When Sabrina and I started A New Mode, I would joke about how I could care less about female fashion and yet we were starting a fashion site. Truth is, I still don’t care… but now that the site is almost a year old, I am at least familiar with what women are wearing.
Every so often I’ll be working on a collage for the site and I’ll start talking to Sabrina about the things that the celebrities are wearing with my offensively male opinion. Now she’ll probably regret it, but Sabrina picked out a few looks that girls would consider fashionable or ‘trendy’ and asked me to provide some commentary.
I warned her that I was going to be honest. So before I begin, let’s just be clear: half of these things I would never notice, but since I’m writing this article I looked extra close. I just didn’t want any women to be confused and think that guys actually care about female fashion. 
Let’s begin…
Ashley Olsen:
This look isn’t bad. It kind of reminds me of a child hiding in a pile of blankets. I should mention that I loathe (LOATHE) circle sunglasses in general, but amazingly these aren’t all that bad. Not that I would ever notice this in “real life”, but her matching shoes, watch and bag is kind of cool too.
Overall, the look doesn’t do anything special for me. Wouldn’t turn my head…
.
.
.
Jessica Stroup:
Overall, I like this look. She’s rocking the outfit, which counts for something too. I dig the heels. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, heels are always a good idea (unless they’ll make the girl taller than me… then that’s a no-go).
The shorts are kind of gaudy/80’s-sh… I’m not a fan of anything that resembles the 80’s as far as fashion goes. On the other hand, she’s showing off lots of legs which definitely works for me. I like the shirt too, looks feminine and the material looks nice and smooth like a night gown. Plus it shows some skin, which (again) works for me.
I think the blazer is a good choice too. Nothing breaks my heart more than seeing a hot girl wearing square or puffy shoulders. I like the shape of a woman’s shoulders to look like… a woman’s shoulders!
Kim Kardashian:
Yikes. Wow.
I told Sabrina that I wasn’t going to tear into the outfits for the sake of being “snarky”. But this is a disaster.
Plus, Kim Kardashian can look really really good. She has a good body and yet… she’s wearing an outfit that looks like she’s trying to hide a weight problem.
It looks like she killed a golden retriever and wrapped it around herself. And I despise the leggings. Horrid. I think opaque leggings are just plain dopey looking. Anti-sexy.
I don’t know what it is, but those aviator glasses make her look scary. And I like aviators, but those are… not good.
Leighton Meester:
OK, yes. Now this is a good outfit. Shows off lots of skin… she’s not wearing a ton of blankets or shoulder pads or other crap. And most importantly, she’s not wearing tights. There is hope.
The shirt is a little weird, but I don’t care. I like this kind of outfit – feminine, shows off her body and curves (as opposed to covering it with squared shoulders, baloony harem pants, etc.) and isn’t slutty-looking.
The heels seem to give her some nice lift, which I dig. I’m not crazy about the closed-toe ballerina look, but it doesn’t bother me. Let’s be honest, I wouldn’t notice the footwear in real life, but it would make all the difference to me if she’s wearing heels versus flats.
Nicky Hilton:
The more I look at this outfit, the more angry I get. This looks terrible.
The squared shoulders and the blazer coming down to her hip make her body look like a square! I can’t stand outfits that obliterate any semblance of the female form. What woman-hating person created this outfit?
And again, I hate tights. Nude-colored tights aren’t horrible, but dark or light colored tights just stink. It takes something sexy (legs) and makes them look silly. The only thing worse than colored tights is opaque colored tights.
The one positive thing I can say about her outfit is I dig the high heels. The bracelet is OK too, I guess.
In conclusion, we learned the followed lessons:
- Tights look dopey.
- Squared shoulders make me nauseous.
- Wear whatever you want on your feet, as long as it has a heel on it.
- Show some skin.
(This is why straight guys don’t write fashion articles.)
- Eric Charles
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Your DEAD wrong. Nicky’s outfit is by FAR the best, and Jessica’s bare bony legs look the worst. I am a guy and I don’t get the whole bare leg trend at all..it’s like women waking up one day and saying you know what I am not wearing makeup anymore. Look at someone like Rachel Weisz or Kelly ripa barelegged and I want to throw up..buy a clue please.
Who says, “Buy a clue please?” Are you sure you’re a guy and not a girl impersonating one?
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Just saying…
I think Nicky Hilton looks like the Hamburglar with that shirt. Definitely not a fan of horizontal stripes. And bare legs > leggings. Leggings make me feel like you are hiding something under there that you don’t want people to see. Nothing sexier than nice smooth bare legs.
But in general guys, could not care less what a girl is wearing . Unless it’s those damn genie pants, or those gawdawful chinese slippers or Uggs … or ugly eyeglasses,
It is so interesting to get a guys opinion. What we think looks good can sometimes look awful, so its good to know what guys are thinking! But: I do hate square shoulders as well!!
I’m not a huge fan of tights as well, but its soo cold, that they really are a necessity.
OK, now Mike is a GUY. Couldn’t agree more, although Uggs don’t really bother me. Probably because it’s cold up in the Northeast – I’ve heard of LA girls wearing them to the beach, which is odd…
And Sherin, you have a point in terms of tights for the sake of not freezing your legs off, but something tells me that Nicky Hilton and Kim Kardashian weren’t exactly “braving the elements” in those pictures.
Thanks for the comments.
Interesting commentary. It’s nice to get a guy’s point of view on a fashion website. There are so many blogs and sites out there that would do well to at least get a male guest writer. It’s a refreshing point of view since fashion writing is female-dominated.
Haha thats totally what I thought when I first read that comment by Jim… Suuuuuure you are, ‘Jim’. …
I thinks its refreshing to get an honest perspective. Most women who love fashion look at it as an art, and like all art, its an expression. But as far as guys go- most of them won’t hear a word you’re trying to express! Its simply whether they are attracted to you or not and keeping your ‘female form’ would make sense.
Thanks Eric
Thanks Maria.
I can understand that logic and I’m not bashing “fashion as art” at all. But you’re absolutely right that guys do not see it that way. The only fashion we care about is one that makes you look sexy – I don’t mean that in a “look slutty” kind of way, I’m just saying that if you care about looking sexy to guys, don’t cover your natural curves with balloony diaper pants and square shoulders.
great post eric! i have always enjoyed reading your posts…as they are a man’s perspective…whether it be in relationships or fashion…we women often are very “off base” as to what we think men are thinking…
it is nice to see it your way…and in many ways…see things in a whole different light…
and…i love how you describe harem pants…they take on a whole new meaning as “balloony diaper pants” nuff said! haha
Wow, totally not what I was expecting, but a lot of good perspective here. Personally, I hate round sunglasses myself, they’re just…. not cute. It’s also really interesting just to hear how something simple like keeping your curves around can make such a huge difference in the way a guy sees your outfit. Maybe if Nicky would’ve lost the blazer and added a belt, she would’ve gotten some approval.
Thanks!