The No Contact Rule: Everything You Need to Know post image

The No Contact Rule: Everything You Need to Know

… (Previous page – The No Contact Rule: Everything You Need to Know) that it’s up to you to draw the line in the sand, as hard as that will be. You don’t want to do it because you want him in your life and you want him back and you’re afraid if you cut him off then he’ll be gone forever. That’s a possibility, but if he doesn’t come back then it means the relationship was never going to last anyway, and at least you cut it off early instead of letting things drag on for an indefinite amount of time.

Just remember, why would you ever want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? Why would you want to invest in someone who no longer wants to invest in you? You’re worth way more than that!

If he keeps contacting you, just kindly tell him you need space to focus on yourself and your own life. Don’t be cruel or nasty about it, be casual, calm, and composed. He will probably be taken aback by your new attitude, but don’t let that change things. Remember, take time for you. Make yourself the priority during this time.

That’s what the no contact rule is all about—helping you get to a better place emotionally and mentally. It’s about getting the necessary perspective that can only come with some distance from him and the relationship. The no contact rule can get you the exact relationship you’ve always wanted because it gives you time to focus on yourself and your relationship needs and decide who is really right for you. Maybe it’s your ex, but more likely it’s someone new.

Hope this cleared up any lingering confusion. Be sure to take our “Can I Get My Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?” quiz to know if you’re wastng time on a dead end.

Lots of love,
Sabrina Alexis

12 comments… add one

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What if he contacts me? Thanks!

Reply February 3, 2017, 7:40 pm


I need advice. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a little over 3 yrs. It’s been good and we plan on getting married. One day he ask me if material stuff was more important then him. Of course I said no, he than ask me to prove it. I ask how. He ask me to delete any and all pictures and videos and anything that pertains to him. I quickly told him no I couldn’t do it. He was upset and told me that it’s proven that material stuff is more important then him. He says my love is not love just because I didn’t delete the pictures. What do u think?

Reply February 2, 2017, 9:29 pm


A guy I’ve dated for about 4 weeks said he felt things have been moving way to fast (this was after I asked him about getting into a relationship) I told him I’d be happy to slow things down and he said he would think on it. A few days after hearing nothing I told him I agree things were moving fast and it was a lesson learned but I wished him the best and to let me know if he ever wanted to catch up or take the time to properly get to know each other and that I would leave it in his court to reach out to me. I still haven’t heard anything and that was days ago, should I still do the no contact for a few weeks and see after that if he would want to grab a drink?

Reply February 2, 2017, 6:07 am


I think you need to move on.

Reply February 3, 2017, 8:04 pm


I need advise on a situation I have found myself in. I dated a guy for about 5 months in 2015. During the time we dated he found a mole on his hand that was cancerous. He had an operation that got the mole removed but during that time he cut me off. Texting me on a few occasions but then didn’t hear from him for a year. He recently contacted me apologising for his behavior saying he was in a bad spot at the time and he should done things a lot differently. We texted constantly for a few days.
Texting him recently brought back the hurt I had experienced and I didn’t reply to one of his messages for 2 weeks. I contacted him recently of which he has ignored my message for 4 days now. I am upset and I don’t know what to do.
I grew so much in the time I didn’t hear from him. I had actually moved on with my life.
I’m not sure what to do now. Please advise me

Reply January 18, 2017, 5:54 am


I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago. I have texed him. But in a casual manner. In which he replied casually. We dated for 4 months. 7 months after his wife passed away. He was happily married for 19 years. She was also a friend of mine. He realised he wasn’t ready for a relationship and still grieving for his wife. He moved fast to begin with in our relationship, then became distant. I was always there for him and very understanding when he talked about his wife. He said he was falling in love with me. Then suddenly his feelings changed. I’ve decided to now use the no contact rule. Should I wait for him to contact me or move on ?

Reply January 9, 2017, 8:36 pm


Gay blogging rite, Common photos

Reply December 24, 2016, 4:23 am


I am going try this no contact rule coz right now that’s how I feel to stay away n get my head together. Also if it’s meant to be it will be I suppose.

Reply December 9, 2016, 6:34 am


I have been through the No Contact during 2 months, it’s over this week. I definitely feel better. I understood that what I missed the most was not him but the feeling of having someone who cares for me. So I am not sure now that he is ment for me. Probably we can stay friends or just acquaintants. I offered him to be in no contact so should I contact him first after no contact is over?

Reply December 8, 2016, 11:31 pm


Honesty, Truthfulness, and Communication are very important, but when you aren’t getting that in return its time to focus on yourself and leave him/her alone.

Reply December 8, 2016, 5:41 pm


The timing of this article is almost spooky. I just emailed an ex to tell him I needed space to get my head together. I was very calm and honest. When he emailed me back, I answered his questions, he said thanks for explaining, and now I am busy working on me. I am pursuing some new career goals and hiking and running a lot. It isn’t easy because I still want to talk to him but he is pursuing a new relationship and him contacting me was not to my benefit. Great article and keep up the good work.

Reply December 8, 2016, 2:26 pm


I believe the no contact rule makes people bitter. It’s a childish mind game. You don’t focus on you, you focus on the situation. I was heartbroken for three years from no contact. It all could of been eliminated with honesty. I have no respect for people who do this. Just be honest and give closure. You will be more respected in the end.

Reply December 7, 2016, 8:27 pm

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