This topic contains 11 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Raven 3 months, 1 week ago.
January 12, 2018 at 8:06 pm #678562
i have not had ANYONE ask to meet up with me in i don’t know how long…
i just get indefinite texters…
i’ve been texting – just b.s., small talk nonsense – with this guy going on two weeks now and that’s my limit…
on my profile, i specifically wrote i do not like texting and i hope to meet up within two weeks or i’ll disappear…
and yet this continues
January 12, 2018 at 8:07 pm #678563
is it me? am i doing something to encourage this?
i don’t want to get someone to ask me out, i feel it defeats the point…if i have to ask i’ve already lost that battle…
what can i do differently?January 12, 2018 at 8:49 pm #678565
First, your lying on your profile. Do not give out your number and text, keep the conversation on the sire and if they don’t ask to meet within a a few exchanges, drop them!
Second, get away from the computer/phone and actually MEET MEN in real life as much as possible so you can know within a few minutes if its worth getting to know them better. Talk to men anywhere and everywhere! While getting your oil changed, eating lunch at a counter, shopping, doing a hobby/activity, join meetup, coed sports…this is the BEST way to interact, develop social and communication skills and possibly even find a guy who finds you, gasp, interesting.
Lastly, do the OPPOSITE of what your doing and you may possible get a different result. Like they say “a form of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again yet expecting a different result” In a nutshell, if its not working for you do something different!January 12, 2018 at 9:01 pm #678566
Ok… so we have special needs daters… that say they won’t text past a few weeks, but keep texting past two weeks and wonder why guys are doing it?January 12, 2018 at 10:04 pm #678573
lol, no i say i won’t text past a few weeks, and don’t text past a few weeks. if that time passes, i tell them it’s been nice but i don’t like indefinite texters and block them. that’s been how it’s going, but i don’t know how else to get this going. even on the site, it is the same. so yes, i can stop entertaining guys on the site just as i can stop entertaining guys via text, but it amounts to the same – no one asking to meet up.
i think i will just try the old fashioned way of meeting guys, and give up on the dating sites. but it seems like a lot of women get guys to meet up, and it isn’t working for me.January 12, 2018 at 11:07 pm #678577
I think you should review your online dating profile. You want it to be fun, relaxed, positive, intelligent and feminine. I don’t think you should be stating you don’t like texting and will disappear. That comes across as a bit hostile and uptight. Focus on what you DO want and positive things instead. You can know you’ll disappear after 2 weeks but take it out your profile.January 12, 2018 at 11:13 pm #678579
“You want it to be fun, relaxed, positive, intelligent and feminine.”
wouldn’t THAT be lying on my profile? lol jk
actually, my profile is very positive except for the last sentence that says “- i am just not big on texting and if i fade out it’s nothing personal…’ i think it’s worded very kindlyJanuary 12, 2018 at 11:38 pm #678580
Hi-“f I fade out,it is nothing personal”- Of course it is personal,you don’t fade if you are happy with the person/connection. I would drop that whole line-or say “I am not big on texting except for the logistics of making plans to meet etc.”January 12, 2018 at 11:40 pm #678581
My profile said, “If we chat on the site and both feel there’s enough in common, I’d prefer to meet sooner rather than later and prefer to talk, either on the phone or even better, face to face. If I could disconnect the text function on my mobile, I would, LOL!”
That pretty much weeded out all the time wasters and I met some great guys who loved the humour about ditching texting and agreed with my approach to phone use. One of them is now my boyfriend. You have to find a way to state things in the positive and use a bit of fun. When you state what you don’t want really emphatically, it’s funny but you seem to get more of it.January 13, 2018 at 12:23 am #678586
I think Mel gives good advice. And I don’t know how many dating sites you’ve tried but you might want to try more than one. Also try to join clubs and meet people in person, in addition to *some* online sites.January 13, 2018 at 1:36 am #678589
Mel’s text is really good, I would use that instead. Just don’t tell people you’ll fade. That kind of sounds like you’re in it for free food on first dates and then you’re gone.
Also, try looking into meetup.com. Yoi can pick your interests and meet people with the same interests. Most people are there to just socialise but it’s a great place to meet good guys. This was by far the place I met the most guys would actually date because they were interesting, single, treated me well, etc. And because it’s not a dating thing ing, they are happy to be friends with you besides the dating opportunities.January 13, 2018 at 1:54 am #678592
So stop texting/engaging with time wasters…