Posts tagged as:

understanding men

A New Take On Why He Won’t Call You His Girlfriend

A popular question we get for our famous ‘Ask a Guy’ section is: “Why won’t he call me his girlfriend?” I am not surprised at all, this situation is the worst! I’ve been there, my friends have been there, and it’s so frustrating and makes zero sense. I mean, you’re with this guy, you’re spending a lot of time together, you are in a relationship in every single way except for the fact that you’re not technically in a relationship.

Eric does a great job explaining what might be going on in your guy’s mind but I have some insights that, although from a female perspective, will be of great value as well. A few years ago I had my heart absolutely broken. The experience caused me to completely shut down emotionally. I was aloof, I was hard to read, I didn’t get too close, I was present but never available, essentially, I was a guy (in the psychological sense anyway!). [Continue reading...]

{ DISCUSS / 12 posts }

Ask A Guy: When He Suddenly Gets ‘Turned Off’

There’s this guy at work that was pursuing me since last November. We’re so similar that it is scary. Just random things he will say or I will say we always have the same views. He used to joke that I was his twin who was separated at birth or his future wife. Anyways it started as just a joke and then I think he actually developed feelings for me and started asking me out. I was hesitant and told him that I had dated people I worked with before and it always ended up going sour and I don’t want to go through that. He told me “life is what it is and things happen for a reason. You just haven’t met the right person.” Anyway, he kept pursuing me an I finally gave in and we went on out first date in March.

It was lots of fun and I never really felt I connected with someone like this before. I didn’t feel like I had to impress him, I was myself. We would go to lunch together and he would try to sneak kissed when no one was looking. We were seeing each other like that for about two months until we slept together the first time. I made the mistake of asking him if there was a future for us. I wasn’t asking for a relationship, I just wanted to know that there could be because I dated this other guy for two and half years and he never committed. Anyway, this new guy also asked me to do something in the bedroom and I said no.

After that he started to become distant and when I confronted him about it he said that I did two things that turned him off. The first was that I talked about having relationship too soon and the other was that ‘you never say no in the bedroom.’ I told him that I understand that he felt this way but I am not a mind reader, and you should tell me or tell the person you are with when you are turned off. He told me “it was a no brainer.”

Read on for the rest of this question and our guy’s response after the jump [Continue reading...]

{ DISCUSS / 0 posts }

Ask A Guy: Does He Just Want Sex?

I’ve been seeing someone for about 2 months now, and we have sex often but he won’t call me his girlfriend even though we’ve met each other’s families, spend a lot of time together and act like we are dating. Is telling him I won’t have sex with him anymore because we aren’t dating, and I’m now uncomfortable with it, a bad idea? I think it might help me see if he’s only in it for sex, but I’m not sure.

Read our guy’s response after the jump! [Continue reading...]

{ DISCUSS / 21 posts }

Ask A Guy: Does He Really Love Me?

I met this guy at a camp about 3 years ago- he liked me then but I wasn’t so into him at the time. He recently asked me out and I decided to give him a chance and we’ve been seeing each other for about 3 months now. He said he loved me a couple of days into the relationship and would say it often, but sometime during the relationship he completely withdrew for no reason. He stopped calling or texting and stopped picking up my calls. We eventually made up after I made the ‘ standard girl mistake of sending him numerous texts about how much I loved him.

The problem now is he hardly ever calls. Sometimes 3 to 4 days could go buy and I’ll get no call from him. We live and work at different ends of town and I know that makes it difficult, but he hardly asks to see me or makes the effort to make time for us.. When I tried to talk to him about it (over the phone) he said he was always busy with work, got upset and hung up. Now he’s withdrawn again and I refuse to be treated the same way again so I haven’t called or texted. Its been almost a week now and no word from him. I don’t know if I’m handling things the wrong way or if he never really loved me in the first place. I need a way forward.

Read our guy’s response after the jump!

[Continue reading...]

{ DISCUSS / 8 posts }

Ask A Guy: When He’s Still In Touch With His Ex

My boyfriend is still in close contact with his most recent ex in a way which is troubling me. I know he has remained close to a few of his ex’s which doesn’t concern me at all (he has the right to be friends with anyone) but the most recent ex is still extremely needy. She sends him nasty texts saying he is forgetting his friends if he hasn’t seen her for a while, posts catty comments on his facebook page, yet he still won’t cut her off.

He says it is easier to remain friends with her than not to, but I personally won’t surround myself with people who are so toxic. He lent her a sum of money in the past which I think she still hasn’t paid back which could be a factor.

I feel that by keeping her in his life, he is being slightly disrespectful to me, as she clearly still has some kind of hold over him for him to put up with this. His other friends and parents agree with me, but I can’t get him see it from any other point of view.

Please help before I drive myself mad!!!!!

Read our guy’s response after the jump!

[Continue reading...]

{ DISCUSS / 5 posts }

Ask A Guy: Can A Girl Say ‘I Love You’ First?

I think I have been reading too many magazine quizzes and too many relationship books for my own good. All of them pretty much say that the woman shouldn’t ever be the one to say “I Love You” first. It is like the “kiss of death.” While I understand the advice of not jumping the gun, as we women are supposed to be “more emotional,” I am in a relationship now where there is a lot of “hinting” around it going on and it is really tempting to “come out
and say it.” What does a guy think about the age old question? If the woman makes this “big move” first, does it make a guy squirm…or run?

Read our guy’s response after the jump!

[Continue reading...]

{ DISCUSS / 18 posts }