Ask a Guy: Drank Too Much, Trouble Ensued post image

Ask a Guy: Drank Too Much, Trouble Ensued


I went on my second date with this guy who happens to be a co-worker.  Up until that point everything was great: fun conversation, chatting of texts, etc.

On our second date I had nothing to eat that day and we went out for drinks.  Long story short, I ended up getting extremely drunk out of the blue, got sick and he ended up having to baby-sit me at his place that night. That morning he poked some fun at me, but was very sweet.  I texted him to apologize, but he hasn’t responded yet (it’s been a few hours).

Everything leading up to now has been so good and would indicate he’s into me (holding hands, gazing into my eyes, etc.)  Please tell me what I should do next and if I may have lost my chance with him.  And if I screwed it up, how do I redeem myself?


That’s certainly embarrassing, but what happened happened…  the best you can do now is just relax and give him some space to come back to you.

Everyone makes mistakes and you don’t sound like an alcoholic or anything.  You just sound like a girl who made a mistake like anyone does.

But it’s a forgivable mistake and it’s not a deal-breaker or anything.  Who knows, it may have even humanized you in his eyes – sometimes people feel closer to others when they see them at their worst, most-unguarded, most-vulnerable state.

Just relax and don’t sweat it.  You said you were embarrassed and that you were sorry… that’s all that needed to be said.  If you can show that you’re secure enough to just relax and let it go, it will come across as attractive.

Most girls screw situations like this up after whatever original incident they feel was the problem.  To puke is human, but to become insecure and needy is deadly to attraction.

For example, I know this girl who met a guy she really liked.  They went on a few dates together and everything was going along great.

Now this girl also got into the same type of situation… wasn’t keeping track of how much she was drinking and ended up with her head in the bowl all night at a party.

These things happen.  I wouldn’t call this a shining example of humanity at its best, but the guy looked at it as a mistake and kind of felt bad for the girl for having such a rough night.

Problem is:  she thought admidst her teary eyes, disheveled hair and runny make-up that there was no way he could ever see her as attractive again and started getting really needy and constantly texting him for reassurance that he still liked her and thought she was attracted.

Moreover, because she thought she ruined her chances, she basically sabotauged herself.  When he did try to reassure her, she would dismiss it and say something like, “You’re just saying that…” or “You’re just trying to make me feel better.”  Uhh…  excrutiating – it hurts my heart to think about it.

The sad part is that when he ran screaming for the hills (and believe me it only took about a week of this neediness for him to want to vanish), she was still convinced that it was the original incident that was the problem.

Oh yeah and one more thing… I totally got sick on a date once for mixing up a bunch of different cheap liquor and not watching myself.  Embarrassing yes, but it didn’t negatively affect my relationship because I didn’t let it affect me.  She still gave me crap though and it was well deserved. 😉

Just trust that you are still attractive in his eyes and that it’s behind you both.  Give it a little time and relax – you’ll be fine.

Hope it helps,

eric charles

7 comments… add one

Leave Your Comment Now...

Silvia

I’m 30 years old and spent a second date throwing up on my own shoes after getting drunk. My date tried to drive me home, but had to stop on the way to allow me puke. I apologized and explained that I needed alcohol in order to dare be myself with him, because I like him so much. Then he blasted: “You’re 30 years old!!!”. He agreed to take me out on a third date, anyway.

Reply April 28, 2014, 8:02 am

Maria

Hi Eric,

I came across this article while desperately searching for advice how to overcome a major screw up that just happened last weekend. I have been seeing this guy long-distance for almost 2 years. When I saw him last weekend it had been about 8 months since we last saw each other. He’s made it clear that he’s not ready for a relationship but that he really likes me, and I thought that I was cool with that. Anyway, he invited me along with a lot of his family and friends on a weekend trip. I had never met any of them before. On Saturday they had a house party and everyone was drinking all day, including me. After several hours of heavy drinking I blacked out, and started telling one of his cousins how much I love him but he can’t know and then I started crying ( I don’t remember any of this). I guess all my suppressed feelings came to the surface and came out a horrible way. He tried to calm me down because we were in front of his family and friends and I eventually passed out on the couch. Unfortunately this was not the end of it. He carried me to the car and drove back to the hotel where we were staying along with his brother and his wife. He put me in bed and went over to his brother’s room. Well, apparently after about 10 minutes I thought it was a great idea to go over there and continue my drunken stupor. His brother tried to talk to me and calm me down but I told him to forget that, and basically cursed him out and told him that I hate his brother because I love him so much…I guess I was crying the whole time too.

The next morning the guy I’m (was) seeing was very nice to me and he wasn’t upset. I apologized to him, his brother, and everyone else. His brother was really nice about it too and told me he still likes me and that I was just drunk. But I’m devastated. How could I allow myself to get to that point? To cause a scene like that? In front of his family too, the first time I met them. I don’t think there’s any coming back from this. I made a total fool of myself and embarrassed him too. I don’t think he’s ever going to look at me the same way again. He told me that he wants to see me again but maybe he was just being nice. I can’t see how he would want to have anything to do with me after this. I mean it’s such a big no no. It’s only been a couple of days since I got back and I’ve only heard from him once asking me if I got home ok. I guess my question is do you think there’s a way to overcome this? Should I keep apologizing or fall back and give him space? The more I think about what happened and my behavior the worse I feel. I have never felt more ashamed in my life, and he’s the last person in the world that I wanted to see me like that.
Please help

Reply November 12, 2013, 1:00 pm

Holly

Hi Eric,

Thank you for the reply. I felt silly for posting but your advice was exactly what I was thinking would be best. I appreciate it. 🙂

Reply September 22, 2011, 8:34 pm

Eric Charles

It’s all good – I appreciate you asking and I’m sure there’s like 1000 women who read this article and had the same question as you. Good luck!

Reply September 22, 2011, 9:34 pm

Holly

Hi Eric – two questions for you, towards the end of this article you reference a girl who acted needy after this situation and ‘he’ went running for the hills and she saw the original problem as the problem vs her needyness. I am embarassed to say I have recently done this myself – first time out of the gate after a horrible break-up. This man and I had a wonderful, much in common, etc and then poof, I screwed it up and after some alcohol dragged some of my old relationship baggage into the mix. He has since run for the hills and I have come to the realization that I created this mess through my neediness after the fact, trying to ‘explain.’ UGH! Is there anything I can do to fix this situation with him? And do men ever get over something like this and come back around? Thanks – I enjoy your articles.

Reply September 22, 2011, 3:29 pm

Eric Charles

Hi Holly,
.
Thanks – I’m glad you like my articles. 🙂
.
Don’t think of it as something that needs to be “fixed”. Think of it more that you need to just get over it yourself and regain your “mojo” or confidence.
.
You may have made him uncomfortable, but it’s 10 times worse if you keep apologizing for it and trying to make up for it.
.
Just relax, forgive yourself, “check your baggage” and return to enjoying your life. If you return to being the happy, easy going person he was attracted to in the first place, he’ll probably come back around.
.
And if he doesn’t, in a worst case scenario you’re still happy instead of feeling guilty and ashamed.
.
Forgive yourself, move forward.

Reply September 22, 2011, 8:29 pm

stephanie

well the problem that iam haveing is that i got involed with this guy right afther i got out of one relationship and i thank that it was to soon now but at the time i thought that i would do me good that i would be able to move on with my life and get over my husband but then i found out that this guy just wont me as a sex parnter and i dont wont to be made to feel like iam a no body how do i tell this guy that things are over. with out harming our friendship

Reply March 26, 2011, 8:51 pm

Leave a Comment

Recent Relationship Forum Activity

STOP LETTING MEN
CONFUSE YOU

Sign up for our
free newsletter
and get a free chapter
of our book,"He's Not
That Complicated"