A Guy’s Take On Female Fashion, Part 2 post image

A Guy’s Take On Female Fashion, Part 2


Before the first “A Guy’s Take On Female Fashion” went live, I was a little unsure as to how it would be received.  I mean, as I said in my first post, I could honestly care less about female fashion.

That’s not to say that what a woman wears doesn’t make a difference to me.  It makes a huge difference – it’s just that I don’t care about “female fashion” as a concept.  Sabrina knew this and said I should do it anyway (I guess she was tired of listening to me insult some of fashion’s current “sacred cows”…)

So we went ahead and posted the article. Not everyone liked my viewpoint, but the article got a great response overall so we decided to keep it going.  Plus, I didn’t get crucified by the ANM audience so that was encouraging too.

Let’s take a look at this edition’s picks…

Beyonce

When we decided to start these, I told Sabrina that I wouldn’t be “snarky” just for the sake of being snarky.  You’ll get my honest opinion. That said, this outfit is a no for me.

First, I have never been a fan of bangs.  Yeah, I know that they’re hot right now, but they’ll be out of fashion again soon enough, just watch.  I’ve seen Beyonce look much better and I would argue that it was because she didn’t have the bangs.

Now for the jacket.  I don’t know if she was wearing it to pay homage to Michael Jackson, but big square shoulders are always a ‘no’ in my book.  Always. There is no straight guy on Earth who wants to see a woman dress in a way that makes her shoulders look manly.  It’s just stupid. On the plus side, I like her heels.  And since it’s Beyonce, they probably have some good lift on them, so I am all for that.

As for the white shirt and jeans, I think it’s just plain.  I guess you could say they are the fashion equivalent of oatmeal – I don’t have an opinion on them one way or the other.

All in all, the outfit would capture my attention, but not in a good way. The jacket should remain an MJ signature.

Blake Lively

A lot of people think leather pants look hot on a girl.  They don’t do much for me in general and they don’t do anything for me here.

Again, wearing heels is always good, although there is nothing particularly interesting about the ones she’s wearing.

The gray blazer isn’t bad – it doesn’t do much for me but at least the shoulders are feminine.  Maybe the blazer isn’t doing it since it falls straight, giving the appearance of a straight line all the way up the side of her body instead of curves which look… well… feminine.

This outfit is just plain-Jane.  The leather pants are unusual, but I wouldn’t look twice if I saw her on the street.

Nicole Richie

I like this outfit a lot actually.  I would even (grudgingly) say that she looks good here all-around.

After working on ANM for a year, I do know what a “boho maxi” is.  This is not something I’m proud of.

Still, I totally approve of this look.  It’s feminine, it shows off her form and doesn’t hide her natural curves which happens with bubble pants and square shoulders.  Plus, I know she’s wearing heels, so that’s hot.  I dig her hair too… no bangs!

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Reese Witherspoon
I’ve never liked tube-tops or strapless dresses.  I’m sure that women know why they look different in a technical sense… all I can say is that I’ve always thought it just looks dumb.

I am a fan of any outfit with a skirt, although I would have liked her in a shorter skirt… What can I say?

I do like her hair.  I guess she has bangs, but they don’t look bad on her.  I could live with it.

And she’s wearing heels, so as I’ve said many times before, I approve.  Overall I think this is a good look, even with the dumb-looking strapless top.

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Rihanna

Let’s be clear: Rihanna is a hot chick.  Really attractive. So when I see her wearing an outfit that looks like this, the only thing I can do is shake my head.

What the hell is going on?  First, the huge square shoulders are a monstrosity.  The balloony harem pants/capris look like a garbage bag fashioned for a themed college frat party.

Plus, her hair is weird like someone smushed a mohawk.  For the sake of comparison, I have included a picture of Rihanna with a good hairstyle, where she looks jaw-droppingly hot.  See below:

It’s like a perfect trifecta of ridiculous fashion trends designed to make me lose all faith in humanity.

It’s so dumb looking that even the peek of her navel doesn’t score any points.  I don’t know what it is.  It’s like there’s so much nonsense surrounding her belly-button that it doesn’t even compute in my male-brain as part of a sexy woman anymore.  She looks more like a fun smiling alien coming to show me moon rocks.

Seriously, why can’t a hot chick just be a hot chick?  Throw on a dress and some heels and get a sexy hairstyle like you used to have.  Even the heels don’t save this ensemble.

Whitney Port
OK, I am a big fan of the leg exposure on this one.  I don’t exactly dig the fact that the entire upper portion of her body is covered (including her arms), but at least the outfit doesn’t cover her feminine form.  Again, she’s showing off tons of legs and that makes this outfit a complete winner in my book.

The heels are great too.  I mean, don’t get me wrong – if I weren’t writing this article I wouldn’t make a big deal about one heel versus another, but those silver shiny heels with all those strappy-things look really hot on her.  (I must be driving women nuts as they read my neandrathalic ramblings about how to describe fashion stuff.  I try though.)

Now, someone might accuse me of saying that I like stripper-looking heels… to which I would not argue, but I think these walk the line of looking both very sexy and classy.

I like her hair too.  No bangs, looks nice and soft.

So what did we learn today?

  • Some people can make bangs work, but in general bangs are a horrid creation.
  • If you’ve got legs show them off liberally.
  • Big squared shoulders are anti-feminine.
  • Shiny, strappy heels are hot.
  • Tube-tops and strapless tops look dumb.
  • Harem pants are ridiculous.
  • Rihanna needs a hair time-machine.
  • There was only one Michael Jackson.

So there you have it.  My second edition of “A Guy’s Take On Female Fashion”.  And whether you like it or not, another one is on the way sometime soon so brace yourselves.

– eric charles

18 comments… add one

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Melissa Subia

Lol…I loved reading your viewpoints…they were hilarious! I mean, what you said made sense and I mostly agreed with you, but your delivery was humorous! Thanks again for taking the time! 🙂

Reply August 22, 2012, 3:43 pm

Chelsy

Thank you, thank you, thank you for telling it like it is re tube tops and strapless dresses! I can’t stand that look! Over the winter, I tried to find a ball gown and a cocktail dress and couldn’t find one that wasn’t strapless, couldn’t find a single one I liked that wasn’t strapless. When they decide on a trend in women’s fashion, every designer and clothing company follows it thoroughly without other options and without variety. I ended up not buying the dress and gown and wore something older from my closet. Even all the wedding gowns are now strapless. Who wants to wear something so uncomfortable on such an important day and wear it to a church?! I would feel so exposed, plus, churches are cold.

Reply February 25, 2011, 8:03 pm

?????? ???? ????

Beyonce’s outfit is cute, and I like her bangs there. Second: That last outfit is horrnedous. The heels you admire so much don’t even match the dress, and really?

Reply January 22, 2011, 6:36 pm

Eric Charles

@MJ That’s the perfect way to put it: “a girl must look hot, feminine and normal.” That would be my ideal world. Instead we live in a world of bangs, weird mohawks, dumb-looking balloon pants and boxy, masculine shoulders. Ugh.

@Keli I would take oatmeal over weird & unfeminine-looking any day. And I haven’t changed my opening of that lovely Whitney Port outfit. 🙂

Although, it is true that if she were wearing a garbage bag and still showing the same amount of skin, I would like that outfit equally.

Reply March 14, 2010, 2:19 pm

Keli

Call me oatmeal, because jeans, a plain black tee, and a pair of heels are my uniform. But nice hearing the male point of view…your comments actually made a lot of sense…although I found Whitney Port’s look to be horrendous from head -to-toe.

Reply March 13, 2010, 10:28 pm

MJ

p.s. they are not “neandrathalic ramblings about how to describe fashion stuff”, I actually love your descriptions.

Reply February 20, 2010, 11:26 am

MJ

Yay for part 2!
Love your point of view!
Us girls complicate our lives too much with all the trend frenzy and forget that guys want it fresh and simple: a girl must look hot, feminine and normal. hehe
Can’t wait for part 3 😉

Reply February 20, 2010, 11:24 am

Eric Charles

@Sabrina
Hahaha – I laughed when I read your comment about paper bag covered in poop… if you have any images of Whitney Port wearing one, I’ll see if I can work it into the next “Guy’s Take”.

Reply February 19, 2010, 7:48 pm

Eric Charles

@Krystina

Her outfit is fine. Doesn’t set off any sparks for me, but didn’t have a problem with it. Good song – I prefer studio-produced stuff to live tracks any day of the week, but I liked it. (Not that this is “Ask a Guy About His Musical Tastes,” but I figured I’d share. 😉

Reply February 19, 2010, 7:47 pm

Sabrina Alexis

Approved! All the comment that include a link need moderation to keep the spammers away.

Also, I totally agree and think Whitney’s outfit is awful! I actually picked out the celebs for Eric to comment on and I was positive he would tear this one to shreds… it looks like she was wearing a shower curtain! However, with that kind of look I think all guys are gonna see are the legs so he and every other guy would prob still approve even if she was wearing a paper bag covered in poop… as long as it was short enough!

I do agree with him about Beyonce though, she is absolutely gorgeous but bangs are not for her. I love bangs in general but they just don’t work on some people, myself included!

Reply February 19, 2010, 9:23 am

Krystina Scott

To answer any questions you might have, NO. I am not professionally promoting Company of Theives, but I do think they deserve some world wide recognition… and you say… yes. I believe you’re right. I love this band… They’re amazing… ( honestly, don’t ban me. I was seriously only looking for your opinion) because I admire your point of view.

Reply February 19, 2010, 12:27 am

Krystina Scott

lol. my last comment is awaiting “moderation” ? 🙂 it’s all good. Have fun deciphering all that. Still LOVE ANM either way. Thanks for listening.

Reply February 19, 2010, 12:14 am

Eric Charles

@Krystina Scott

I loved your comments. And thank you, I really appreciate the compliments – we definitely try our best.

But I still stand by my Whitney Port comments. 🙂

Reply February 18, 2010, 11:07 pm

Krystina Scott

One more thing: I love ANM’s innovative take on everything. This “point of view” article is quite brilliant. It caught my attention anyway. Nice job. I wish you all the best of what future is to come.

Reply February 18, 2010, 9:02 pm

Krystina Scott

maybe they match, but I still think that dress is horrendous. :p

Reply February 18, 2010, 8:48 pm

Krystina Scott

ok. I agree with you to a point. First, I think Beyonce’s outfit is cute, and I like her bangs there. Second: That last outfit is horrnedous. The heels you admire so much don’t even match the dress, and really? you really like those legs? Personally I think she could wear something much more flattering. I do love your perspective though. I totally agree with you on the Nicole Richie and the Rihanna comments. Keep writing, and I’ll keep reading.

Reply February 18, 2010, 8:45 pm

Eric Charles

Thanks. You’re a sweetheart. 😉

In real life I would never comment on someone’s outfit like this. I already that women like to wear outfits that I don’t prefer, but it’s a matter of personal taste.

For me, I draw a line in making comments about trendsetting, which is essentially what celebrities do in the context of fashion. So my content isn’t to attack any of the celebrities on a personal- or character-level, but to comment on the trendsetting happening in the photographs.

So don’t worry, your closet is safe.

Reply February 18, 2010, 7:02 pm

Nicole

You are so cute! Wouldn’t want you judging MY closet though…

Reply February 18, 2010, 3:59 pm

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