afraid to talk to him


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This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  fwteinh 11 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #14806 Reply

    fwteinh

    Hi guys
    I broke with him 1,5 months ago after a 3 year relationship,cause of his commiting issues.i asked him not to contact with me unless he was ready to make extra step with me. We were in no contact for a month and a week ago he past from my home,later the same night he “like” a post of mine and the next morning he text me sms “Good morning (sorry if i bother you)i wanted to see you. If you are on your Easter vacation have fun.” I never answered back because i think that if he wants me back he would be braver than the guilty text. Does anyone can give me ideas ? Its been a week and he did not try anything else. Is he just missing me or he is scared of do the extra mile? Help!

    #14808 Reply

    LAgirl

    I agree it wasn’t the most ‘smooth’ approach to get your attention, yet it seems he is making an effort.

    What are you afraid of?

    Of course he hasn’t texted again – you ignored him. No one wants to look like a fool and keep texting someone who will not respond.

    See what he has to say. Perhaps he wants to get back together and commit to you?

    We can’t read his mind. Talk to him and if you do not like what he has to say, then move on.

    #14810 Reply

    fwteinh

    Thank you LAgirl for reply. I am afraid that he made these childish actions because he is not sure. By talk to him and asking he will get that i still wait for him. They always do know.and then he will take more than a month to miss me and take it to the next step. I am tired of watch and wait. I know it will take me a long time to move on. So by not talk to him i gain in 2 places. First if he cares more than “miss her”he will find the courage to be more direct. Second if he just missed me or just wanted to see me and take the reassurance then he will disappear once more again. He did it in the past 1,5 year ago,and with my blessings for that matter. NO MORE. You know what i mean?

    #14823 Reply

    LAgirl

    Well, then I do not understand why you posted the question.
    Your original post asked alot of questions that would require a MIND READER. No one knows what he is thinking or why he is doing or not doing certain things…

    I hope you were not expecting someone to truly give you an answer on that.

    It sounds as if you have already made the decision NOT to respond and to not get caught up and involved with him again. Move on and don’t worry about it.
    Obviously you broke up with him for a good reason… move on and let it go.

    #14825 Reply

    fwteinh

    No i did not made up my mind…thats the problem… i felt so much better before the trio of his actions….and i know its really foolish to ask for a Pythias kind of answer..None is a mind reader…anyone who loves have hopes until the diminish of that love…and i was looking more of a ” oh yes that happened to me or my sister/friend/daughter,hang in there…” kind of conversation…..Any how thank you for the time answer back at me. i really appreciate.

    #14833 Reply

    LAgirl

    You are welcome – I’m sorry you are not getting what you expected to hear. Perhaps other women on here can share such experiences with you.

    I WILL say that in general, people who attempt to get back together after a break up rarely end up working. The things that broke you up in the first place, typically present themselves all over again.

    I get the impression you have this fantasy that he is going to chase you and I now question if you truly meant to break up OR if you did this to see if he WOULD come running after you. Since he hasn’t acted the way you wanted him to, you are now confused as to how to respond.

    Stop trying to control the outcome and situation.
    If he wants to truly be with you, he will tell you.

    I still believe he may have reached out to you to have a conversation. It was a lame way to do it, yet my guess from you write, you are both pretty young and inexperienced?

    If you want to put this one to bed, talk to him. See if he has changed his mind about commitment with you. If not, then move on.

    That would be the mature way to handle it rather than wishing he would do it a different way.

    I hope things work out in a way that makes you happy.

    #14834 Reply

    LAgirl

    By the way, I am not sure why you believe speaking with him will look like you are ‘waiting around.’

    You are simply being polite and giving him a chance to speak his peace.

    How would it be different if he came knocking on your door? Would you also worry he saw you as just ‘waiting around’ for him.

    I am not suggesting you jump at getting back together – just hear him out if you are wanting to give him another chance.

    May I be so bold as to say you ARE “waiting around’ for him to come back to you?
    At least the fact that you put so much thought into a simple text/communication would imply you are; and now you want to cover up that fact by ACTING as if you don’t care he was in contact with you…. be honest :-)

    #14913 Reply

    fwteinh

    Hi LAgirl…thank once more for you respond. No we are no inexpedient ,we are both in our 40es…i sound like this probably from my lack of expressing well in a foreign language…hahahaha bless you…he sounds like that because he acts like a teenager…but you are right in some of your remarks..i wait for him to chase me cause that is what will do if he wants to make an adult movement to our relationship…all his acts shows that he just miss me and just want me to come back as we were….also you said it all:”If he wants to truly be with you, he will tell you”. The funny thing is that all this happened a week ago and yesterday after our chat he passed from my house twice and left a package he order for me from the internet 1,5 months ago…he left it to the car at 1:30 at night.He makes these lame acts and he and only he knows how he feels..any how i did not respond to this act again..i decided that unless he CALLS ME on the phone and make an actual invitation to talk and figure out things, i will not respond.My heart waits for him but i live my life..no matter if i talk about this i still have a solid and clear view…THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR ALL YOU TIME.Hope the best for you.

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