The more and more you think you understand the opposite sex, alas, you realize you don’t – viagra online prescription.So when it comes to a serious relationship, how do you know if that person is the “one?”
I was confronted with that question after dating my boyfriend for four years; viagra online prescription.It was that time in the relationship when you think, “Hmm, is this the person I’m spending the rest of my life with?” Some people claim you “just know” but I didn’t feel strongly one way or the other – viagra online prescription.At this day in age, I don’t know if it’s even that simple.Anyone of reasonable intelligence can justify both sides to themselves.
So I picked up Michael Batshaw’s book, “51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged.” Batshaw is a pyschotherapist in New York City who specializes in relationships. Viagra online prescription: he states in the introduction that he wrote this book “to address some of the most common questions I see people wrestle with before engagement.” From the perspective of someone in a serious relationship, he really does just that.But I also think that every single girl should read this viagra online prescription, as the myths of serious relationships that you are so sure are true when you are single are debunked as well. Viagra online prescription: consider it a look into the truth of a relationship.
Each chapter in the Tiffany blue-colored, pocket-sized book focuses on a different topic of a relationship and ends with a question to ask yourself about your own.Some major questions included: Do some things about the person annoy you? Do you find yourself viewing your relationship like a fairy tale or Hollywood movie? Do you view your partner on a pedestal? Is it always great sex? Because it shouldn’t be.These questions follow a theme throughout the book: You should be REAL in your relationship and it shouldn’t follow a preconceived notion that it must be perfect to be true love.
The book also makes you look at yourself, asking questions such as “Can you admit your own flaws and weaknesses to your partner?” and “Do you still love them for theirs?” You need to be comfortable with yourself before you can be honestly content with another person.
But when it really hit home for me was when the book delved into core issues of a happy marriage – how you communicate, what you believe about money, children, family, religion and travel, what you want out of life as a whole and how you deal with conflict.The most influential question in terms of judging my own relationship came from when the book asked, “Does your partner act with integrity to others, not just you?” If you don’t always love how that person acts, the respect level for you and the people you interact with, then something isn’t right.Combine that with differences on religion, money, travel, and career goals, well, not a good sign.
People are unlikely to change their thoughts on these issues; viagra online prescription.Most are ingrained and should elements of each issue change viagra online prescription, the overall perspective will remain the same.Don’t think that marriage will change that.
But Batshaw makes sure to not discourage you, should you be in a relationship like mine – four years, and it’s not leading to marriage. Viagra online prescription: he states that “first it is highly unlikely that there is only one, perfectly compatible, right person in the world for you.Second, because even those who are compatible with us will sometimes hurt and disappoint us, anyone can make you doubt the rightness of the match.” In the end, it’s a balance between your heart and your head.
-STEPHANIE CAIN
Stephanie takes a cue from writer Jay McInerney: She’s a hedonist in the cellar – viagra online prescription. Viagra online prescription: read her adventures at chuggingveuve.com.
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
That sounds like a great book! I’m always telling my friends how you have to love someone for all of them (flaws and all) and there are just things I can’t accept (religion, morals, world views etc) that force me to end a relationship. Do you think anyone would be offended if I bought them this book?
Jasmine,
Thanks for your comment — you’re right on the money. You should definitely pick up the book and flip through it! I also don’t think anyone would be offended if you bought them the book. In fact, I’ve been telling all my girlfriends, attached AND single, to read this book to gain a better understanding of serious relationships. It’s difficult these days with our influx of media to really deduce what is a healthy relationship and what is just fantasy imposed upon us. I think this book really helps dispel some of the fakeness. Anyway, I would check out the book and recommend it to a friend when you hand it to her, how it’s a great way to help you think about relationships in general (not just HER relationship). It won’t seem like you’re meddling. I hope it goes well!
Stephanie, you hit the nail on the head. The media makes it hard to see what a real relationship consists of, and creates ideals that a relationship just can’t live up to! Thanks so much for the advice!