Anyone ever dated an ADD/ADHD guy?

Stop trying so hard. You don’t have to support him or improve the relationship. You’re not his mommy or his therapist. Whether he’s ADD or not, you have standards. Or you should do.

Why do you need to have his approval so badly that you sit and wait for texts??

Everything you need to know is in Eric’s posts on texting.

with love, Stefanie

I understand how that feels.

How often do you see him?

It’s OK to miss him. Haven’t seen mine in two weeks and I miss him too.

People with ADHD also tend to self medicate… Especially with marijuana, as it slows down their thoughts.

My fwb claims he has ADHD since childhood and that when he was put on medication he sufered a lot cause it made him sluggish. Now that he s been smoking pot daily since 15 years, he says Its much better, helps him relax, sleep better, organize his thoughts. He says he is not addicted but that the life wouldnt be the Same without it. But then again, he sometimes gets these bouts of anger for no apparent reason or for a reason which is not worth it, so i wonder if thats the consequence or withdrawal symptom. Not sure if there is a natural cure for ADHD or if Its even a ‘real’ disease, or simply a way to call insecure nervous people..

I am curious about this topic, since my man told me he has ADHD too.
Relationship wise he is doing fine because he really gives me a lot of love, never goes MIA, completely stopped drinking socially for a while when I told him my ex drank excessively. We met oversea and he wants to get me an immigrant visa. He is never good at dealing with paperwork and all those bureaucratic crap, but he tries his best a even I need to help him with organizing sometimes.
He said he did have some anger issues as a teen, especially he was bullied for his smaller built, but his dad took him to gym and he learned martial art. Working out is a good way to regulate minds I think.

I am now more concerned about his career. He majors in art and loves to create, getting really hyper when he is full of ideas. He would tell me all those projects he wants to do but changes directions completely next month. He says all I need to do is trust him because he wants to take care of me, but the worrier in me is scared that his ADHD will be an issue. (He has a stable 9 to 5 job now, but he doesn’t like it)

My ADHD ex always said he wanted to take care of me and have me stay at home with the kids. Well he ended up hating working for others so he started his own company and I had to step in and help while I was working FT and raising our two kids because his income was inconsistent. He ALWAYS had an excuse, other than himself, why things wouldn’t turn out the way he planned.

Because of his flakiness, I ended up being the breadwinner, managing the house, taking care of the kids and all their activities, cooking, cleaning etc. So yes, I became his mom. And then he wasn’t happy and started relationships with other women behind my back. When I found out because he was bad at covering his tracks, I was devastated and then left. So that was my marriage. I’m 2 years out of it and I will NEVER date an ADHD man again. I have peace in my life! No offense to anyone who has it, but that experience has soured me. During my dating phase, I met a guy I was very attracted to and we went on several dates. And then it clicked, he was similar to my ex and I asked if he has ADHD. He was shocked I could tell and said he did and always had to struggle with it. That was our last date, I just couldn’t do it.

If there’s a forum for just ADHD, that’s good. I didn’t ever get advice or help until after I left him and realized what a mess he was.

I raised a son with ADHD…he had it heavy.

Two things are key for an adult. The recognition of the difficulties and the honest effort to help yourself.

First is to understand that you are not functioning as other people. You need assistance to deal with that. While street drugs may seem like an answer it is the easy way out and also is illegal. If I were you I would try different medications under a doctor’s care to help yourself. Do not get discouraged and give up with one or two trials (hallmark of ADD) but continue to work with different medications until you find one that helps you the best.

Also, there are tricks to assist you. My son loved to wear a watch with an alarm to remind him of different things…now he uses his smart phone to remind him of different obligations and activities…his short term memory is poor…but he found an aid he can work with.

Join a ADD group…believe me it can make a difference with insight into what is happening to you and how to cope along with understanding and tricks to assist.

These things can make a big difference for you and your self esteem.

Yes I did, lasted almost 4 weeks lol. No more! I ended it. He was very kind and interesting, but was talking all the time and making me tired a lot. He was also self medicating himself. I got tired of him, because he asked me the same things several times, so he had a bad memory, as he could not really focus on anything. He used cbd oil instead of pot.

Sophia, get your dignity and leave this man. Please don’t do anything with him.

I feel everyone’s pain dating an ADHD guy. I don’t know if it’s him just being an ass hole or his ADHD symptoms. When I first met my guy friend, he was outgoing and adventurous. After a few months, he didn’t want to hangout with me and he rather be partying and traveling. I didn’t mine him going out at all, I do encourage everyone to enjoy life, but he completely neglected me. He would only contacted me when it was convenient for him.

I believe like he needed that excitement and adrenalin rush all the time. I began to feel something was wrong because he would never communicate me, he seems to be distracted everytime I wanted to talk to him, and his room would be disorganized. I was becoming needy and worrisome. I suffer with anxiety and everytime I tried to talk to him about our issues, he would rush out impatiently that he had work to do.

One day, I found ADHD medication in his room. I was afraid to bring it up in person, so i ended up texting him about it. Now, I haven’t seen him for over a month and he cut contacts with me. He blocked my text messages and number. I’m devastated and heartbroken. If he had given me a chance, we could’ve worked out everything . I want to believe its his upbringing and symptoms, but I’m started to think this is really who he is.

Any advice? Thanks

Having ADD myself I’d say the guy is not texting because he’s not interested. When sth. or someone interests us that activity/person would get our whole attention…at least for some time. It doesn’t matter if he has ADHD or not, he still has a brain. it all comes down to a quastion of priorities and respect. You deserve better

Fell onto this forum by accident in a hunt for good articles to send my significant other as they say it helps them understand some difficulties we face *together* in our relationship. It has been an overall sickening read. Amalgimating character flaws with ADHD symptoms has made me, someone who has been diagnosed in adulthood and carries significant traumas from parents and numerous teachers not willing to take the time to actually speak to me rather than jump to steriotyped conclusions of my character, remarkably worried for anyone else stumbling upon this thread.
Talk to your partner about your issues and consult professionals about the legitamate illness (how this is even a speculation is beyond beggar’s belief). This thread read like a step by step of the insecurities I have felt my whole life – people misunderstanding my short comings as inherant evils of my spirit.
If you are in a relationship with someone that has a mental difficulty of any kind it is your right to not want to dedicate your time to the difficulties that brings, but you should never treat that as a *failure* of the other half.
I dated someone with BPD and it was a very toxic relationship – because of BOTH of us. I was not in a position to support and understand their needs.
It is difficult out there. Be kind, supportive and understanding to yourself AND to others. Speculate not – there’s material out there that is quite easy to find.

TL;DR: People with ADHD have bad traits; bad people have ADHD traits. Don’t follow the ex concessis that all with ADHD are bad.