The No Contact Rule: Everything You Need to Know post image

If you’ve read any of my articles or books you know I’m not a fan of rules when it comes to relationships. I think rules treat the symptoms, not the disease, but that’s a tangent for a different time! The only “rule” you might hear me reference is the “no contact rule.” This is something I’ve discussed when I write about how to get your ex back and is a concept I get asked about frequently, but I noticed it often gets misinterpreted and done completely wrong so I figured it was worth writing an article exclusively on this subject.

The no contact rule is exactly what it sounds like. After a breakup, you resolve to not contact your ex for a determined amount of time. Easy in theory, not always easy in practice. When done right, the no contact rule can get you the exact relationship you’ve always wanted (and not always with your ex, sometimes you’ll be surprised where it takes you). When done wrong, you just end up wasting even more of your precious time pining away for someone who isn’t meant for you.

So let’s get down to the nitty-gritty and talk about everything you need to know about the no contact rule.

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How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Forever: Everything You Need to Know post image

One of the most common questions I get asked is some variation of “How can I get my ex-boyfriend back?” In all honesty, I’m very hesitant with this kind of thing because it usually ends in disaster. Well, maybe not disaster, but definitely another round of heartbreak, often much greater than the first.

The reason is because people usually get back together for the wrong reasons and without addressing the real underlying issues, so it’s not so surprising that history repeats itself. I’ve seen ex-back scenarios unfold in a variety of ways—some that end in utter, massive heartbreak, others that end with a trip down the aisle. I’ve even seen couples get remarried after many years being divorced who are now happier than ever!

It is definitely possible to get your ex back and make the relationship last, but it doesn’t just happen because you want it to. There are important things to consider and a bit of work to be done. Missing each other isn’t enough. Loving each other isn’t enough. Relationships take more than that to survive.

This is a pretty fun topic for me personally because I’m married to my high school ex-boyfriend, and my college ex-boyfriend is my business partner, so I guess you could say I’m a real ex-back success story!

But usually the rule is: if it didn’t work, it won’t work…unless something significant changes. To increase your chances for success, you need to arm yourself with the right information.

So let’s break it all down: What will it take to get your ex back, and how can you make it last forever this time around?

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Ask a Guy: How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back? post image

My ex broke up with me last month after being together for over a year. The last few months were rough because his grandmother passed away after being in the hospital for a few months. I tried to be there for him but he totally withdrew and would reject my advances and we started fighting a lot because of it.

He told me he loves me, but felt like I was smothering him and he needed to find himself. I told him I would give him space while he figured things out but he said he couldn’t ask me to do that. I asked if there was a chance for us once he got things sorted and he said he isn’t sure if he sees a future. He said he worships the ground I walk on and should never change because I was perfect in the relationship and will go far in life whereas he feels like he has nothing to offer since he is grieving and stuck in a job he doesn’t like.

He suggested we stay friends but I told him that would be too hard on me and he said I can contact him anytime. I know I came across needy over the last couple of months and am wondering if there’s anything I can do to get him back. Should I text him? Try to stay friends? Is there any hope of getting him back?

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“Can I Get My Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?” Quiz post image

When a relationship ends either both parties end up hating each other, they continue to care for one another but acknowledge it will never work and move in their own directions, or one continues to pine for the other. The last scenario is always the most difficult (at least, for the one pining) and can make an already painful process even more brutal. Sometimes, however, these cases do come to a happy conclusion and the other person also decides the relationship is worth fighting for. But how can you know if this is the way your story will unfold?

You can spend years waiting for your ex to change his mind and show up at your doorstep with a bouquet of roses and a rom-com worthy declaration of his undying love. And if that doesn’t happen (which it most likely won’t since Hollywood endings only exist in Hollywood movies), then you’ll have to deal with the pain of having wasted so much time and energy that would have been better served in other areas.

Sometimes hope is not lost and there is hope for a reconciliation. You have to be smart about it though, if you go too far out on a limb the branch will break leaving you badly hurt.

When emotions run high you aren’t always able to see clearly. This is why we’ve created this “Can I Get My Ex Back?” quiz, to give you quantifiable results that will let you know what your odds are.

Take this super easy, super quick quiz to find out if you’re ex is going to come back or if he’s done forever.

As long as you answer honestly, you will get startlingly (even shockingly) accurate results and will know for sure if he is willing to give the relationship another shot.

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