Everything You Need to Know If You Want Love That Lasts Review post image

After writing two books devoted to understanding men, “He’s Not That Complicated” and “10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men,” I decided it was time to write a book about you, specifically, everything you want and need to know to have the relationship you’ve always wanted.

Do you wonder why your relationships always fall apart? What pushes men away? Are your expectations about love too high…or too low? How can you recognize dead-end relationships and stop wasting time on them? What are the signs he’ll never commit? What are the red flags you should never ignore? What factors decide whether a relationship succeeds or fails? What do men want from a relationship? What are the most common relationship mistakes women make? Why do men lose interest? And most importantly, what are the real reasons you can’t find lasting love?

My new book, “Everything You Need to Know if You Want Love That Lasts” will answer all these questions and more and provide you with everything you need to know to find and keep love that lasts. (The book was just released today and is available here.)

Writing a book is a big learning process and I always come away with many new epiphanies. As a launch day treat, I pulled a selection of my favorite, and what I consider to be the most important, insights from each chapter, the tidbits that would have saved me a lot of heartache and pain had I learned them sooner!

Here you go:

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy:  My Boyfriend is Stressed and Pulling Away… post image

My boyfriend has become withdrawn lately. He’s really stressed with not working, his dog dying, best friend’s dad having lung cancer, and everything just adding up.

He’s been pulling away for a couple weeks and has recently started going a day or two without texting me.

Should I stop texting him all together, or will that be showing that I don’t care and that I’m not supportive? I want him to know I’m here for him and that I’m not going anywhere, even though it’s tough. What should I do? 

[Click here to keep reading…]

Why Men Pull Away: Top 3 Reasons post image

Almost every woman has experienced the panic and uncertainty that occur when her man starts pulling away or withdrawing. Maybe it happens out of the blue, maybe something sparks it, either way, it’s a miserable feeling, one that leaves you feeling powerless and painfully insecure.

You question what happened, why he’s doing this, and what you may have done to cause this sudden shift. The most common questions we get involve some variation of a guy suddenly backing off and the girl going into a tizzy over it.

I totally get it, I’ve been there. Looking back, all those feelings of worry and confusion were a waste because the answer is surprisingly simple and applies to almost every situation.

So what’s the deal, why do men pull away and what can you do about it? Every guy is different, and every relationship is different, but in general men pull away for three main reasons.  [Click here to keep reading…]

How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Forever: Everything You Need to Know post image

One of the most common questions I get asked is some variation of “How can I get my ex-boyfriend back?” In all honesty, I’m very hesitant with this kind of thing because it usually ends in disaster. Well, maybe not a disaster, but definitely another round of heartbreak, often much greater than the first.

The reason is that people usually get back together for the wrong reasons and without addressing the real underlying issues, so it’s not so surprising that history repeats itself. I’ve seen ex-back scenarios unfold in a variety of ways—some that end in utter, massive heartbreak, others that end with a trip down the aisle. I’ve even seen couples get remarried after many years being divorced who are now happier than ever!

It is definitely possible to get your ex back and make the relationship last, but it doesn’t just happen because you want it to. There are important things to consider and a bit of work to be done. Missing each other isn’t enough. Loving each other isn’t enough. Relationships take more than that to survive.

This is a pretty fun topic for me personally because I’m married to my high school ex-boyfriend, and my college ex-boyfriend is my business partner, so I guess you could say I’m a real ex-back success story!

But usually, the rule is: if it didn’t work, it won’t work…unless something significant changes. To increase your chances for success, you need to arm yourself with the right information.

So let’s break it all down: What will it take to get your ex back, and how can you make it last forever this time around?

[Click here to keep reading…]

How to Stop Being Jealous post image

How to Stop Being Jealous


A key ingredient to genuine happiness is gratitude—being happy with what you have. A key ingredient to being miserable is coveting what someone else has, and thinking you aren’t enough.

In this day and age it’s easier than ever to be jealous, because we have more access to each other’s lives than ever before. But we don’t have access to their real lives; instead, we have access to the idealized, filtered, highlight reel of their lives. And even though we know that what we see on social media isn’t “real,” it can really have a strong, often negative, effect on us.

Jealousy can be directed at many sources, and doesn’t just come from social media. We can be jealous of friends, family members, co-workers. We can grapple with jealousy in our relationships…when he talks to another girl, looks at another girl, mentions another girl.

Jealousy is an impulse, an emotion that sometimes leads to action. If it doesn’t, then it just festers within us and causes misery. You never feel at ease; you can never fully appreciate what you have; there is always that sense of lacking, a void that demands to be filled. Jealousy can range from being a hindrance in your everyday life to being dark and destructive, causing humans to do heinous things.

But where does it come from and how do we fix it? How can we stop being jealous and learn to truly love and embrace our own lives?

[Click here to keep reading…]

Beauty Hacks: 18 Makeup and Skin Care Products That Serve Double Duty post image

It’s highly important to have a good, consistent skin care routine. However, we’re only human and sometimes we forget to pack certain essentials when traveling, or slack off in areas. Before you rush out to a drugstore to replenish your set, stop for a moment and think whether you may be able to do good with some make-up swaps instead.

Learning multiple ways to use your favorite beauty and skincare products is also highly budget friendly, because we all know how easy it is to fall into the trap of over-indulging at the makeup counter. But more expensive doesn’t mean better, and oftentimes it’s more  practicable to find a substitute rather than spend that extra money. It also can leave you with shockingly amazing results!

So, let’s see what you can do straight away without rushing to the nearest beauty shop and giving away real money for the comfort of buying an item – what if you don’t need that, because you have answers handy?

[Click here to keep reading…]

9 Secrets To Make a Long Distance Relationship Work post image

Long distance relationships (LDRs) are more common than ever in today’s world, thanks to the internet, social media, and Skype.

While we might have more modern ways to keep in touch, that doesn’t necessarily mean making a long distance relationship work has become easier for most people.

When you’re in an long distance relationship, most people will tell you that LDRs don’t last, that they’re a bad idea and that you shouldn’t get your hopes up.

For most of us, the inside of your head isn’t much better: Your mind is constantly worrying if the relationship will last, wondering if the other person is as committed as you are, fearing that it could all end suddenly and you’ll be left to pick up the pieces.

Yes, they say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” but when you don’t have a clear, easy, and effective approach to LDRs, it’s more like, “Absence makes the heart grow more fearful about the relationship.”

The good news is, long distance relationships can be easy if you know the right way to approach an LDR. I’m going to share 8 powerful tips that lead to having a successful long distance relationship.

[Click here to keep reading…]

From Head to Toe: Best Beauty Tips & Tricks Ever post image

You can’t have too much beauty knowledge; it’s funny how sometimes small tips can improve your appearance to an incomparably large extent! Here is a collection of beauty tricks covering all parts of your face for you to acquire a better look than you thought possible, often in a matter of minutes.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Why the Guys You Want Don’t Want You post image

One of the most frustrating and puzzling relationship issues is determining why the guys you want don’t seem to want you.

A lot of our readers are in these types of situations; that’s probably what led them to A New Mode to begin with. They are involved with a guy who just doesn’t seem to be as interested. He’s into it, he’s attracted, he likes hanging out with her, but he’s not quite there. She, on the other hand, has gone all in and the fact that he isn’t at the same point leaves her with a constant feeling of unease just beneath the surface.

If you have been in several situations like this, you might start to wonder if it’s you, if you’re doing something wrong. But then how can that be when all these other guys, the ones you don’t want, are desperate to date you? Why is it that the commitment and the proclamations of love and devotion only seem to come from the guys you don’t want and not the ones you do?

[Click here to keep reading…]

10 Ways to Look Younger Naturally in Just 10 Minutes post image

The whole point of makeup – or at least one of its major points – is to make us look younger. At times it may seem like an impossible task… Still, there are ways to take years off your face in a short time before breakfast. Do you find it hard to believe? Don’t be in a hurry… before you try these tips that can make you 10 years younger in just as many minutes!

[Click here to keep reading…]

5 Rules to Obey When You Argue post image

5 Rules to Obey When You Argue


Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret”- Ambrose Bierce

Conflicts are a built-in part of any relationship. No two people, no matter how perfectly matched, will get along in perfect harmony at all times. One of the greatest accomplishments in my relationship with my husband is not that we never argue, but that we argue so well (which actually means that we’re good at resolving our conflicts).

This was not the case earlier in our relationship, especially not when we were engaged; then if we went two days without a fight it was cause for celebration. We used to fight bad and dirty. Petty disagreements would spiral into all-out war. It wasn’t pretty, and there were times I wondered if we were going to make it. Sometimes in the midst of an argument it felt like we were speaking two totally different languages, completely unable to comprehend what the other was trying to say.

[Click here to keep reading…]

22 Ways Couples Can Overcome Infidelity post image

Marriage is a joint effort. You are a team, a duo, a couple. The relationship has many facets. You are lovers, friends, and family. So when one of the spouses veers off the marriage path and into the arms of someone else, it can be devastating.

Inevitably the other spouse asks all the why questions: Why did he do this to me? Why did he fall for her? Why did they think this was ok? Why didn’t he love me enough?

With all the heartache it can cause, many times, infidelity leads to divorce. But what if you are both interested in saving the marriage? If your marriage has sustained any sort of infidelity, and you want to stay married, here are 22 ways to survive.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Link Love post image

Link Love


10 Ways to Know You’re Dating a Keeper – Em & Lo 

5 Small Things That Will Bring Big Happiness to your Life – Your Tango 

8 Questions You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask Your Gyno – Her Campus

5 Relationship Resolutions That Will Bring You Love in 2016 – Elite Daily 

Why Good People Ghost: The Rise of a Dishonest Dating Culture – Thought Catalog 

5 Signs He’s Not The One post image

5 Signs He’s Not The One


The most difficult relationship skill is recognizing when something isn’t working and summoning the strength to walk away. Love isn’t enough to ensure a relationship stands the test of time. Two people can love each other very much and still not be right for one another. We’d all like to believe that all you need is love, but the truth is, it’s a lot more complicated than that.

If a lasting, committed relationship is what you want, you need to be able to recognize the warning signs that indicate a relationship isn’t built to last.

Here are the top five signs that he isn’t the one:

[Click here to keep reading…]

8 Basic Rules for a New Relationship post image

A new relationship can be as exhilarating as it is terrifying. You finally found that guy you click with, someone you really enjoy spending time with who seems to really like you … and you’re terrified of screwing it up, of making some deadly mistake that will end things before they even start.

It’s so sad to see how many women can’t even enjoy being in a new relationship because they’re so worried about ruining it. I get e-mails every day from women all over the world begging to know the secret formula for how to behave so they don’t scare their new guy away. The levels of worry are so high you would think they’re dating a baby mouse rather than a full-grown man!

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: When a Guy Loves You… post image

Do you have any advice on how to tell if a guy loves you?

I’ve been seeing this guy for almost a year know and though he says he loves me, I just can’t tell if he’s just saying what I want to hear or if he really does love me.

He’s not the type of guy to gush with lots “romantic talk”, but it’s more than what he says that makes me worried… sometimes I feel like if I didn’t text him or set up dates, he’d disappear or forget I even existed at all.  Is it possible for a man to say he loves you and not actually be that into you?  How do you know if a guy loves you?

[Click here to keep reading…]

The Difference Between True Love and Unhealthy Obsession post image

I think  most women run into issues and confusion in their love lives because they don’t know what a truly healthy relationship looks like, and is supposed to feel like. And it’s not surprising given the very unrealistic portrayals of love in movies, TV, and music. There is this idea that we have one soul mate and that real love stories are supposed to be filled with obstacles and drama. While this makes for good entertainment, it isn’t real life.

Most of the love stories we see in pop culture are rooted in infatuation…not real love. Some degree of infatuation is fine, but a relationship entirely rooted in infatuation is usually doomed. It’s usually based on an obsession, or idealization, more than a genuine appreciation and acceptance of who the other person is.

There is a tremendous difference between real, true love and unhealthy obsession or fixation… but it doesn’t always feel like that.

What do I mean by love and fixation?

[Click here to keep reading…]

10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men Review post image

We’ve been telling you about this for a little while and now it’s finally here… our new book, “10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men” is available on Amazon for Kindle and in paperback.

If there is anything I’ve learned over the last seven years spent writing about men and relationships, it’s that knowledge is power. It is also freedom. It grants you freedom from being stuck in dead-end relationships, from racking your brain trying to figure out what he’s thinking and how he feels. It frees you from the stress, insecurity, and worry that come with not knowing.

This book takes a look at the most common relationship scenarios- the ones that cause the most confusion- and explains everything. It provides a breakdown of the male psyche while also giving you a lot of insight into yourself and into your relationships. While the book was written by me and in my own voice, Eric worked closely with me as my trusted advisor and man decoder and provided invaluable insights into the male mind that I never could have uncovered on my own.

To give you a little taste of what you’ll learn, here are the 10 things you need to know as well as small samplings of what you’ll find in each chapter.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: What Do Guys Like In a Girl? post image

“There’s a guy at work that I’ve been interested in for a while.  The problem is, he sends mixed signals and I can’t tell if he really is interested in me and flirting or if he’s just being friendly.

What do guys like in a girl?  What makes a guy want to date a girl versus not seeing her as “girlfriend material”?  What do men want in a woman that makes them see them as a catch?”

[Click here to keep reading…]

20 Questions to Ask a Guy You Like to Get Closer post image

In this age of endless connection, we are more disconnected than ever and most relationships don’t go very far beyond the surface. Maybe it’s because we hold ourselves back or maybe it’s because we no longer have the tools to genuinely connect, like face-to-face and via conversation.

In order to build the foundation for a relationship, you need to create a meaningful connection, and this comes when you truly connect with who the other person is.

A little while back, I discovered this site called Thought Questions and I started keeping a list of some of my favorites. When my husband and I were still dating, I pulled up the list one night and suggested we play the “questions game.” We also mixed it up by seeing if we could guess what the other person would answer. It was a lot of fun, but also a very profound experience and we ended up learning so much about each other (and about ourselves!), which brought us even closer. To this day we make an effort to spend time asking each other deep, meaningful questions that go beyond ‘how was your day?’ And every time we do this, we discover new and interesting things about each other.

MORE: 225+ Amazing Questions to Ask a Guy

In his book “The Seven principles of Making a Marriage Work,” famed relationship researcher John Gottman (the dude who can predict whether a couple will get divorced with something like 95% accuracy after watching them interact for only a few minutes) cites “enhancing your love maps” as the first principle. A love map is essentially knowing all relevant information about your partner’s life, from small things like the name of their first pet to big things like significant experiences that shaped who they are. He explains that couples who have detailed love maps of each other’s worlds are much more equipped to cope with stressful events and overcome conflict.

The point is, knowledge is powerful and asking the right questions can unlock the gates for a meaningful connection and deep understanding of one another. It doesn’t matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, it could be the first date or your 10th year of marriage, people are deep and complex and always evolving so there is always something new to learn.

To help you tap into the power of knowing, here is a list of my favorite bonding questions to ask your guy in order to get even closer and more connected.

[Click here to keep reading…]

5 Signs He’s Not That Into You post image

There is nothing more exasperating in the world of dating than a guy who seems really interested, but then also maybe not…but then yes…but no again. I’ve been there, and I know most of you have based on the comments and e-mails we receive.

When a guy really likes you, it’s usually pretty obvious. So too when a guy doesn’t like you. The uncertainty usually runs rampant if a guy seems to fall somewhere in between.

He disappears for days at a time and then texts you the sweetest message you’ve ever received. He says he really cares about you, but doesn’t really act like it. And while you’re on this topsy-turvy ride, all you want to know is does this guy like me or not?! You see, a guy can be somewhat interested, but not into it. Instead of seeing it for what it is, women make up excuses and justifications to rationalize the bad behavior away. They say he’s sending mixed messages or playing games or is afraid of getting hurt.

Ladies, my many years of dating and writing about dating have taught me one thing: there are no mixed messages. Either he’s into you or he’s not.

Here are five tell-tale signs that he’s not:

[Click here to keep reading…]

Give Thanks Without Getting Fat: The Do’s & Don’ts of Thanksgiving Dinner post image

The holidays are prefect for celebrating, but aren’t exactly ideal for healthy eating. Fortunately, you can make it through the holidays with your figure intact. The most important thing is to be aware of common traps that can pile on the pounds which is why I’m sharing some important do’s and don’ts for surviving Thanksgiving dinner.

Time to pack on the fun, not the pounds this holiday season!

[Click here to keep reading…]

Men and Relationships: 5 Signs He’ll Never Commit post image

The one question you will never hear a guy ask when he starts dating a girl is: “Will she commit to me?” It just doesn’t happen. Questions and uncertainties regarding commitment seem to be reserved for the ladies.

Women of all ages and across all cultures are united in their quest to determine the following: Does he like me? Is he serious about me? Will he ever commit to me?

And trust me, I get it.  I’ve experienced those gut-twisting feelings, the ones the leave you with a constant sense of impending doom in the pit of your stomach causing you to question everything, including yourself.

It’s understandable. I mean, there is a lot at stake when you put your heart on the line and you can end up wasting months, or years, of your life on a man who never intended to keep you around for the long haul. And the aftermath of these situations is never pretty.

Aside from knowing if he’s serious about you, it’s also helpful to have a clear idea of what makes a man commit and how to make him commit to a relationship with you, which you can learn about here:

MORE: How Do I Get Him To Commit To Me?

With regards to knowing if he’s really serious about having a relationship with you, what can we do to spare ourselves the time, energy, and heartbreak that goes into determining how a man feels?

After giving this topic a lot of thought and consulting with several guys, I’ve uncovered five tell-tale signs that he isn’t going to commit to you now or ever.  [Click here to keep reading…]

11 Undeniable Signs He’s In Love With You post image

He loves me … he loves me not … if only finding the answer were as simple as plucking petals off a flower. So what makes it so hard to determine if a man truly loves you?

A lot of us have ideas about what love should be, what it should look like, and how it should feel. A lot of the time these ideas are plain wrong (we can thank romantic comedies for that). Because of that, some of us might not recognize the real thing when it comes our way. Maybe it’s because of these grand visions of love that have been implanted in our minds, but it could also be the result of being burned too many times in the past and having walls up when it comes to either giving love or being able to receive it.

The point is, love is a tricky thing. A guy can say he loves you and not truly mean it, and a guy can love you a lot but not be ready to say it.

Love, as beautiful as it is, can also be scary, and a lot of us keep our guard up until we’re sure he feels a certain way in order to keep from getting hurt. As the saying goes, before you fall in love, make sure there is someone there to catch you. The trouble with this is that when you get caught up in trying to figure out if a man loves you, you can no longer be present in the relationship. Instead of connecting, you are stuck in your own worried thoughts, and those thoughts produce fears and insecurities that ultimately block you from getting the love you want.

So how do you know if a man is truly in love with you? If he shows these 11 signs, then it’s pretty safe to say he is.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Links We Love post image

Links We Love


20 Questions to Ask Your Guy When You REALLY Want to Know Everything  – Your Tango

5 Heartbreaking Reasons Women Stay in Toxic Relationships – The Stir 

4 Breakup Songs and Who They’re About – Newser 

How Emotional Cowards Are the New Relationship Con Artists – Elite Daily

15 Things You Can Change About Your Sex Life – Em & Lo

9 Surprising Things Men Look For in a Wife – Cosmo

17 Things We Wish We Could Say to Our Exes – Her Campus

Ask a Guy: How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back? post image

My ex broke up with me last month after being together for over a year. The last few months were rough because his grandmother passed away after being in the hospital for a few months. I tried to be there for him but he totally withdrew and would reject my advances and we started fighting a lot because of it.

He told me he loves me, but felt like I was smothering him and he needed to find himself. I told him I would give him space while he figured things out but he said he couldn’t ask me to do that. I asked if there was a chance for us once he got things sorted and he said he isn’t sure if he sees a future. He said he worships the ground I walk on and should never change because I was perfect in the relationship and will go far in life whereas he feels like he has nothing to offer since he is grieving and stuck in a job he doesn’t like.

He suggested we stay friends but I told him that would be too hard on me and he said I can contact him anytime. I know I came across needy over the last couple of months and am wondering if there’s anything I can do to get him back. Should I text him? Try to stay friends? Is there any hope of getting him back?

[Click here to keep reading…]

10 Best Quotes to Get Over a Breakup post image

There is no pain quite like that which follows a breakup. The pain isn’t just emotional, it can turn physical and you literally ache everywhere. When you’re going through it, it feels like you’ll be in it forever, like there is no way you will ever be able to go back to normal. You almost can’t remember a time when things did feel normal because now you feel nothing but despair.

Even though heartbreak is pretty ubiquitous and an inevitable part of life for most of us, it can be the loneliest feeling in the world. You feel like this pain is yours and yours alone and no one could ever possibly understand the depths of your suffering.

Part of the reason why I started writing about relationships was because of this lonely post-breakup feeling. I wanted others to know that there is a light at the end, that the pain does subside, that you can make it through the darkness and come out shinier and brighter than before. One thing that has always helped me, whether I was getting over a breakup or just a tough time, is my extensive quote collection which I started at the age of 14. I always found solace in reading a short line that perfectly encapsulated what I was going through and gave me a shot of wisdom in addition to making me feel a little less alone.

I read through my very, very long list of quotes and these are my favorites about getting over a breakup:

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: How Do You Find Love? post image

I’m at a place in my life where I want to find true love – not another fling, not another dead end relationship, not another man who just wants something casual.

How do you find love?  I want real love, the kind of love that lasts with a man who loves me for who I really am and wants to be with me forever.  Where can I find love and how do I know when I really have it?

[Click here to keep reading…]

5 Warning Signs You’re In a Toxic Relationship (And It’s Killing You) post image

Something I, and unfortunately many other women, know a lot about is toxic relationships. A toxic substance is something that causes damage to you, drains you, and depletes you. A toxic relationship can irrevocably damage your sense of self.

There are toxic relationships and then there are toxic relationships, and I found myself in the latter when I was a junior in college and head over heels in love with a guy who was all sorts of wrong. Like most relationships, this one got off to a relatively problem-free start. The chemistry was electric, the attraction was strong, conversation flowed effortlessly, and we couldn’t get enough of each other. I felt a pull toward him unlike anything I had ever felt before. I saw some signs of trouble early on, but convinced myself that it would all work out because it simply had to. But it didn’t.

As time went on things only got worse, and throughout the course of our year-long relationship I turned into a dark shadow of my former self. I was no longer fun, outgoing, optimistic, confident, and full of light. Instead I felt constantly on edge, painfully insecure, drained, and sad. I lived under a dark cloud of fear … fear that it would end, that he would leave. I may have been miserable with him, but I believed that without him I would be beyond repair, so I stayed. I stayed far longer than I should have. I stayed even though he gave me every reason not to. In the end, he was the one who left, and as expected I felt gutted.

[Click here to keep reading…]

Ask a Guy: When a Guy is Jealous… post image

I’ve been with my boyfriend for four months and he’s been acting more and more jealous.  At first, I found it sweet, but this weekend he snooped through my phone and accused me of talking to other men.

I can tell you with complete honesty that I haven’t talked to any other guys… the thought doesn’t even cross my mind.  I kept telling my boyfriend that I’m only interested in him, but he seems cold and withdrawn now. It’s like I’m being punished for a crime I didn’t commit.

Is this normal jealousy or is this something beyond? Can you tell me what to do when a guy is jealous?

[Click here to keep reading…]

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