Welcome to another edition of “A Guy’s Take On Female Fashion”. This is my third installment in the series and it’s a very special edition since we’re going to cover red carpet fashion!

Now, in case you haven’t read any of my previous articles on female fashion, I care about red carpet fashion as much as I care about the latest female fashion trends in general (that is, I couldn’t care less).  Still, since Sabrina and I run this site together, we think it’s fitting that we keep things balanced by providing perspectives on female fashion from both of our points of view.

If you love red carpet fashion, then you will probably hate my opinion.  Let’s get into it.

Amanda Seyfried:

I’ve never been a fan of one-shoulder outfits or outfits that resemble a shoulder sling.  I don’t know if it’s the asymmetry or my brain’s association with an outfit that an Amazon woman would wear, but I’ve always thought dresses and tops with one shoulder strap looked weird.

The translucent material looks trashy.  I don’t know if the material is supposed to be sexy, but it’s not.  What is that thing under the shear-material?  A corset?  I really don’t know what is going on from the hips up.

Now the skirt is good.  It’s short enough to be sexy and the pattern is interesting without being over-the-top.  Skin exposure is always a plus in my book (no sausage-casing tights, please).

I realize she’s wearing fuzzy boots reminiscent of Uggs and I have no feeling on them either way.  I know that some people hate Uggs and anything Ugg-like, but I don’t care and I don’t think guys in general care.  Sure, we might think you’re a dummy if you’re wearing Uggs to the beach, but that’s your problem if you’re one of those people.

For the most part I don’t like the outfit, but I do like her hair.

Amber Valetta:
This would be an awesome-looking dress if someone ripped off the stupid square shoulders and threw them off a cliff.  I HATE SQUARE SHOULDERS.

The color of the dress looks great on her.  I know I always say that I don’t care about female fashion and all that, but I am a sucker for excellent color choice in general.

The shoes are nothing special, but sensible for the outfit.  Plus they are heels and I always like heels.

Her hair looks good (no bangs).  Given the choice, I like women with their hair down and lots of volume.  I’m sure she looks very nice with her hair down.

Overall I think this outfit looks very elegant and simplified.  Again, the shoulders are ridiculous, but I’d still give it a passing grade.

Ashley Olsen:

I haven’t seen Alice in Wonderland, but this outfit looks like some kind of Alice in Wonderland midget that would haunt my dreams.  Just horrible.

Her hair looks fine.  Her heels look fine.

But that dress… my god.  The puffy shoulders are horrid, the wide waist makes her look like an oompa-loompa and the wide skirt looks silly.

The skirt length is good, but there is no chance of this outfit looking sexy.  It just looks ridiculous.

Ashley Tisdale:

Yes!  Now we’re talking.

This is what I’m always saying: a girl should look hot, feminine and normal.  Is that so much to ask?

Her top looks feminine, great color and the smooth material gives a feeling of sensuality.

Her accessories are interesting, but not over-the-top.  Erring on the side of subtlety is usually a good thing in these wacky times.

Her skirt is very sexy.  Eye-catching, interesting and most-importantly short.

The fact that she’s wearing high heels is great, but I have always felt cheetah-print is cheesy looking and silly.

Her hair looks good.  I guess you technically could say she has bangs, but I don’t consider those bangs since they don’t cover her forehead.  Forehead coverage just looks stupid… that’s why bangs were out of fashion for so long in the first place!
This outfit is all around sexy and by far the leader of this pack in my male-opinion.

Chloe Sevigny:

Words can’t even describe the horror I am experiencing as I look at this outfit.

It looks like there’s a good dress underneath that awful, out-of-control, full-body tu-tu.  Again, translucent, gauzy-looking materials are just lame.

Her heels are fine, nothing special.  Hair is plain and understated…  given the train-wreck of an outfit she’s wearing, I wish she wore her hair down to distract me from the mess.

This outfit is just a disaster and that’s that.

Nicole Richie:

Nicole looks good here.  I like this outfit.

I wouldn’t call it a “sexy” outfit, but I would call it a sensual-looking outfit… which is sexy in a way.

It’s attention-catching, feminine and interesting, but not out-of-control or try-hard.

You really can’t go wrong with something symmetrical and feminine.

I’m anti-bangs, but I even think her hair looks good here.

Rachel Bilson:

I looked at this for a while, trying to figure out my opinion.

My determination?  I think it’s a stupid-looking outfit and it does nothing for me.

I don’t like that it looks like a strapless dress with shoulder covers added.

And I hate that it’s “hairy looking”.   I would be distracted by her hairy dress if I had to sit next to her at an event (not that I have that to worry about).

I always like heels, but these heels do nothing for me.

The good points?  Her hair looks good and matching the color of her earrings to dress is a nice touch.  Overall the outfit is a bust though.

So there you have it:  Another edition of my take on women’s fashion – complete.  What did we learn today?

• If you’ve got legs, show them off.  The more, the better.
• Err on the side of subtlety when it comes to accessories.  Guys could care less, so there’s no reason for you to look like an Incan deity.
• You can’t go wrong with something symmetrical, feminine and normal looking.
• Square shoulders are the worst creation ever.
• One-shoulder outfits look dumb.
• Cheetah-print is cheesy.
• Don’t dress like an oompa-loompah.
• I couldn’t care less if you wear Uggs or not.
• Translucent, gauzy or shear material sucks, with the exception of sexy nightgowns and lingerie.

- Eric Charles

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Tagged as: Amanda Seyfried style, Amber Valetta style, Ashley Olsen style, Ashley Tisdale style, Chloe Sevigny style, dressing for men, how to dress for guys, male opinion on female fashion, Nicole richie style, Rachel Bilson Style

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