Cancelled first date…but resched. Good or bad?

Yeah, it’s a little odd that he would be online in the midst of family emergency.

Maybe he was online, got a call regarding said emergency and immediately called you. Possible and it’s the best case scenario. Who knows?

Go tomorrow with an open mind and FULL confidence in who you are. Be sure to let us know how it went! I sure am curious!

Reminds me of a dude, 45 years old (just to give my story some detail) he seemed extremely interested for like a week and scheduled a date really soon. All was good and he was saying good morning and making conversation until the day of the date. I didn’t hear from him until late that night, he told me was at the hospital due to his son falling at the playground yet he was active on the app the entire day.

He asked me what I was doing the next night and I obviously had plans so I told him I was busy but was available on Tuesday, he made solid plans with place and exact time only to cancel that same morning.

I said, no problem and never heard from him again. Lol

I ignore if he made the kid thing up or was just bad luck. Then the other reason was he had to pick up his kids from somewhere.

Anyways, men are flaky and weird. Most probably they talk to so many people they lose track.

I cancelled on the same guy twice last weekend.

We met on the dating site. It was actually me who started the conversation. We chatted online a bit and started to text and talk on the phone. He’s a genuine and nice guy. I always laughed so hard when we talked.

He updated his profile picture. All of a sudden I didn’t feel like wanting to meet up with him. At that time, we had set up the time, which was 2 weeks in advance (my crazy busy schedule). We really spent great time talking on the phone. He confirmed the schedule with me two days before the meetup.

My plan was to get a haircut, have a late lunch, and meet up with him. But the haircut took much longer than I expected. I had to cancel the restaurant that I reserved for lunch by myself. About 40min before the meetup, I texted him and said I couldn’t make it.

He was such a gentleman and said it was okay. I said we could do tomorrow. I was really hoping to meet up with him around the noon and have my afternoon and evening doing other stuff. He said he would be free after 2pm. I didn’t text him back.

He called me in the evening asking if everything was okay. I said it was fine and he said he knew I wanted to see him and it must have been a crazy day for me, so he doesn’t blame me (such a sweet guy!). I felt bad for canceling on him. I could’ve pushed the meetup an hour later and he probably wouldn’t mind. But I felt released that I didn’t need to see him that day. So when he asked what time I would be free tomorrow I said 2pm was fine.

And I arrived at the location 20min before. I walked around and sat down and read some articles. When it was approaching 2pm, I was praying that he had an emergency and wouldn’t show up. I was really expecting a phone call from him at 2. But he didn’t. I told myself that I would wait for 5min and leave. During this time, I typed sorts of text to ask him and almost intentionally make him feel bad about being late. Didn’t send out any though.

I left at 2:05. I got his text at 2:07 telling me what he was wearing. At 2:10, he texted where I was. At 2:15, he called. I let the phone ringing and blocked him.

I almost felt tortured the rest of the day. As I’ve been growing up keeping my words and never ever cancel on someone and right after just disappear.

One day we were talking on the phone, he said he wanted to get an old fat cat, like Garfield, and spoil the cat. He also said he enjoys spoiling the person he likes. At that moment, I knew there wouldn’t be anything romantic between us. I don’t like cats and dislike fat animals. I really like his personality and would love to be friends with him, but he seems to want more.

Up until now, I still don’t know what I was thinking about this whole meetup and canceling and disappearing thing. And he is still blocked by me. This poor guy has not done anything wrong. I feel very sorry and guilty and wonder if I would be punished by doing so to such an innocent person.

But I don’t think I’ll ever contact him again. And emergencies are great excuses.

It’s still early on in the game.
I wouldn’t overthink it and just go on the date.
There are many things that could have happened who knows he may explain further tomorrow.
Good luck and remember expectations low standards high.

I just rescheduled a first date/meeting with a guy I’m really interested in because my best friend needed some help with something. This friend helped me through my divorce and there’s just no way I would leave her hanging. I was hoping that he sees this as loyalty to those I love.

As it turns out, he was really upbeat and accommodating about it.

“I don’t like cats and dislike fat animals.”

RedFox, that’s quite a reason to disappear on a guy.

RedFox, I’m laughing at you, that’s really petty but funny. I guess you like what you like but it is VERY trivial. I’ll agree with the other posters but I hate cats also and that would def be a deal breaker for me too but I would’ve had the decency and the balls to just tell the guy.

Genie, I’ll give this guy a pass this time because we don’t know if he truly had a family emergency or not. I would watch his actions closely from here on out tho. If it happens again DROP him!

Jade try creating your own post.. you’ll receive more responses that way.

I would recommend going with your “gut.” I personally find it rude to cancel a date or other engagement by text message. That said, emergencies do happen. If you believe him to be genuine, give him another chance. However, if he cancels a second time, I would get rid of him. Good luck.

I have left the window open of my dating profile at my tablet at home and it still shows online even when I am sitting right in front of the guy. So there could be reasons why the guy’s profile shows online. Give the benefit of the doubt.

With regards to kids, there will always be emergencies. If you are not able to change your schedule to accommodate those emergencies, then you shouldn’t be dating guys who have kids (irrespective of whether you have kids or not).

And yes I would call it an emergency if I had to pick up the kids urgently and keep them with me even on the day my ex is supposed to have them because he couldn’t for some reason. And yes even when they were with me, I can still be online on the site. But would I be able to go on a date with anyone ….. the answer is NO.

I have had to reschedule dates last minute (30 minutes prior) because of some such emergencies. It has always been great if the guy was understanding. But I would never have met the guy again if he wanted to know in detail then and there what the emergency was. The way I see it is I can tell you what the emergency was when we meet but don’t ask me now when I am already stressed out with dealing with it.

One time when I had not been dating for a long time I cancelled on someone four times before finally meeting him. I just got cold feet I think. The fifth time I almost could not make it due to work, it was a coffee early eve when I was still working. I was late and almost turned back from in front of the place but I finally called him. It became huge love and the most heartbreaking story of my life possibly and perhaps there was a reason. I believe in that. I do not like cancellation for this reason and most are fake excuses but you can believe someone is innocent until proven guilty and just go. Most likely reason is that he rescheduled due to meeting someone else instead. A serious guy will usually just make it. Girls can reschedule but I try not to do it more than once and only if I must.

RedFox your story is over the top, I think you know it too, it must have been some internal fear that made you freak out since you had never met the guy. He sounds like a nice person what you described here and he deserved to at least be given an answer. We all do. That said both women and men do weird stuff when it comes to dating.

Consistency and reliability are key to me.

He waited 8 months to meet you and then cancelled??

Never wait 8 months to meet someone. More fish in the sea..

I know it hurts, but he was a liar.