked he didnt respond so i purchased my own..Trust me my dear a man will never hold back from asking for your vagina so why hold back from asking for what you need as a woman..Am I wrong when I say that’s were men are for to protect & provide right?..So who the hell are you to question my situation as a negative?..Stay on task..

My dear, I’m gonna be honest with you. It’s gross to ask someone who’s not your boyfriend for anything. It’s actually pretty gross to ask your boyfriend for money as well. If it’s the only thing I picked up on it’s because my guess is that these things are linked. If you really believe that men you use you for your vagina, then that’s what you’re going to get. I think a little self reflection might actually help you and help you avoid situations like this. Lane is right if these guys are acting like fools then just don’t interact with them. Period.

Men who are you are in a relationship with are there to provide and protect. And providing does not always mean monetarily. Maybe when you are married, but even then a woman of value would never risk that she could not support herself in case something happens. You are a very warped view of relationships and what female value is. And it sounds like it’s not working out for you, that’s the only reason why I mention it. If you hold yourself in value men of value will do the same, without having to ask for payment. Healthy men want partners. They don’t want people who can’t support themselves emotionally or monetarily.

Go back to your story, when these men stoped showing up or played games why did you keep talking to them? That means you don’t know your value. Healthy women only deal with men who show up for real. And by show up for real, I mean want the same things and whose actions and words match. It sounds like neither one of these men fell under that category. So why did you let them engage with you? That’s on you. Healthy women would’ve dropped both of these dudes a long time ago.

And by the way you didn’t even ask an actual question. You gave a gigantic monologue that sounded like a ridiculous story. I’m really sorry to be so blunt. But if you think you’re going to come on this forum and we’re going to indulge you in acting like a child who needs to be taken care of like a baby, you’ve come to the wrong place. This is a place where women hell that hold themselves in value, which means we don’t chase men, we don’t indulge men who act like children, and we don’t ask men for money and we provide for ourselves.

Lane,Thanks for your response & I agree it does seem like high school mess,but this is what happened,& it is what it is..Honestly,I asked him to send the money to buy a tire just to see if he would,he didn’t that’s fine with me.Monday I purchased my own tire..It’s already over & done with for these guys..Thanks love..

La France, I understand I was being harsh with you. I have to be honest, when you started mentioning that you were asking for money it really set me off. And why would a 30 year old woman engage with a 23 year old man? In addition it sounded like these two guys are really just kind of pathetic, and the fact that you’re posting on the site to ask why it’s happening leads me to believe that there are some very wounded parts of you and might need a wake up call. My purpose was to tell you that healthy people don’t engage in any of that malarkey. The don’t believe their value is what they extract with sex. I suppose I could’ve said it more kindly but the fact that it was all in there led me to believe that perhaps that the way that you lead your life is creating some of this not such great outcomes. Like I said you probably have more to offer, just use it. When men are acting flaky and sad, just stop talking to them and don’t care what they think or do.

The reality is if you don’t like my tone you don’t have to take my advice. And if you think I am not lady like stop talking about your value being in your vagina. That is a word and implication you said, just as asking for money. I never end up in situations like you described. You don’t have to either. I don’t lead with sex and men want relationships with me. I never have to ask them to buy things nor would I expect them to, and I would feel really bad about even asking. I want relationship based on being copilots and teammates, not a sex organ to trade. I would never allow a man to treat me the way that you’re describing these men are treating you and if they did I wouldn’t post I would just move on and think that they were losers. When men don’t show up, I just move on and know that my value is mine, man or not. When I am in dating, I give men what I call is the 0 f rule. I do not invest until they show up for real and claim me. I choose men who have great jobs, and want what I want. That is all you can control.

You have it in you as well to not be treated badly, nor to care. Let these boys go and shine somewhere else!

TallSpicy,N0W I can relate..Understand that i feel you when you speak on being harsh to make a person realize their worth..Still I say & stand on this it’s never what you say its how you say it.I am very firm & direct,however ,I hold respect in my approach..Before becoming ‘Federal’ I worked with children with behavioral health issues..These kids have been through the indescribable,I mean absolute worst..Though,I had never experienced that life I had a huge heart for them & I always recieved great feedback because I could get them to exude positivity when other coworkers could not..When I moved up to a higher position & had to evaluate kids & the workers I realized what the issue was..The kids were already coming from poor conditions only to be subjected to torment from social workers etc..We’re all human,no one response positively to aggression..Not even kids..So as a grown woman,no kids,& doing extremely well for a single woman I will not respond positively to disrespect..Everything you meant well by be written off because of how you come across..The field of work that I grew accustom to I knew how to handle a situation like this.Now you know you have somethings to work on yourself..I’ve been single for 2years now,I’m not sleeping with anyone & still living my best life.All I had was a small glitch imo..Some may respect my post some may not All & all I didnt loose anything though I’d never pretend to perfect or try to live up to anyone else’s standards..As a woman I encourage you,uplift you,& if a situation such as this ever comes your way PLEASE keep that same energy..Thanks..

0k hunny continue to pretend for a new mode for free while I rest comfortably in my $4k bed..’The value in sex I provide’ has brought me far!..l0l..Nice posting with you..💋

What the f…!!

& how can I be easily baited if i dont care to have a serious relationship(your words)?..If i wanted a serious relationship how could you help?..Are you a license life/relationship coach?..Are you speaking from experience or just based off what you feel?..I’ll wait for your reply..

what a waste of time

I’ve got a pretty screwed up life, others have it worse. it doesn’t mean i am miserable. The best of us find happiness in the misery.

Dangerouse idk if some of you are getting an award for this or what..However,you & whomever else taking the time out to read my post made an executive decision to do so..I did not force anyone!..If this post did not appeal to you then WHY READ OR COMMENT?..No favors were done!..Everything I’ve said has been scrutinized,but the whole point of me becoming argumentative has went unrecognized I see..Let’s just say you posted a similar post as I have on here & I comment telling you how you should live & calling you names just to give you a ‘wakeup call’!..Would you accept that or would you become defensive?..Afterall idk you as an individual & you dont know me..I dont pay any bills at your home & vice versa..So what makes you think that I’ll sit here & allow anyone of you to speak to me anyway you want?..If you can dish it be able to take it!..What was the point in your comment?.I can imagine some posters may have saw a certain part of my post & moved on to the next..I can respect that because I wouldnt waste my time on something that doesn’t appeal to me either..The point I want to make is if you have to act like someones wicked step mother to get your point across then maybe you’re the problem!..I’m a woman just like u therefore you have me f’ed up if you thought I was going to go for any of this bs!..

* shakes head *