I am definitely not perfect, nor is anyone else out there. However, I am someone with a vested interest in improving myself and finding ways to live a happier, more meaningful life. I know what it’s like for things to seriously suck. I know what it is to feel like the world is conspiring against you. I also know that changing the way you think about yourself and carry yourself in the world can have an enormous impact on your life as a whole.
I have thought a lot about the idea of bad habits to stop and good ones to adopt (no, I’m not talking about things like smoking, eating fast food, biting your nails, etc). It isn’t always easy, but I do it and in turn, I have seen some pretty incredible results.
Read on to learn how to improve your life and happiness with a few minor adjustments!
STOP: Thinking/saying bad things about people.
ADOPT: Looking for the positive in people
We have all been guilty of this one at one point or another- ‘she’s not pretty, what does he see in her?’ ‘She’s annoying why does anyone like her?’ “Ew, that guy is gross, why is he talking to me?” “What in the world is that girl wearing?” And I think I could go on and on for days. The things you say/think about other people actually say more about you than they do the other person. These things usually reflect some deep-rooted insecurity or bitterness and manifest themselves as ‘projection.’
Not only that, when you think mean things about people, it just changes your whole vibration and effects the energy that you put out to the world (not to sound too new age but it’s true!). Sure sometimes people annoy us or do things we don’t approve of, but instead of dwelling on the negatives, why not look at something positive? Trust me, thinking positive thoughts about other people is a much healthier way to truly feel good as opposed to putting them down and subconsciously reveling in your supposed superiority.
STOP: Putting yourself down
ADOPT: Total acceptance for who you are
“I’m so fat” “I’m so dumb” “I’m so lazy”- do thoughts like these bring any value to your life? NO! These thoughts only bring you down, zap you of all motivation, and make you feel like crap. Sure, striving towards improvement is a wonderful thing, but you will not get there by being your own worst enemy. Instead of ‘I’m so fat’ why not try: ‘My body isn’t perfect, but I do have great (insert positive attribute) and I can work on improving everything else.” Sounds simple (and it is), but trust me, it works. People don’t give thoughts enough credit. Thoughts affect everything- how we feel, what we say, how we interpret the world around us. What you think has a huge impact on your mood, so what do you think is gonna happen when you allow yourself to be consumed with negative thoughts? Well, you’re gonna end up in a negative mood!
Positive people who truly love and accept themselves are like magnetic attraction-fields. Those are the kind of people that others really want to be around because of their infectious aura. Well now YOU can be one of those people.
Criticizing others is a surefire way to not get them to respond in the way you want. When you criticize, it stirs resentment in the other person more than anything else and severely cripples their motivation (just think about all the times you’ve been criticized). Instead, try to offer praise, acknowledgment, and encouragement first. People are much more likely to do something (and to want to do it) when they know their work is being valued and appreciated. Also, it never actually feels good to be the criticizer (it usually makes me feel guilty and kind of like a bitch). Trust me, you’ll get the results you want and will feel a whole lot better if you use appreciation, kindness, and some helpful and constructive suggestions rather than an outright attack.
ADOPT: Being humble
Bragging is the biggest indicator that someone is insecure. When you brag, it isn’t usually because you really think you’re so great and incredible, it’s because you don’t believe these things but want to make other people think they’re true, make sense?
Bragging will get you nowhere. Well it will get you a few places, it will annoy people, it will incite eye-rolls galore, and it will make people think you’re either painfully insecure or annoyingly full of yourself.
Sometimes it feels like we need assurance, like we need someone to say: ‘Wow, you did that? That’s amazing! You are so incredible!’ However, just because it feels like we need it doesn’t mean we actually do. You know what’s even better than relying on other people to pick us up when we’re down? Picking ourselves up! You can’t find happiness or confidence on the outside, these things come from within. So praise yourself, acknowledge your achievements and know that you’re awesome.
- SABRINA ALEXIS