am i wrong ? open to any advice


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This topic contains 15 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Tina 4 days, 5 hours ago.

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  • #671096 Reply

    kristi

    i have been talking to this guy for about 4 months now. we never felt the need to label what we are but to the outside eye people assume we are dating. He invited me to an event with a bunch of his friends the other night, asking me to be his date. The issue with this is that he did not speak to me the entire time we were there. Which normally would not have bothered me except for the fact i barely knew anyone that was there. I knew some of his friends but they were ll with their dates so i did not want to cling to them the whole night. Other girls came up to me and even asked me who i was there with because he did not even care to check on me or talk to me. so after a while i started to get drunk and instead of just saying whos date i was i would say ” im supposed to be here with * but he hasn’t spoken to me all night so”..i do admit that was childish but why invite me if you intended to leave me alone the entire night!! Those girls ended up going back to him and repeating what i had said and he came up to me towards the end of the night telling me he was leaving. He said he had heard what i said and didn’t care and that he was going out to a bar with his friends. keep in mind i said nothing mean about him i simply said the truth. he ignored me all night and then left me at the place. so i went home alone he did not try to contact me at all even the next day. So two days later i sent him a message asking for an explanation. “can you explain what happened on Saturday? if you did not want me there you did not have to invite me. but to invite me and ignore me the entire night was just unnecessary.””. he then came back at me saying that he was not going to deal with my bs and that he cant believe i was talking about him to other people. i apologized for that i told him i should have just gone to him instead but i was just angry and uncomfortable but that does not justify what he did. i would not have said those things if he did not ignore me the entire night. He then started making fun of me saying it was only 15 minutes….when it was 2 full hours of me just standing there. It was a complete misunderstanding and he does not feel the need to apologize at all. so i said that there was no need to continue this conversation since we will not agree and he just ignored me. What should i do we havent talked since?

    #671109 Reply

    Phillygirl

    He was a complete turd.

    Why would you even want to speak to someone like this ever again???When someone shows you who they really are, and that person is rude, inconsiderate, and without any class-it’s past time to move on.

    I would have left without saying a word. He would be history and I never would have contacted him, or spoken to him again.

    I really don’t understand why girls put up with this nonsense. It’s juvenile and ridiculous.

    #671111 Reply

    Emma

    You shouldn’t have talked to others, that was out of line and not very smart, but this does not remove the fact of how he treated you.

    If he was comfortable treating you this way, he would not admit his fault. Those things go together. That’s why you have enough flags to drop this guy. If you don’t drop him and continue to cling to him, you’d get into situations of this type again and again.

    Understand that it is his character that is behind his actions. Not you. And why would you want a guy of this character whom you barely know? There are no other guys? Why did you invest so soon in a total stranger.

    Be smarter and think “outside” of yourself, so to speak. Think in normal human terms. Then you’d know what to do right away and would not be asking “what do to”.

    What to do with this type of people is nothing. Let them mistreat someone else. LOL

    #671125 Reply

    Amanda

    It makes you look bad to talk about him. But this guy is a loser. And honey I am sorry but you are learning a hard lesson on what it is like to date a guy who “doesn’t need to label it”. Those guys don’t label it because they don’t take you seriously, and the way he behaved is proof of that. To leave you an go out with his friends: total dick!

    #671133 Reply

    kristi

    Thank you all, i do feel pathetic and i probably should have just let it go. but i wanted it to be known that i was upset with the way he treated me. He never usually acts like that and i feel like he just manipulated me into thinking it as my fault.

    #671144 Reply

    Phillygirl

    A strong woman in an emotionally healthy headspace doesn’t care what a loser like this thinks. She just realizes he’s a waste of time and immediately moves on.

    Why waste your breath on someone who can’t even offer common courtesy. I like the way Amanda explained it. She nailed it.

    #671145 Reply

    peggy

    Your question was “what should you do next?” Answer: absolutely nothing that has anything to do with him…

    #671146 Reply

    Stephen G

    Perhaps he thought that he was just escorting you to this concert? Women are infamous for reading way,way too much into things. Also did you know that men find women boring? The main reason men don’t initiate contact or reply to texts 2 seconds after receiving them is not because they are playing games as women fondly suppose. No, they just can’t tolerant women’s inane conversation.

    #671147 Reply

    kristi

    Well Stephen, this was not a concert, this was a an event his friends had planned that he asked me to be his date to. I don’t think I am in anyway boring and don’t need him to constantly be around. This situation is very different.

    #671162 Reply

    rachel

    Stephen, i can’t for the life of me understand why someone who clearly hates women chooses to lurk on a predominately female forum! I for one actually find your quotes funny, not sure that is your intention, but I’m from the UK so sarcasm comes naturally, therefore I can see the funny side. sadly I expect you find it all very true. seriously, get some help for yourself as you are way too bitter to be happy.

    sorry op, my advice to you would be to leave him to it, if he honestly can’t see where he went wrong then he’s just a prat! you’ve apologised, no need to do that again, let him have his sulk and when he finally comes out of it you can decide if you want to continue

    #671163 Reply

    Haha

    Because Stephen is secretly gay and hates women and has no life.

    #671167 Reply

    redcurleysue

    Two wrongs do not make a right. You were wrong to speak against him to people around. You know that. What you should have done is be direct…you needed to take him on the side and tell him that you thought this date would be different and would he please either take you home of call a cab.

    Moving forward you do not date people who do not know how to treat you in a crowd of their friends.

    #671355 Reply

    Sophia

    Stephen being gay is no secret.

    #671393 Reply

    Tina

    “I wanted it to be known that i was upset with the way he treated me” – The only person who should know you are upset is HIM, your guy. You telling him that via his friends is wrong.

    So I guess you can’t do much now but you can learn from the situation to react differenlty the next time. You could walk up to him and join his conversation. You could say something like: “Hey, you want to introduce me around here?” in a very light and flirty tone. It might bring you a totally different outcome. Later when you are alone you could still say: “I didn’t appreciate the way you treated me, I felt like left alone …” but NOT in front of or to his friends.

    So again, I don’t know why he behaved in a way he did. You are the one who needs to see if you can be with a person like that or not. But he is probably super mad and will have a hard time forgiving you. What you can do is apologize for your part but that’s it.

    #671477 Reply

    Kristi

    Tina,
    I did apologize for the way I acted but i expected some soft of apology from him as well for putting me in that position to begin with. When I last spoke to him we ended on bad terms and he will message be occasionally but we don’t talk like we used to. I’m not sure if he is continuing conversation with me because he feels bad and is trying to be my friend or because he wants to move on from this but doesn’t know how. I also don’t want to ask him because there is no sense in bringing up more drama. He is basically acting like we were never together.

    #671514 Reply

    Tina

    Because you were never together. That’s what a not labeled relationship is: nothing.

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