Ladies: These Are the 10 Things Your Man Really Wants From You post image

Ladies: These Are the 10 Things Your Man Really Wants From You


While every guy has his quirks and preferences, when it comes down to it we aren’t that complicated. When we’re in a relationship, what we really want is respect, appreciation, admiration, and love.

Problems persist in relationships because guys have different ways of expressing these desires than women do. So how can a girl ensure she’s giving her guy what he needs so he’ll stick around for the long term?

Here’s a list of ten actions every woman needs to take in order to make sure her beau stays crazy about her.

1. Give Him Space
There’s a fine line between showing you care and being clingy. Guys love it when you pay attention to them and send them cute emoji text messages, but there are also times you need to back off with all the attention. Sometimes guys need alone time, time with friends, or time to pursue personal goals. Guys are all different with respect to how much space they need and when they need it, so it’s important for you to learn your guy’s preferences (and your guy should help you with this by making his preferences clear to you).

If a guy doesn’t text you or return your call for a few hours, or even a whole workday, it doesn’t mean he fell out of love with you. More than likely, your guy is working on something important that he wants to achieve specifically for you!

QUIZ: Why Doesn’t He Text Back? 

Whether he’s at the gym working on his physique, in the trenches getting a new business off the ground, or staying socially plugged in via business networking events or bonding with his boys from school, whatever he’s doing, he’s likely doing it with your benefit in mind.

We guys are notoriously bad at multitasking and we’re very goal-driven, so give us the benefit of the doubt when we need our space, and don’t take it personally when we only have the ability to focus on the immediate task at hand. If you give your guy the space he needs, he’ll have more energy when he’s with you and he won’t resent the time he spends with you.

2. Have His Back
While it’s true that men are traditionally the primary protectors in a relationship, nothing sends a message to a guy like standing up for him and defending him when the situation arises. Usually, these are non-physically threatening situations like social events.

For example, maybe you’re at a friend’s house and a group of guys and gals are making fun of your guy. Do you laugh at the cheap jokes, or do you defend him? There’s no action that demonstrates loyalty and commitment to a guy like a public show of support. If you defend your guy and show him that you’re emotionally there for him, it will increase his confidence and he will feel more emotionally attached to you. Additionally, the sense of security it gives him will make him commit even more to being there for you. Show your consideration for him, and your guy will be blown away by how appreciated he feels.

3. Believe in Him
When I was growing up, I, as well as all of my friends, thought we were going to play in the NFL someday. Unfortunately, that day never happened for any of us, but it drives the point home that guys inherently dream big. As boys grow into men, our dreams may change to those of a house with a white picket fence, but nonetheless we need your support.

When a guy opens up to you and reveals his deepest desires, recognize that he’s being intimate with you. When a guy tells you about his plans for the future, realize that he’s scared you’re going to laugh or think it’s a stupid idea. Guys are insecure, even though they rarely show it. Men these days are constantly being bombarded and pressured by society’s vision of who they should be, and there’s nothing that deflates a guy more than when his girl doesn’t believe in him.

MORE: 5 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men

A guy relies on you as his confidant. His co-conspirator. You are the one person he wants to share everything with. And if he doesn’t have your backing, whose does he have? Guys become emotionally healthy men when they are confident, when they feel they can achieve, and when they feel like they’re progressing towards a meaningful goal. And guys will never feel secure in their ability to live life to the fullest without your support.

4. Call Out His BS
Did I mention guys have dreams? Yes, and guys can have their heads in the clouds, too. Since guys think big, they’re liable to have an overinflated sense of self and ability. Very. But, you can help your guy by keeping his feet firmly on the ground. You may need to gently and tactfully pop his bubble from time to time and call him out on his BS when it’s flagrant or excessive.

Keep in mind that even if a guy doesn’t show it, he truly appreciates you when you do this. When you call your guy out on his BS, you save him time and energy on something he never should have attempted in the first place. In effect, you’re saving him from himself, and if he has the humility to recognize that, he will adore you for it.

5. Value His Opinion
Guys have opinions and they want to be heard. Guys want to feel as though they matter in this world, that their ideas are respected. Guys are programmed to need to feel respected in order to feel good about themselves.

When you show a guy that you value his opinion, he automatically thinks you respect him. If you nonchalantly dismiss his opinions as elementary or even worse, stupid, you’re going to crush him, and relationship problems will ensue. Now, I’m not saying don’t disagree with your guy – because you should when appropriate – just show him that at least in your eyes his thoughts, opinions, and emotions are valid and worthy of respect. When guys feel respected they feel valued, and the better a guy feels about himself the more energy and vitality he can bring to your relationship.

6. Keep Him On His Toes
Guys are biologically wired to constantly be on the hunt for new and exciting things, so they will naturally be more interested in you if you’re able to shake things up from time to time. And this doesn’t need to be anything complicated.

It can be as simple as surprising him with tickets to an event, or a small gift. Or, instead of him always coming to your place, why don’t you meet him at his apartment? What if you were mysteriously unavailable for a short amount of time and played a little hard to get?

When you shake things up with the guy you’re with, it demonstrates that you’re thinking about him and thinking about ways to satisfy him – both of which show him you care.

7. Compliment His Style
Guys have different styles. My friends from New York and Los Angeles wear skinny pants and Brooks Brothers, but my preference—being from Seattle—has always been a North Face jacket and jeans. Either way, all guys love it when they get compliments from their girl for making an effort to look good.

Yes, you can (and should) give fashion tips, but remember that a guy wants to maintain his identity, too. One of the ways he does this is by wearing comfortable clothes he likes. So, the next time your guy comes over to your place with a haircut, freshly shaved, wearing a new coat, tell him how good he looks. He’ll feel appreciated and he’ll want to return the favor.

8. Appreciate His Efforts
Sometimes logistics make relationships difficult.

If you’re with a guy who lives far away but travels to see you, or does anything that saves you time, money, or any sort of worry, make it known to him that you acknowledge and appreciate what he’s doing. In a city like New York, if your guy rides the subway an hour to see you, or is sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way to pick you up, tell him how much it means to you that he’s spending so much time in transit to see you.

Another easy way to do this is to remember to say thank you for things like doors held open and restaurant checks taken care of—guys will notice. When you show appreciation for the guy you’re with, he’ll feel special in your eyes and will want to give even more to you.

9.  Pay Attention to Him

When you’re out with your friends or in other social situations, don’t forget about your guy. He may be the type to work the room, or he may be on the introverted side. Either way, he wants you to be with him. It’s not that he can’t function on his own, … (continued – Click to keep reading Ladies: These Are the 10 Things Your Man Really Wants From You)

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Reply April 17, 2016, 3:47 am

Kathleen

I love all these articles and emails. It seems they are all directed at me personally. I have met a guy that seems to be a great match for me so far and as I have had many failed relationships, for the first time I am trying very hard to do this one right! I read your emails and articles every day. Keeping myself in check and not being neurotic and obsessed is a giant task for me and I’m trying to change that, for myself. Thank you.

Reply August 5, 2015, 12:05 pm

Michaela

Way to stereotype and generalize your own gender, sir. Not all men are the same, behave the same, think the same, or want the same things in a relationship.

And guess what, as women, we want these exact same things in a relationship.

Reply May 3, 2015, 9:40 pm

Marivel

What does it mean when a man sleep arnd with many women and me too but with time he stops having sex with me, but still wants to spend time with me but won’t have it he pushes me away , but he’s still hsving sex with many women ?? Help

Reply March 9, 2015, 11:26 am

ray

It means you don’t satisfy him in bed and he won’t waste time telling you this because once he does, h4 won’t know if you’re being a good lay cuz you want to or if it’s cuz he said something

Reply March 23, 2016, 10:08 am

kim

Hi Iv’e been in a four year relationship, and about two months ago he broke up with me, but I wouldnt blame him even though he would try and avoid and hurtful things to say or try and tell me where im going wrong he would just say I dont want to change you and now he tells me out straight I dont want a relationship but ill always be around and ill be here for you, but I guess probably for sex but he doesnt suggest it and i always give in and Im not really that type of person with a low self-esteem and i dont want to become that person im just curious to know if i should move forward or try to get him back?

Reply March 6, 2015, 7:19 am

Alesia777

I recently started dating after after a 14 year marriage ended. I met a guy on New Years Eve and we had great chemistry. He started texting me several times a day and we went out several times. We got pretty close in a short amount of time. I was surprised because the last thing I wanted was a relationship. Lately, his work hours increased and he became distant. Texting slowed down and I seemed to be initiating them. Now it’s been 5 days and nothing. I feel like it’s too new to initiate a text message and don’t know how/why I could feel needy towards him. I wanted to get to know him better but feel at this point I should just let it go and walk away?

Reply February 5, 2015, 9:56 am

Antoinette

Great article! This is true because I am living it.

Reply February 5, 2015, 9:43 am

Isabelle

Hello!

I’m new to this,so I’m not sure if there’ll be a response,but I really hope to get a answer 🙂

I have a question about this guy…
So this guy has been chasing me for about 8 months for just one kiss,I guess I was sort of leading him on and off but nothing mean,I just wasn’t sure about him.This story has way more details of course but once I gave him the chance I started to like this guy then we kissed him and he really likes me back but he never thought this was going to go anywhere,he thinks he doesn’t deserve me and that I’m perfect.He also doesn’t have confidence that he’ll be a good boyfriend.Now that we both like each other,we are planning to have a relationship but he needs “time”.I asked him for what and he answered “to clear up on his immaturity to fully commit to me”.And when I asked him what kind of immaturity? Well he said “meaningless sex”… Now I understand that guys have sex in them biologically and we both know that if we date,it’ll be a time-while thing and that I don’t want to have sex yet so I can’t grant him that need. So of course I’m letting him (I mean I don’t want to,so ya) he said it won’t mean anything,that it’ll take him a month tops and that I don’t have to worry.
Now should I be worrying about this and why?

I eagerly await an answer,if I need to add any details to my story for my answer to be clearer I do not mind giving them at all 🙂

Love,Isabelle

Reply January 21, 2015, 8:36 pm

Alexa

Hi Isabelle!
I’ll give you a quick opinion of mine about your situation….I think the guy who has been “chasing” after you for eight months should definitely be already ready for you. If he was previously so desperate to be with you, why would he be needing a month away from you…? I think that he’s still unsure what he wants and is confused himself, and he probably doesn’t like the thought of being tied down to one girl. Now, this is what I’m getting from the general info you gave. Hope this kind of helps you figure out what’s going on! 🙂
-Alexa

Reply February 1, 2015, 5:17 pm

Megan

Hi I used to get emails everyday from this website from Sabrina giving relationship advice and I never recieve them anymore. Can you put me back on the list or tell me what to do ? Thank u

Reply January 20, 2015, 12:17 pm

Kathy

Great article! Very informative, I will try to put it all to good use!

Reply January 14, 2015, 3:23 pm

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