Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › boyfriend hasn't texted me to wish me happy thanksgiving
- This topic has 25 replies and was last updated 8 years, 4 months ago by
Kim.
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kiki
Boyfriend of 18 months hasn’t texted to say happy thanksgiving or answered phone when i called. It is now evening where we are and haven’t heard from him. Is it me or is it completely unforgivable?
Vanessa
Why didn’t you spend it together? How’s your relationship otherwise? Meaning do you guys stay in regular contact? Are you having any problems?
kiki
nope, he was traveling for work and family obligations. he was unsure what city he would even be in. We are generally good together, don’t fight a lot if at all. But i haven’t heard from him for a few days, which isn’t unusual and doesn’t bother me but all but i am pretty upset about no contact today
Maria
Are you worried he maybe doing the turkey dump on you? I hope not.
Stop reaching out to him, and when he does, eventually, you need to hear all the explanations and apologies and it better be something very legit and not just “busy with work”.
Newbie
Wish him a happy thanksgiving with a smiley face. If you care about thanksgiving.
Andy
Perhaps he’s feeling the same way… my girlfriend didn’t wish me a Happy Thanksgiving. Each one waiting for the other to respond first.
Kate
I was going to say what Andy said…maybe he’s sitting there thinking, “Why hasn’t she wished me a happy Thanksgiving?”
I might also worry that something had happened? Is it possible he had some sort of family emergency, car trouble, etc.? Are you friendly with his family to the point where you could find out if he’s been in touch? After eighteen months, it would not be at all weird to reach out to him and ask if all is well.
kiki
I texted him a happy thanksgiving cartoon in the am and then called him twice. he didn’t pick up either time
Andy
At least he knows you’re thinking of him. Why he hasn’t responded back, I have no clue.
Sherri
Is he still in the US?
kiki
he may be ten miles away for all i know, his exact plans were up in the air the last time we spoke. But its not me right, you guys would feel like crap right? Because i feel like absolute crap
Kai
Try to find something else to think about keep yourself busy and stay away from the phone, it causes anxiety.
1. When he does reach you, don’t overload him with questions about what happened, just calmly ask if he’ okay and if he enjoyed thanksgiving.. the key with him being MIA is to listen to why he was MIA.
2. DEF do NOT keep blowing his phone up, he can see you’re trying to contact him. Just in case his phone is off, leave him a voicemail, “Hey, -name insert- Just wanted to wish you and your family a happy thanksgiving and let you know I was thinking of you. Talk with soon, Good night!” Ball’s in his court, you left a VM and a text, no excuse not contact you, even if the phone is broken, he can check vm.
Good luck!
Kate
You are right to be worried and feel like crap. I certainly would, but it also seems extremely unlikely that he would just ghost on you after 18 months and if you guys weren’t having some sort of issue the last time you spoke, I can’t imagine that he would take this long to respond without good reason.
Vanessa
You haven’t spoken to him in days…ok. But for him to not update you about what city he’s in is super weird. You don’t even know where on earth (literally) your own long term bf is?? Hmm, very different relationship than I would be in.
kiki
i don’t know its one i want to be in either
olivia
I would feel pretty upset as well, depends how important the day is for him.
kiki
i didn’t need a big production. but he could have taken twenty seconds to send a quick text back
Marsha
Maybe you can talk to him later. That sucks that he didn’t respond, but maybe he was extremely busy and could not pick up the phone and/or contact you some other way. I hope it works out!
kiki
He called and texted finally at 1230 in the morning. You know the day after. I am going to attempt to speak to him today. he is going to have no excuse other than he “was busy” but meanwhile i was extremely upset and went to bed in tears.
kiki
and i had already gone to bed by the time he tried to contact me. I was upset and tired.
Amy S
Hi. I think hes making it clear you are not a priority. You make it clear too. This is not acceptable relationship behaviour, put it to him, if he doesnt understand or admit he is willing to change/ try then u have your answer and its up to you to walk from this if he isnt making you happy. Personally I agree a short text is nothing even when you are busy so no its not good enough. And it shouldnt be you that initiates a real man knows this dont be fooled into thinking its your call here. Good luck. x
caetru
The fact that he didn’t respond to your text or phone calls in a day or less to say happy Thanksgiving while travelling to “who knows where” is hardly completely unforgivable. Actually it seems to be a fairly small thing. Have there been other things going on that makes this so upsetting to you? Do you even know what time zone he’s in or what his work schedule is? Maybe he was responding as soon as he received your messages after all. Don’t go throwing the baby out with the bathwater until you speak to him on the phone, not through text! To be in this type of relationship, you need to be completely confident in your self and your relationship or your insecurities will ruin it.
It’s ironic, I was annoyed when my bf wished me a happy Thanksgiving the night before when saying good night, feeling that he was blowing me off for the entire thanksgiving day. I called him and of course that wasn’t the case and we had a great convo and all was well. I read way too much into the text because I was feeling insecure that his ex-wife was going to be at his thanksgiving dinner (with their son) and I have been having issues with her and boundaries since he and I started dating (long story).
V
When you talk to him again, try to keep your emotions in check. You have every right to be upset, however, put yourself in his shoes. If you did something to upset him, would you respond well to him yelling at you? I don’t think anyone would. You can express your displeasure without getting overly emotional. Don’t badger him with a bunch of questions either, no one likes to get interrogated. Ignore his first couple of attempts to try and reach out then on the 4th attempt, tell him why you were upset. Do so calmly and rationally
Kate
What did he say when he finally contacted you?
Kim
My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. We both work on seperate crew ship so we hardly get to see each other. I’ve been on vacation for the past three months and I’ve finally gotten the chance to see where he lives but he never introduced me to his family who lives 30 minutes away. The other day he came home for thanks giving and he didn’t even called or text me. Whenever I talk to him about stuff like that he keep saying am pressuring him. I don’t know what else to do. Please help me.
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