1 night stand with a Virgo Man

Are you the Bre who posted about “2nd chances ” ????? a few days ago .

Oh my, I feel curious as to how on a one night stand you even got into the conversation about what he was looking for. Did you push that?

Because every one I have ever had ended in breakfast and light chit chat.

If you are looking for a relationship, stop sleeping with men when you first meet them and then asking where it is going!

Also, it seems like he is long distance, which is never easy.

I say end it – this guy is turning this into an out of town fling. Which many can do, but many cannot.

You said you don’t engage in casual flings but you do, you had a one night stand. So basicially he isn’t going to take your word for it he’s gonna try to have a casual fling with you.

Second, he said he doesn’t want a relationship. When you said you don’t want casual, he changed the wording to go with the flow so that you would agree to do that, they mean basically the same thing. However, he is playing on the fact that you probably won’t stick to your boundary because you already were casual with him, and you already are agreeing to go with the flow.

He is being clear as day with you with what he wants, casual sex. You engaged in casual sex 1x, he wants more, he changed the wording so you would agree to casual sex.

It’s simple.

You aren’t gonna trick him into relationship by having casual sex with him when he has already decided he doesn’t want one. He has an escape clause for when he ends it with you and he will use it.

If you want to continue casual go for it. If not, move on.

You had a one night stand, no big deal. Let it go. This man is not going to believe you that you never did this before, he just won’t. And he doesn’t seem to be looking for anything serious so let it go and start over with a clean slate with a guy and employ better dating methods if you want long term relationships :)

Not judging you at all, it’s not a big deal, I only think investing more in this guy isn’t going to get you what you want.

Guys, this thread was started over a year ago.

Ok, so I also have a problem with virgo fwb thing. At first he said he was just looking for a good time and that he had just got out of a serious relationship. I’m a Scorpio woman, but I hardly have serious relationships unless it feels real. ( In my life I’ve truly loved only 2 guys but I have dated more than 20 n only slept with three incl him. )
We slept together for the first time and he disappeared on me for a month and I got mad and decided to move on but he just showed up and apologisedover and over again, I then forgave him and we slept together again then he started talking about him wanting a meaningful relationship and stepping out of his comfort zone, he said it twice (in his car and when we were at his home) every time he said it like he wants me to say the same n he kept looking for a reaction but I said nothing coz I’m not ready for a relationship. Thing is I don’t wanna miss out on what could be good for me but there’s no spark and because of the disappearance I can’t trust him. He apologised so many times but I still feel there is more to him than just the sweet side. I don’t feel connected to him and I find him too “clean/innocent” for me which bores me but deep down I do like him and I’m scared I could missout on love coz as much as he bores me I don’t ever wwanna be without him… but I need to know does he like me or does he want the meaningful relationship with someone else or did he say that to play me a fool and drop me like he did

Que it’s confusing when you post of the end of someone else’s thread because people don’t know which is the new question.

Why bother with a man you feel no spark it connection with and who isn’t your type? Plus you don’t trust him and he bores you. Why are you even thinking about being with this man?!

If he bores you now, imagine how you’d feel after 20 years of marriage? Imagine what your sex life would be like if there’s no spark now?

This man isn’t a match for you at all.

Maybe don’t read the horoscope page so much.

I “wanna give you my opinion coz I think you wanna know”. lol

He vanished on you. After sex. This i not a small thing. You are right not to forget it. Saying sorry multiple times does not undo it. This is something he did knowingly.

You like him but it is not enough. You have a lot of red flags here. You posted here because you feel things can get worse and that you may get yourself dragged into yet another bad situation. ghe is not a “good” guy. He is a jerk by normal standards, but maybe not a complete bad a$$hole who would abuse you. So you’ve upgraded your dating habits lol. Move on and find a guy who would not vanish after sex. Screen them better. Take time to observe and pay attention. You are right about his disappearance, do not forgive such things, trust your gut and look for someone new. Keep him as a texting buddy is you need entertainment. lol

SEEKING ADVICE

I had a one night stand with a virgo man sometime in August 2019, from there on, we proceeded with our “Casual thing” for 2 months, before he asked me, “What we were” (this time, i had started having feelings for him) i told him, initially i was ok with fwbs. But i have started having feelings for him.

He bluntly told me he thought we were just fwbs… I told him that we can still be fwbs,I can manage my feelings(i had seen his mind games on his reply, lol, and so i played along) … then he told me that sudden change of mind was pretty fast. (when i said i am ok with fwbs).

Later on, we started connecting on a deeper level, i was the first one to profess my love for him, he just smiled and said he’s glad i told him. A week later, he told me he loves me but i “talk too much” lol, (i tend to talk alot when i am with the person i love, he is a very cool and reserved guy).

Fast forward, about 3 weeks later, he started acting cold and distant, not calling or texting as usual for like 2 days,(typical virgo guy) he didn’t return my texts, i confronted him via text asking him to tell me what’s going on.

He told me he is not ready for a serious relationship, and seems like that’s what i want,(i think this is my fault, he is a very slow guy when it comes to relationships, i couldn’t tell what got over me that i kept showing signals of wanting him to commit, i admit, i slightly pressured him) we stayed for some few days without talking, he came back asking for a second chance to treat me right.

We tried working out our differences, we started seeing each other again, but it wasn’t as perfect as before, i think the whole thing shuttered me. We started talking less, but when we meet, it’s fireworks… (honestly, he is a very good guy, with all the qualities i ever wanted in a man, except his mixed signals, argh!).

So, i told him we can only be fwbs,(i don’t want to get hurt, i tend to love with all my heart, typical aries) but if i get someone else, I’ll have to cut him off, he was hurt by this statement, and asked me if I’d want something else other than fwbs, i told him no, (deep down, i wanted him to be my man). Ok,i am just scared of his mixed signals. Honestly, i am not sure what he wants.

When asked, he says he’s not ready to date, yet he is always there of me, looks at me like he is seeing my soul, when we hang out, he pampers me and all…

I ever told him someone’s hitting on me, he said, “so you want to move on and leave me alone, all alone… lol, i asked him if he had a problem with that(lol, playing with his mind,he enjoys doing the same) he bluntly said,”but I’ll be all alone!,”

On Friday this week, we hanged out, it was amazing, he opened up about himself (he rarely does) i am afraid i have started having feelings for him once again…

I honestly want him to be mine, but i can’t profess my love for him, because he might tell me he is not ready, i just can’t handle rejection… what do you think, might he be having feelings for me?