After split have a party we are going to as friends – advice please


Home Forums How To Get My Ex Back After split have a party we are going to as friends – advice please

This topic contains 17 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Ellie 1 week, 2 days ago.

Viewing 18 posts - 1 through 18 (of 18 total)
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  • #603203 Reply

    Ellie

    Hi we have been together 1 year, I’ve become a bit needy , and been nagging him and I’m a jealous person and insecure- however after he ended it 2 weeks ago I’ve realised I’m actually ok and starting to get over him a bit. He has indicated he would like to try again – we have a party that a joint friend is hosting we are going to it on Saturday. I don’t intend drinking alcohol and thought just be independent and social and not discuss us getting back together.

    I don’t know what I want right now and need to be sure this is going to work – any advice welcomed xx

    #603215 Reply

    L

    So after only two weeks you are no longer, jealous, insecure nagging and needy?

    #603226 Reply

    Newbie

    I have the same feeling as L. Its just 2 weeks. The break up is too fresh and its good that youre feeling better. But youre posting this in the get my ex back section and your idea on how to do it is act independent, no talking about getting back together. I really doubt you have the mindset to pull that off already. I would skip the party just to avoid getting confused.
    Its a good thing you realized you acted needy and nagging but most of the times the acting needy comes from a place of insecurity. Give yourself some more time to heal

    #603248 Reply

    Linda

    I agree with the ladies, if the breakup happened because of the issues you mentioned they didn’t just go away in two weeks. I would suggest that you don’t go, especially because you mentioned you weren’t going to drink. Does mean you are afraid to lash out at him if you do get drunk?

    #603292 Reply

    Nat

    If you still have feelings for your ex it is better not to face them until those feelings are completely gone (months and months in reality). If he changes his mind, he’d contact you.

    #603303 Reply

    Peggy

    If you two are going to meet and “talk”-a party is not the place to do it-big potential for more drama. Like the others said,two weeks can’t have totally reformed you. Skip the party and tell him to contact you in a month if he still wants to talk. Then work on your issues and see if you hear from him later on, or if you even want to.

    #603340 Reply

    Crisula

    absolutely…skip the party

    believe me…he’ll notice..
    he’s expecting the needy, insecure girl to be there

    bet you get a call! 😉

    Tell him you were busy..that’s it..no explanation..leave him wondering

    tell him right now you need time for yourself. Keep it polite and simple
    “anyway…on my way out..chat another time maybe..bye”
    Click

    go nc
    If he wants you back bad enough…he’ll be there when you’re ready to talk

    #603414 Reply

    kaye

    Apparently Ellie the only one you are fooling with this we dated a year and he ended it 2 weeks ago but I’m starting to get over him bit is yourself!! We’re not buying it. Two weeks and you’re already agreeing to go on a “date” with him? The guy drops you and now he’s talking about trying again and you just jump? Make him work for it!! Tell him you don’t think it’s a good idea, that it’s too soon to be doing things “as friends.”

    #603431 Reply

    Ellie

    I’m starting to get over it, not over him yet…. We had a talk a couple of days ago , said he’s not sure he can make me happy.. then said he needed a shower at mine before going home , he was walking around naked upstairs , I didn’t say anything but not sure if he’s after an ego boost – we are in our forties !! Not sure he can make me happy either but don’t think he’s considered that , is he playing with my mind? Did he think his naked body would make me swoon ? Thanks for the above advice xxxxx

    #603436 Reply

    Newbie

    Oh Ellie. Why in the world would you let an ex shower in your house? Its not his job to think he can make you happy, but yours. Stop talking to him, go no contact. Take crisula’s advice. Yes i have the feeling he is playing you

    #603441 Reply

    Ellie

    Thanks , he is texting me constantly but I’m now ignoring the texts xx

    #603459 Reply

    Algo

    Why was he in your house, exactly?

    #603464 Reply

    Ellie

    He came from work on the day we arranged to go out to talk , when he arrived he was a bit too familiar asked if he could shower x

    #603467 Reply

    Ellie

    maybe it’s him that has the issues , funny how I thought was me, We had an argument because he compliments his exes on Facebook and he was looking at the profile of one of them in front of me , I said it was rude and disrespectful and if he must do it then do it when I’m not sitting next to him x

    #603477 Reply

    Phillygirl

    You need to work on your self esteem and insecurities before you can be with anyone. That takes time, self-discovery (and awareness) and no small amount of work.

    You don’t get to that place in two weeks or two months.

    For many people they need the help of a professional (therapist or psychiatrist) and there is no shame in that.

    I don’t think it’s wise to be talking to, or spending any time with this guy. You need to go full no contact until you sort yourself out.

    If you see him you will only end up repeating old patterns, and he may just try to string you along for FWB.

    We each own our own emotional health. Your insecurities are yours to figure out and resolve. You can’t do that with this nonsense going on.

    #603478 Reply

    Phillygirl

    Oh boy,really? Your last post actually leads me to think he’s an ass. I would have gotten up, not said a word…and LEFT.

    I would be done with him

    #603481 Reply

    Maria

    Everyone here is right on– 2 weeks and everything is incredibly raw! This isn’t a good idea. Sometimes reconcilations happen, but they tend to happen either immediately (someone said something they didn’t mean/ rashly ended it in the middle of a terrible argument) or very slowly. I’m in the process of what looks like a reconcilation with an ex and its been 8 months! 8 months of both of very carefully evaluating how we could do things differently moving forward, working on our communication skills and working on ourselves. To be honest, I could have predicted we’d probably end up back together and he has been angling for it for a while, but I’ve been very cautious in taking my time. And even after 8 months, I’m still a bit nervous and know there are no guarantees it will work.
    At two weeks I was still at the crying in bed for hours at a time phase. I’m glad you are doing a bit better than I was apparently, but you really haven’t had time to reflect on what went wrong and if it’s even fixable.

    #603490 Reply

    Ellie

    Thanks phillygirl and Maria, we broke up a few months prior as well I think I’ve loosened the ties a bit , if I heard my story from a friend I would say dump this ass ! Xx. Will update in couple of days but this has given me food for thought xx

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