Can I get out of this?

Home Forums Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals Can I get out of this?

This topic contains 41 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Troubled one 1 year, 3 months ago.

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  • #591546 Reply

    Troubled one

    I think I’ve put myself in a bad situation. I’ve been talking to a guy for almost 2 weeks now. We’ve been on three dates. Things are going really well, although I don’t know what his intentions are. He told me in person that he likes me and that he likes hanging out with me. So, I was asked out on a date this Friday by someone else. I wanted to see what his reaction would be because I just read an article about how to tell if a guy wants a serious relationship with you, so I texted him and said “So, I got asked out on a date for Friday”. I kind of regret sending this, but then again I really would like to know if I’d be wasting my time with this guy. He’s at a point in his life, where he’s settled down. Great job, own house, own vehicles and everything, so I would assume that he’s ready to settle with someone. Since I already sent the text, I can’t really take it back now. He hasn’t replied yet. Did I just dig myself a hole that I can’t get out of? What should I say when he replies? I’ve kind of been thinking about what’d I say if he says something like “Are you going to go?” then I’d say “Well, I was hoping to make plans with you.” Or if he says something like “You should go!” Then I have absolutely no idea what I’d say. What the heck do I do in this situation? Please don’t tell me I screwed up, I know I did but what can I do now?

    #591550 Reply


    Until you grow up, you should not date. Your dating others is not his business and should not be used as a bargaining chip. If he is emotionally healthy, he will not respond and not call you anymore. First of all, 3 dates is not a relationship. Secondly, what you did is manipulative at best.

    I have no suggestion other than if he writes back simply apologize. I wanted to see you And instead of asking, I played a game. I hope you can forgive me.

    #591551 Reply

    Troubled one


    I could have understood your advice very well without your first comment. I did say, I know I messed up. I know 3 dates is not a relationship. But thank you for the last part. I will keep that in mind.

    #591552 Reply


    Troubled One…I feel your pain right now…not good!!!!

    Sending a message like that wreaks manipulation and egotistical. I remember when I was dating my ex I would tell him how a guy always flirted with me when I went to get gas…his response “are you trying to make me jealous??” He was a bit of an A$$ reason we are not together but I learned telling someone something to purposely see a reaction is not good.

    IMO I don’t really see how he would answer it…since either answer would put him in a corner. If he doesn’t respond….worst case you may need to stick your tail in between your legs and send an apology, that you sent the message without realizing how it looked. Your not in a committed relationship with him so you have a right to date….its just poor taste to throw it in his face. If we want to make the man we are seeing a bit jealous and show that other men are interested you do it …..inconspicuously.

    #591553 Reply

    Troubled one


    Thank you. Yes, I kind of already feel as if I should tuck my tail between my legs and apologize. Just not really sure how to do it. I feel like such an idiot for even considering sending him something like that. Thank you very much though.

    #591555 Reply


    I’d say I’m sorry that I made that comment. It was quite immature & unnecessary of me

    #591556 Reply


    Yikes this may in fact blow up in your face.

    In the beginning most people assume that you are seeing others unless otherwise noted. Especially since you have only known him for two weeks.

    I’d suggest waiting until he contacts you, which he may not do so. That text could have put him off.

    In the future don’t play these kind of games. If a man is asking you out and staying consistent with communication that’s a good indicator he is interested in you.

    #591557 Reply


    Really bad move.

    If I were a man I honestly don’t know how I would answer this. All he can say is ‘have a nice time’ and figure you are playing games with him.

    You should always assume the person you are dating is likely dating other people, unless they tell you otherwise.
    Wait to see what he comes back with and maybe we can help more.

    #591558 Reply

    Troubled one

    Thank you guys so much. I’m really tearing myself up about saying that. I’m really hoping whatever was there can still be saved.

    #591561 Reply


    Don’t apologize or text anything else . Wait and see if he responds back.

    #591563 Reply

    Troubled one

    Thank you, Jen. I will give an update if he actually responds. At this point, I’m not thinking he will though.

    #591569 Reply

    Troubled one

    He replied. This is what he said “Oh la la. You are a hot commodity.”
    Now what?….

    #591570 Reply


    Troubled One I know this may be far fetched but if all you sent was โ€œSo, I got asked out on a date for Fridayโ€ you can always send a picture of a “cute doggie”…and say “what do you think should I go”??? Make it into a joke????

    I mean we all make mistakes…..:-/

    #591571 Reply


    I would not respond.

    That was his way of making a joke, out of an uncomfortable situation. And don’t say you wish it was with him…
    At this point he knows you are dating others, let him decide if he wants to keep seeing you,

    It’s ok to date other men, so you don’t get too focused on one person anyway. I’m sure he is talking to other women.

    #591572 Reply


    Well at least he has a sense of humor about it.

    I’d probably say thanks with a wink emoji.

    Then change the subject to something else and see how he responds.

    #591574 Reply


    Don’t worry we all make these mistakes but learn from it, alright? ๐Ÿ™‚ And his response doesn’t actually provoke a response from you so just sit back, carry on with your daily activities because if he do want to see you again he will straight up ask you again. Then, if you two do go out on a date you can already ask what he’s looking for right now…just be prepared with whatever he’s going to say.

    #591582 Reply

    Troubled one

    You all are so sweet and helpful. Thank you so much. Especially for not making me feel like more of a fool than I already am. I did not respond back to him and he just sent another text that says “Who asked ya out?”. Seriously, thank you guys so much.

    #591583 Reply


    Hey what’s done is done, we all do things we wish we can take back. Moving forward don’t make it an issue. Don’t apologize. You made the comment and he responded. Don’t talk about it anymore and if you want to gauge his interest in you let him contact you and ask you out, that’s the best indicator.

    #591585 Reply


    If he is asking questions…I wouldn’t ignore him. You can just change the subject or say its not important.

    #591586 Reply


    I like L idea bout the dog AND DON’T DO IT AGAIN! ๐Ÿ˜›

    #591588 Reply


    would it sound so weird to you to pick up the phone and call him to make a witty comment on his text? instead of texting back… you would lower your tension and end with a smile… after all, you only said that you had been asked on a date, not that you would accept… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    #591589 Reply


    Now is when you can send a picture of a cute doggy or a troll etc.

    #591590 Reply


    Send a pic of ME!

    #591591 Reply


    DO NOT PHONE in my opinion.

    #591594 Reply


    Haha Peggy that’s what I was thinking since he asked who???? It would actually be kind of cute…especially if he likes dogs or animals. lol

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