Exactly How to Keep a Guy Interested: 10 Effortlessly Effective Ways post image

Let’s talk about what it takes to keep a man interested, like really interested, not just kind of into you… interested.

So you have no problem rousing a guy’s interest … but keeping him interested is a different story. Time and time again, they fall hard, but they don’t stick. You wonder if it’s you, if you’re doing something wrong.

I get tons of questions from women wanting to know the “strategy” or the “rules” to keeping a guy interested. But finding love isn’t like playing a tennis match.

If a relationship starts from a healthy place- both people are emotionally healthy, want the same thing, share the same values– then it will most likely last. If it starts off with a bad foundation, it probably won’t. At the end of the day, if you’re fundamentally incompatible or not on the same wavelength (meaning you don’t want the same kind of relationship), then it’s not going to work and no amount of rules is going to change that.

MORE: The Exact Reasons Men Lose Interest (And How To Fix It)

The good news is that you do have some degree of control here, and you can up your chances of getting love to stick. In this case you’ll know that if it doesn’t last, at least you know you did your best.

And with that, here is exactly how to keep a man interested in you:

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: When a Guy Withdraws… post image

So I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months now. At first, everything was amazing. We hit it off right away and during the first few weeks, he seemed super into me. He would text me things like, ‘I miss you’ and ‘Can’t wait to see you’ and on our second date he said he ‘never liked a girl so much after only two dates’. He was also super attentive and super sweet.

All this was great, but then he started to shift and lately has been acting really shady- he cancels on me last minute, he’s been acting distant, and I’m just getting weird vibes. At first, I thought he was just trying to end things, but then from time to time, he’ll text me something really sweet, like about how much he wants to see me, or that he’s been thinking about me, so obviously, he’s still interested or why would he do that?

Anyway, I’m really confused by his behavior, my friends say I should just forget him but I really feel like we could have something great and I’m not ready to throw in the towel just yet.

Am I deluding myself? Please help! Why are guys like this!?

[Click here to keep reading…]

8 Telltale Signs Your Guy is Pulling Away (and What To Do About It) post image

It’s a scary feeling when a guy you’re seeing seems to be pulling away. You aren’t sure if he’s actually withdrawing or if your own insecurities are acting up and making you paranoid. Even worse, if he is withdrawing you don’t know why, let alone what you should do about it.

Often, a woman prematurely panics when she thinks a guy is pulling away and assumes it means he’s lost interest in her … when his behavior is actually perfectly normal or caused by something totally unrelated to his feelings for her.

The problem is that panicking can create a problem where there wasn’t one in the first place. He may not have been pulling away at first because of anything to do with you, but he’ll probably start pulling away for real as a result of your behavior.

MORE: The Top 3 Reasons Why Men Pull Away 

We’re going to look at the things men do that cause women to panic and think men are withdrawing and losing interest. These behaviors are usually signs that he’s pulling away, but pulling away doesn’t always mean losing interest—there can also be other explanations.

We’ll talk about some of those explanations, and then we’ll tell you what you can do about it.

[Click here to keep reading…]

13 Unmistakable Signs He’s Into You post image

Is he into me? This is a very common question that a lot of women ask themselves. It seems straightforward, but it causes so much confusion.

This confusion is often caused by “mixed signals,” but honestly, mixed signals is often just a way of saying that a man’s words aren’t matching his actions. And when it comes to how a man feels, actions always trump words.

The most important thing to know is that men show how they feel through actions more than words. Talk really is cheap—you need to look at the ways he shows you he cares.

Here are some actions to keep an eye out for that show he’s into you:

[Click here to keep reading…]

11 Biggest Signs A Guy Isn’t Interested in You Anymore post image

Let’s talk about when a guy isn’t interested in you anymore. First, ouch! This one really stings and if you’re in this situation, I feel for you.

Let’s start at the beginning. It seemed to be going so well!

He was obviously crazy about you and everything just felt right. Then something shifted … his behavior changed and you don’t know why.

Maybe this happened after going out on a few dates… maybe after a period of flirting where you felt sure this was building up to something … but then it just didn’t.

Maybe he’s just busy with work or school or dealing with personal issues or needs some space because you’ve been spending all your time together.

MORE: The Biggest Sign He Doesn’t Like You Anymore 

You’re not sure if you’re just being insecure, or if he really just isn’t interested in you anymore.

How can you tell the difference? It’s really not that hard.

If he’s losing interest, you’ll notice some of the following 11 signs.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Exactly How To Get Over a Guy Who Doesn’t Like You: 13 Easy Steps post image

Liking a guy who doesn’t like you back is the absolute worst. It may be even worse than getting dumped. It completely sucks the joy out of your life, making you question everything about yourself: your looks, your personality, your intelligence, your social skills, everything!

You are on a desperate quest to figure out why you’re not “good enough” for him. Why doesn’t he like you? What are you doing wrong? Surely there must be something! Now if only you can get him to see how perfect you two would be together … what an amazing match it would be … but how can you do that?

Here is the brutal truth you probably don’t want to hear: There isn’t all that much you can do about it. You can’t force someone to like you. No amount of wanting or yearning will get him to like you back. No amount of plotting or strategizing or analyzing will get you the results you want, it will only drive you insane.

MORE: 11 Definite Signs He Doesn’t Like You

Now I will say there are ways to increase your attractiveness and likeability. You should focus on becoming your best self, on looking your best, feeling your best, being your best. But if you’ve done that and he still isn’t interested in you, it’s time to just accept it and move on. But the moving on is easier said than done … believe me, I’ve lived it and I get it!

So here is my ultimate guide to getting over a guy who doesn’t like you:

[Click here to keep reading…]

Exactly How to Tell If a Guy Likes You – Here’s 25 Ways To Know For Sure post image

“Does he like me?” I think we’ve all asked ourselves this question at one point or another!

It’s not always so straightforward. There will be times when you’re positive he likes you… and other times where it seems like maybe he doesn’t like you, maybe he’s just being friendly, or maybe he’s just shy or insecure. Maybe maybe maybe, the maybes can drive you nuts!

Though it can seem confusing, there are several ways to tell if a guy likes you for sure. When you know what to look for, answering “does he like me?” will be a snap. [Click here to keep reading…]

7 Telltale Signs He’s Not in Love Anymore post image

“I don’t love you anymore.” No matter how this arrangement of words is said, it is absolutely soul-crushing.

Maybe he tries to make you feel better by saying, “It’s not you, it’s me.” This is definitely up there on the list of most commonly used breakup lines. And as polite as this breakup line may be, the truth behind it is a little harder to swallow: “I just don’t myself with someone like you.” Ouch.

When a guy breaks up with you in this way, it can be both painful and confusing. He seemed like he was really into you, like he really loved you…what happened?

MORE: The Real Reasons Why Men Pull Away

One way to spare yourself this pain and anguish is to learn how to spot the signs that he is falling out of love. You may not want to admit it, but when you look for it, the truth is easy to find.

[Click here to keep reading…]

The Top 10 Reasons Men Fall Out of Love post image

Why do men fall out of love? Now there is a loaded question.

Is it even possible to fall out of love? Does that mean it was never love to begin with? Was it something you did? Something you said? Something you should have said more?

After a relationship ends there are So. Many. Questions. The questions are endless. The questions are what keep us in business!

You get consumed with the need to know where it all went wrong, and why.

People don’t usually wake up one day and decide they no longer love their partner. Just as falling in love is a process that happens over time, falling out of love is a process that occurs over time.

MORE: Why Do Men Pull Away?

When you know the reasons why it happens, you can identify if your man is going backwards in love and hopefully will be able to salvage the relationship.

So here it goes. The truth about what makes men fall out of love.

[Click here to keep reading…]

5 Things That Turn Men Off to Relationships post image

Have you ever dated a guy who at first looked at you like you were magic…but then soon after seemed kind of indifferent to you? (Raising my hand to this one!)

Or how about being “ghosted?” That has happened to so many of us that it’s now a part of our common vernacular. Has a guy ever suddenly lost interest when things started out seemingly great? Have you faced the pain and agony of watching his excitement over you steadily extinguish?

I know you have because we all have. It’s painful, and quite frankly, it sucks.

MORE: The Real Reasons Men Pull Away

I want to start off by saying it’s not because you’re bad or unlovable or unworthy. If that’s what you think, then stop!

You, like many women, may just be unaware of subtle things that turn men off. You may have the very best intentions… but it’s not about the intentions. It’s something else.

Whatever the scenario, you’re left with endless questions and want to know what happened and why. Well, that’s why you have me!

I’m going to break down the five biggest reasons men get turned off from being in a relationship with you.

[Click here to keep reading…]

7 Biggest Reasons Men Leave Women They Love post image

Love is all you need. Love conquers all. Love will find a way. True love lasts a lifetime. I could go on and on with these sappy, idealized, unrealistic portrayals of love we’ve been fed all our lives.

Let me preface this by saying I’m no cynic. I do believe in true love and soul mates. I truly believe I married my soul mate. But I also know that love isn’t a magical cure-all and also, love isn’t always enough. Every couple who gets divorced once loved each other very much, they just couldn’t make it work.

The Number One Reason Men Suddenly Lose Interest post image

Why did he lose interest when things seemed to be going so well? This question is all too common.

This is how it all usually goes down. You meet a guy and feel the proverbial spark. Numbers are exchanged, flirty texting ensues, and eventually you go on a date … and it’s amazing!

The chemistry is strong, you connect, you have fun. You go out again and it’s another ace in the hole. Now you start to get really excited…could this be it? Maybe you hang out a few more times, but then something changes. Either you notice that he starts to pull away and seems less engaged (commonly known as “the fade away”), or he just vanishes (a phenomenon known as “ghosting”). You feel completely blindsided and shell-shocked.

What went wrong?

[Click here to keep reading…]

10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men Review post image

We’ve been telling you about this for a little while and now it’s finally here… our new book, “10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men” is available on Amazon for Kindle and in paperback.

If there is anything I’ve learned over the last seven years spent writing about men and relationships, it’s that knowledge is power. It is also freedom. It grants you freedom from being stuck in dead-end relationships, from racking your brain trying to figure out what he’s thinking and how he feels. It frees you from the stress, insecurity, and worry that come with not knowing.

This book takes a look at the most common relationship scenarios- the ones that cause the most confusion- and explains everything. It provides a breakdown of the male psyche while also giving you a lot of insight into yourself and into your relationships. While the book was written by me and in my own voice, Eric worked closely with me as my trusted advisor and man decoder and provided invaluable insights into the male mind that I never could have uncovered on my own.

To give you a little taste of what you’ll learn, here are the 10 things you need to know as well as small samplings of what you’ll find in each chapter.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back? post image

My ex broke up with me last month after being together for over a year. The last few months were rough because his grandmother passed away after being in the hospital for a few months. I tried to be there for him but he totally withdrew and would reject my advances and we started fighting a lot because of it.

He told me he loves me, but felt like I was smothering him and he needed to find himself. I told him I would give him space while he figured things out but he said he couldn’t ask me to do that. I asked if there was a chance for us once he got things sorted and he said he isn’t sure if he sees a future. He said he worships the ground I walk on and should never change because I was perfect in the relationship and will go far in life whereas he feels like he has nothing to offer since he is grieving and stuck in a job he doesn’t like.

He suggested we stay friends but I told him that would be too hard on me and he said I can contact him anytime. I know I came across needy over the last couple of months and am wondering if there’s anything I can do to get him back. Should I text him? Try to stay friends? Is there any hope of getting him back?

[Click here to keep reading…]

5 Things Guys Secretly Want From You (But Will Never Tell You) post image

One key difference I’ve observed between men and women is that women seem to be much more aware of what they want and need in a relationship…and aren’t afraid to express it. Men, for various reasons, aren’t always so in tune with what they really need in order to feel loved and fulfilled in a relationship, and the ones who are aware will seldom come right out and say it.

It makes sense from an intellectual standpoint. From an early age women learn to cultivate close, intimate relationships and they learn what makes them feel cared for and understood. Male friendships don’t usually have the same depth and level of closeness, so men typically enter the realm of emotional awareness later in life, usually when they form relationships with women.

A guy generally won’t ask for what he needs because a lot of the time, he doesn’t even know what it is. But then when you give it to him, it feels amazing. He feels appreciated and loved, and he comes to love you even more.

And with that, here are the top five things guys secretly love and want from you, but will seldom ask for.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Guy Confession: Why I No Longer Think All Girls Are Crazy post image

I was having a conversation with a woman last week and had embarked on one of my typical, now practiced monologues about why all guys are di*$& and all girls are crazy. She didn’t object to my ripping apart the male species, but she did jump on my words about the crazy factor inside all women.

She said, “What makes you think all women are crazy?”

I’ve been asked this question before in similar discussions, so I knew the drill. Normally I would bring up 10 or maybe 35 examples of crazy stuff that girls from my past had said or done, then end with the simultaneously cynical but hopeful conclusion that a man’s mission is just to find the LEAST crazy girl and marry her.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: How to Win at the Texting Game post image

I wanted to ask for your take on guys who play games in relationships, like the texting game, for instance. I thought people stopped that after college, but recently found out I was wrong.

I hate the whole game of one person sending a text and the other waiting two hours before responding, even if they have their phone and aren’t busy, just so they don’t seem desperate. I really don’t like playing games but this guy I’m involved with is being very confusing and I can’t tell if it’s just a game or not.

Is there a way to break the texting game or is that who that person is by nature and there’s nothing that can be done? How can I beat the texting game?

[Click here to keep reading…]

How to Stop Stressing When It Comes to Dating & Relationships post image

In my article on why guys suddenly lose interest, I discussed how caring too much or stressing over your relationship can irreparably damage it. The article sparked an avalanche of e-mails and comments from women who were feeling panicked over the state of their relationship. Most understood the point I was making in the article, but rather than relaxing and just going with the flow, they wanted to know: “How can I fix it if I was stressing too much?” “What should I text him to fix the situation?” “Is it OK if I tell him XYZ?” “Is he gone forever?” “How can I get him back?” OK, full stop. This is exactly the problem Eric and I have been addressing at length, not only on the site, but also in the newsletter and on our Facebook accounts.

But I realized that identifying the problem is only half the battle. The next step is to get to the root of it and figure out how to solve it.

When you eliminate the care (or worry or stress or whatever you want to call it), you are free to really be in the relationship. You can see the other person for who he is and you can give yourself to him freely – no strategy, no game-playing, no manipulation. You won’t feel a need to control anything. You can just be and there is no greater feeling than that.

But how do we do it? How do we stop our minds from spinning into overdrive, sending out waves of unpleasant thoughts and alarm bells?

Read on to find out!

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: Am I Just His Fallback Girl? post image

Me and this guy started off as friends but thing quickly turned romantic between us. He was doing an exchange program at my university and after a few months moved back home, but we continued to stay in contact and visited each other several times. Over these last few months we don’t talk as frequently, but we do have occasional lengthy phone calls where we talk about everything.

I don’t know where I stand with him because we never discussed it, plus we are both not very expressive/overtly emotional people, and I never expected (and still don’t) a relationship to blossom from this, but I do have strong feelings for him and want to see him soon. We are both going to be in Vegas next month and he messaged me asking if I want to meet up. Maybe I’m just paranoid, but I feel like he just wants a guaranteed hookup.

I guess my question is, is it normal for an ex-fling whom you were once romantically and sexually involved with to always reach out and initiate long conversations? Is it just to be polite/friendly, does it mean he misses me and still has feelings for  or am I just his “fallback girl”?

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: Is My Relationship Heading in the Right Direction? post image

I have been dating a guy for six months, but we’re not official. I like him a lot and really enjoy spending time with him and I know he feels the same about me.  Since we both have busy work schedules and children, we do not see each other often, maybe every other week, and we’ve taken two trips together (including one last weekend). In between seeing each other i person, we text and e-mail sporadically. 

I’m just wondering if this relationship is heading in the right direction, and if it will lead to something lasting. I am also worried about coming across as needy and sometimes I hesitate to initiate texts with him. For instance, is it needy behavior to send the text: “Thank you for yesterday – I like when we see each other, it feels good”?

[Click here to keep reading…]

What Guys Really Think About Texting post image

Last week, I was witness to an event that has shocked and awed the few men that have had the great, great privilege of observing it. I saw the mind of a girl work as she received texts from her current love interest. It was incredible. I had been hypothesizing what it is that girls think we’re actually doing on the other end of that phone and finally someone pulled the curtain back and allowed me to meet Oz…Oz was a girl. Oz was very confused.

It began Friday night. I crashed at my cousin’s place for the night in Williamsburg and she and her roommate had gone out and done Williamsburg things like drank alcoholic beverages and told boys to go away. That is, until one boy approached the roommate (let’s call her Mel), and Mel did not ask the boy to leave.

Fast-forward through what I could only imagine was heavy bar flirting, them making several plans to hang out the next day, and eventually a semi-awkward goodbye of her telling him no, he can’t come home with her, and then it’s the morning after…and the texting began. And as a guest in the house of these rambunctious 20-something females, I had backstage passes to the show. [Click here to keep reading…]

Exactly How to Be the Best Girlfriend He’s Ever Had post image

There is so much misinformation out there on what it takes to be a great girlfriend. It’s not about cooking his favorite food or wearing sexy lingerie or mastering some crazy sexual trick (not saying these things don’t help, but they don’t get to the heart of the matter!). Understanding how men think and what they need in a relationship makes an enormous difference in the way you are able to relate to one another.

The top prerequisite for being in a great relationship is to be your best self. A trap that many people in relationships fall into is blaming their partner when problems arise. Rather than seeing what they can do to make things better, they blame him for not being what they want and think that if only he did XYZ, then everything would be fine.

It doesn’t work that way, though. You can’t ever make someone what you want them to be. All you can do is bring your best. When you do this, the other person will usually rise up and match you at this level.

Here are six ways to be the most amazing girlfriend ever:

[Click here to keep reading…]

5 Telltale Signs He Likes You post image

5 Telltale Signs He Likes You


He likes me, he likes me not…. now that is the real question.

Eric and I say over and over again that when a man likes you, it’s obvious. (That phrase was even the title of the first chapter of our book “10 Things every Woman Needs to Know About Men.”)

However, given the high volume of questions we receive from readers asking us to decipher whether a guy likes them or not (and the fact that “Does He Like Me?” is the most popular article on the site), it obviously isn’t so obvious to you when a guy likes you.

Even though I write about relationships for a living, I also used to get tripped up back when I was single and would catch myself spinning into analysis mode while trying to figure out how guys felt. You analyze the texts, you replay your interactions with him over and over in your mind, you cling tightly to the compliments and kisses…and are more quick to part with some of the red flags and bad signs.  When you add emotions (and a bit of ego) into the mix, it can be hard to see things clearly. Instead, you’re seeing the situation through a lens of wishful thinking and sometimes a bit of self-deception.

Trust me, I know how confusing and frustrating it can be at times but the fact remains that when a guy likes you, it is obvious … especially when you know what signs to look for.

Read on for exactly how to tell if a guy likes you:  [Click here to keep reading…]

The “Rules” of Facebook for Dating & Relationships post image

After scanning the comments on A New Mode, I have noticed a very common topic in almost every discussion. Somehow we always manage to fit Facebook into all relationship/hookup/guy-meets-girl talks. I understand it. The image we portray to the world is now through statuses and pictures.  But how does that fit into our special, or not so special, someone?

I am happy to do my best to shed light on how to navigate the complicated world of The Facebook with the first ever ultimate Facebook rule book!

[Click here to keep reading…]

Foolproof Flirting Tips post image

Foolproof Flirting Tips


A few weeks ago, a friend of mine was asking for advice on how to be more flirty. Whenever anyone asks me a relationship question I can usually rattle off an informed answer, almost like a knee-jerk reaction,  but this one left me surprisingly stumped. I certainly know how to flirt, but I couldn’t really convey the tricks of the trade. I’m someone with a very naturally flirty personality, and when I meet a guy that I click with, my natural essence just gets enhanced. It never really occurred to me that some women aren’t the best flirts.

After she asked me this question, I started paying more attention to flirting behavior all around me. I also spoke to some guys about it to find out the kind of flirting behavior that really gets their attention.

My “research” also got me thinking of the importance of flirting in general when it comes to courtship. I think us gals overlook the fact that approaching a girl and asking her out  is pretty scary and nerve-wracking for most guys. Flirting is a way to convey a level of interest that let’s a guy know he won’t be shut down or humiliated if he asks you out or asks for your number.

Men and women are pretty different when it comes to how they approach relationships and interpret things in general. These fool-proof flirting tips are guaranteed to send the right message and not get lost in translation.

[Click here to keep reading…]

An Open Letter to All Men post image

An Open Letter to All Men


Dear Male Gender,

I have been writing about relationships for several years now with the goal of helping women understand why you act the way you do. First, I want to say that I really do love your gender. I have learned a lot about myself through relationships with some of you. And without you, I wouldn’t have the amazing career that I do, so thanks!

At the same time,  I think you should know that some of your actions are really confusing the ladies of the world and causing a large amount of unnecessary pain.

A lot of my readers ask: “Why aren’t you giving all this advice to guys? They’re the ones who need it!” This letter is my response to that.

So let’s get right into it.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Date Etiquette: What Every Man Wants to Hear post image

Attention all girls/ladies/women/anyone with girly parts that’s ever been taken out by a guy with….guy parts: repeat after me – “Thank you.”

These two words, if not used on a date or shortly after, can and even should be a deal breaker for the guy who is taking you out.  It has been known since times of the ancient Egyptians (all historical references will be fictional) that a man’s job is to pay.  We get that.  Thousands of years of tradition, lectures from mom and dad, unsolicited dating advice from friends have been heard.  All of us normal members of the male species have read and checked the box for the terms of agreement.  Now it is your turn. [Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: Why Did He Lose Interest and Stop Texting Me? post image

I met a guy two weeks ago and we instantly hit it off. We talked on the phone and texted regularly and went out on a few amazing dates. Everything seemed to be going well but then he had to go out of the country for a business trip.

I didn’t expect to hear from him while he was away, but he’s been back for three days now and I haven’t heard a peep!

If he wasn’t interested why not just tell me instead of pulling a vanishing act? This isn’t the first time I dated a guy and things were going great and then he fell off the face of the earth and I can’t for the life of me figure out why. I am a confident, non-needy woman, I didn’t place any expectations or demands on this newest guy.

I just don’t understand, what happened, what changed? How could he go from being so interested in me to gone? And do you think it’s worth it for me to send him a friendly text to see how he responds?

[Click here to keep reading…]

How to Have “The Talk” to Define Your Relationship post image

The first time I had “the talk” turned into more of a ridiculous display of exactly what not to do. I was in college and had been seeing this guy for a little over a month and had never felt so strongly for someone else, ever. We spent a ton of time together and I figured we were heading toward being “official” but it wasn’t a pressing matter on my mind, it just lingered in the depths.

That all changed one night when I introduced him to my friends for the first time. The night started out great, we had some drinks and went to a bar with some of his friends. But it all took a turn when me and my friends went to the bathroom to fix our faces and they started getting in my ear about how strange it was that he and I weren’t official yet, and what a bad sign that was. In addition to a fresh coat of powder and gloss, I left the bathroom with a giant chip on my shoulder.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: How to Turn a Friends-With-Benefits Into Something More post image

I met this guy through some friends and started liking him. He liked the girl that introduced us and she also liked him. One night we were hanging out and  he and I almost hooked up. He told her so they are no longer friends due to her lack of trust in him, but now several months later he and I have been getting together almost every night. I finally told him that I like him and wanted it to be more and his response was reasonably better than I hoped for and he said he “kinda likes” me. I told him that I didn’t want to be just a “booty call” and he said he’s not like that, but he won’t make it more.

Now he won’t talk to me– no calls, texts, facebook messages, or emails.  How do I get him to make it more than just “friends-with-benefits” or even go back to being just friends?

[Click here to keep reading…]

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