9 Months Dating- Do I accept nothing less or do I stay and be patient?

I’ve been dating this man for 9 months. Every single moment with him has been cloud nine. People say you meet people in your life who can bring something out of you and he was truly the person that brought out a different side of me. When I was with him all my problems seems to vanish. He was really an escape from reality. Every single moment with him was always fun times, great laughs and amazing moments. Although he has a very stressful job which he is responsible for the success of the company and basically is the face of the company he still manages to put some time aside to spend 3-4 days out of the week together. From the 9 months we were dating we have never made it official. He calls me almost every single day and text me every single day. We never had an complicated situation until recently…

He had went to the doc to get his broken finger checked as well as his liver and ect.. checked out but when the results came in he called me to tell him his doctor told him he had Chlamydia. He mentioned he hasn’t got checked for over 1 1/2 years.. During this time he had to contact his ex also and tell her the news and to get checked as well. At this point im an emotional wreck because I needed someone there for me. I had gotten upset and had an emotion break down telling him he wasn’t there for me and the least he can do is check up on me back sending me a text the very least. He responded with, “Nothing else mattered today” “He was focus on working on his goal at work and he was able to meet 95% of it” At this point I’m crying my heart out on the phone and mind you he has never seen me like this… He responds with, “He’s not good with emotions, this is why he doesn’t get in relationships” At this point I tell him he is selfish and he doesn’t care for me and his excuses doesn’t sit well with me and I hang up on him because I feel like he isn’t acknowledging how I feel. He calls me again, I don’t answer he than sends me a text saying, “I’m sorry for not being there for you today. I didn’t have the second to be able to think about anything else today. I know I could be better than this, its just not my day. Have a good night.”

Next day I send him this long letter basically asking him I need someone who can be there for me emotionally and I need them and if not its better to part ways now before I get hurt. He doesn’t address my email right away, by this time I’m fed up. I send him this text, “We had lots of great laughs and memories in the past nine months, but I’m looking for someone who can be there for me emotionally and physically…its apparent it’s not you. This is why I’m going to have to say good bye. He texts me saying, “if you want ever want to talk, I will be there, I may not be that guy at the moment, but I am also not a bad person.” I don’t respond the next day he calls me, telling me that he needs to talk to me and if im free after work. Later that day, he tells me he will send me an email because its going to be tough for him to say it. Obviously he’s not good with his emotions. As you can see.

(email)

I agree with the time we spent together was pure bliss, it was a relief and an escape from reality. I have no regrets. Like I said before, you are able to bring out the best in me, make me do things that I don’t normally do on a regular basis without anyone twisting my arm even.. To find someone that understands me, have an idea of my next move, makes time together more enjoyable, not getting into arguments kept things more alive.

It really touched me when you decided to come over to see me and take care of me even when I didn’t ask for it… I felt like you cared for me greatly, and that proved to me that you are more than just a friend. Although we never made anything official, our connection surpasses all that as it doesn’t matter what status as official or unofficial, what mattered is that I was able to see you every Sunday night!

Time flew by, we took off like a free bird, not knowing where this will end or where this is all headed, I didn’t care as I truly enjoyed your company. I have my challenges, I am not good with dealing with emotions as you can see we have more laughter than tears! It became real, and I had to make a decision as I am unsure if I would be the one that will have time to be there for you. I feel you deserve much better, You set your expatiations and by hearing some of them I feel left out. I am really busy, as you know what GSM’s do, but with me I put my company pretty high up in my charts along with my business projects that are coming up… I just don’t want to disappoint you when I don’t respond to your txts in a timely manor or if I am just trying to focus on other things other than being with you.

When we were on the phone when you were not at your best, I really wanted to tell you that I really cared and I want to say things that would make you feel better even though I am not great at it, I had to pause as I didn’t want anyone to get hurt. .. I am a long term kind of person and don’t like moving around in relationships after dealing with my complicated past. If I get into a relationship I strongly feel the next person its going to be the one. I don’t feel that I am ready to commit to a serous relationship. Just not right now. I don’t think I could give the extra attention or the support that you need, I have to juggle business, family, and more business and I will only have time for someone that is super understanding of my time limits.

If I had it my way, I would love to be able to see you and hangout again, but because of the strong emotions I am not sure if that is even possible.. if we can’t remain friends and take a step back so we could still keep the connection going somehow in a less expecting manor, I am really thankful, grateful and blessed to have met you.

My mind tells me that I need to let go because I shouldn’t accept anything less. But my heart tells me to stay and be patient with him and be understanding. What do I do?