There was a guy who seemed interested in me, but at the time I was pursuing another guy. Things have changed and I’m interested in this guy now, but a mutual friend told me that I “missed my chance and he’s moved on.”
He seemed like he liked me before and I think he might now, but I can’t tell if he’s into me or one of the other girls that he hangs out with. How can I tell if I still have a chance with him? How do I know if he still likes me?
You can’t read his mind. There’s stuff that would suggest he likes you and stuff that’s a bit more questionable.
I know you want him to like you, so you’re scrutinizing every element like it’s a little clue or suggestion as to whether or not he likes you. You’re playing the role of “emotional detective” – scouring about through your memory bank to find “clues” to help you read his mind.
That’s a losing game. Nobody can read minds. However, having more experience will help remove a lot of mystery about men.
When you don’t know, you’re best strategy is to assume the best.
That’s a lot different than what most people do. Most people assume the worst and it stings them hard – it makes them worried, fearful and insecure. And the feelings of fearing for the worst are so unbearable that anyone would do anything to stop those feelings.
Now here’s the deadly part: Most people assume that the only way to get rid of this awful feeling of insecurity is to put yourself out there or lock him down or blame him for “making” you feel this way.
These are all HUGE mistakes because:
a) They show him that you are desperately needy for his approval.
b) They show him that you can’t handle your own emotions and blame him for your emotional responses.
c) You’re putting the control of your emotions in his hands – the only person that can TRULY address your emotional insecurities is YOU.
So here is the strategy that the most successful women use to get the guys they want: Even though they don’t know what the guy is thinking, they believe, with every fiber of their being, that the guy thinks they’re hot, wants to hook up with them, wants to date them.
They make the decision to hold that assumption hard and solid in their mind and they act in the world accordingly.
Now… that might sound bold. Maybe even crazy? You might even be thinking to yourself, “But if I do that, how will other people see me? How will he see me?!?”
Well… here’s the amazing part. He’ll see you as confident. He’ll see you as a prize to chase. He’ll see you as someone he wants.
Why? Well, most people typically have neutral opinions of others and usually spend more time thinking about what other people think of them.
When you decide to think for other people and decide what they will think about you, a magical thing happens: They very quickly fall in line with how you see yourself.
Now, they might not see you that way immediately–people tend to have automatic ways of acting towards people they just met or people that they’re already used to– but they will.
When you hold firm and solid on your position and don’t stray from it, other people will fall in line with that reality. It might take a day… two days… three days… a week. But if you believe enough, it will happen.
So the answer for you isn’t to know whether or not he likes you. The answer is to decide what you want him (or men in general) to feel/believe about you… and never believe otherwise.
If you really, truly take on this strategy, it will change the rest of your life for the better. I’m not kidding, this is a huge strategy to getting men to find you irresistibly attractive.
Hope that helps,
P.S. Dressing sexy is always a good move, go for it.