5 Steps to Stop a Man From Withdrawing post image

When a man starts to withdraw or act distant, a lot of women reflexively panic and try to do whatever they can to reel him back in. Although they have good intentions, most women inadvertently end up pushing their guy even further away.

It is a crushing, miserable feeling. You feel powerless and scared and have no idea what the right move is. (MORE: What to Do When He Says He Needs Space)

There is something magical about meeting a guy that you actually click with. It doesn’t come around every day, so when it does you latch on tightly and feel grateful, and at the same time, afraid. But your fears are soon put to rest because things seem to be going so well.

The chemistry is strong, the vibe is good, you spend a lot of time together, you know he cares about you…and just when you’re starting to settle in and relax, he seems to be pulling away a bit.

Maybe he doesn’t text as often… he doesn’t seem as enthusiastic about you or the relationship…or maybe it’s nothing you can put your finger on, just a feeling in the pit of your stomach.

The first question when this happens is always: why?

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20 Questions to Ask a Guy to Get Closer post image

In this age of endless connection, we are more disconnected than ever and most relationships don’t go very far beyond the surface. Maybe it’s because we hold ourselves back or maybe it’s because we no longer have the tools to genuinely connect, like face-to-face and via conversation.

In order to build the foundation for a relationship, you need to create a meaningful connection, and this comes when you truly connect with who the other person is.

A little while back, I discovered this site called Thought Questions and I started keeping a list of some of my favorites. When my husband and I were still dating, I pulled up the list one night and suggested we play the “questions game.” We also mixed it up by seeing if we could guess what the other person would answer. It was a lot of fun, but also a very profound experience and we ended up learning so much about each other (and about ourselves!), which brought us even closer. To this day we make an effort to spend time asking each other deep, meaningful questions that go beyond ‘how was your day?’ And every time we do this, we discover new and interesting things about each other.

In his book “The Seven principles of Making a Marriage Work,” famed relationship researcher John Gottman (the dude who can predict whether a couple will get divorced with something like 95% accuracy after watching them interact for only a few minutes) cites “enhancing your love maps” as the first principle. A love map is essentially knowing all relevant information about your partner’s life, from small things like the name of their first pet to big things like significant experiences that shaped who they are. He explains that couples who have detailed love maps of each other’s worlds are much more equipped to cope with stressful events and overcome conflict.

The point is, knowledge is powerful and asking the right questions can unlock the gates for a meaningful connection and deep understanding of one another. It doesn’t matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, it could be the first date or your 10th year of marriage, people are deep and complex and always evolving so there is always something new to learn.

To help you tap into the power of knowing, here is a list of my favorite bonding questions to ask your guy in order to get even closer and more connected.

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Ask a Guy:  Is Being Too Direct A Bad Thing? post image

I’ve been talking to a guy for a little over a month but we have not officially met up (I actually met him about 5 years ago through a friend but we were seeing other people at the time).  We have talked about getting together, but have yet to actually set a date.

Our main form of communication is via text message, and we’re skirting on the border of friends and more than friends. About 2 weeks ago, I straight up asked the guy I’ve been talking to/flirting with if he just wanted to sleep with me. I’ve noticed that any time I’m very direct, his answers are kind of vague.

I’m guessing he is unsure of what he wants but I’m just wondering if being direct is a bad thing? Don’t men usually think women are overly complicated?

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