both my BF and I are abuse survivors. And I'm not sure what to do here…?


Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice both my BF and I are abuse survivors. And I'm not sure what to do here…?

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    Samia

    My bf was abused as a child by his extremely violent sociopathic father. He was severely beaten up, ridiculed and humiliated and told he’d never amount to anything.

    I, on the other hand, went through sexual abuse and severe neglect and abandonment.

    Many years later I’ve been through years and years of therapy and I’m in a fairly good place now, although I still have my emotional scars. My bf has never been to therapy and isn’t really open to doing so. He is pretty much a workaholic and he seems to feel intense shame if he fails at even the tiniest little thing. He can also be really grandiose at times in the way he talks about his plans and his abilities. He’s insecure underneath and at times he questions why I even want to be with him.

    One of the most problematic aspects is that he simply can’t admit the tiniest failure or difficulty. Yesterday he snapped at me. I told him sounded down and asked if he’s OK. He snapped: “It’s nothing to share. Just business stuff.” He was clearly extremely troubled. He is self-employed and I think he is experiencing financial problems to some degree with one of his businesses.

    With somebody like this, who just won’t go to therapy or even open up to loved ones, is there any hope at all?



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